“Hi? … Uh, what are you doing here?”
“Well, I thought I’d come say… Hi.” I winced. Really Stackhouse, really?
“Um, well I mean do you… I mean, do you want to come inside?”
I nodded for fear if I spoke my nerves would give me away.
I stepped inside his bedroom—or his cell—but it was definitely more of a bedroom than mine. His bed was bigger and looked more solid, the mattress was thicker as well. A small lamp adorned his bedside locker and beside it sat a few books and pieces of paper. There was a writing desk and chair—on it too sat a small lamp. With both lights on, the room was awash in a golden brown hue that made me think of warmth. If warmth was a place, it would be this room. He also had a radio, something I was incredibly envious of.
“Niall gave it to me when he got a new one, it’s pretty cool.”
“Drowns out the silence, which sometimes is a great thing.”
“I like the silence though; I find growing up in a dorm of snoring girls … well, it makes you appreciate the silence a little.”
“You have a point, but I guess that’s what makes me appreciate a laundry basket… and only one set of dirty clothes. My bed was always beside the hampers for washing and … ugh … Let’s not talk about that.”
We stood there in the middle of his room, his height doing the thing that it always did when we were alone in an enclosed space… it completely swamped me.
“Wanna sit?” He motioned to his bed—his tousled, unmade bed. He noticed me looking, and without meaning too, I guess he felt bad about it being all crumpled. So he hurried over to straighten out the sheets and put the pillows in their rightful positions. He was jittery, and he kept wiping his palms down the front of his pants. He was nervous.
Oh thank God, I wasn’t the only one.
I took a tentative seat at the foot of his bed; it was much more comfortable than mine was that’s for sure. Eric took a seat beside me, but a second later shot up and across the room.
“Are you okay, Eric?”
“No… Yeah. I, of course I’m okay, I just… Fuck.”
My eyes widened. He was clearly uncomfortable and his less than welcoming stance made me want to bolt.
“Oh. I… you know, I shouldn’t have come. I’m keeping you from sleep or … working. I should just go.”
“No! Sookie, no. That’s not it at all. I just…” He sighed, rather dramatically to himself before he crossed the room to stand before me.
“I’m sorry, can we just start over. I don’t know why I’m being so… weird.”
“Because it’s late, I’m in your room and there’s no one around to see us?” I offered.
“Yeah, I mean it’s not that I don’t want you here, because believe me, I want you here. You have no idea how many nights I’ve woken up just wishing you were right there next to me and—”
“Right. Sorry. I really am trying to stop with the coffee.” He added. He was so cute when he was flustered.
“Come sit with me.” I offered out my hand and led him to his bed. He sat down first and opted to scoot to the head of the bed so he was sitting up, but laying down all at the same time. He tapped the small space beside him for me to join him.
I slid onto his bed on my knees, before turning myself to sit by his side. We sat awkwardly for a few seconds before he laughed a sweet genuine laugh.
“This is so stupid. Come ‘ere.” He motioned to me with his arms, and I took his offer and his cuddle with silent thanks that perhaps the initial awkwardness would fade.
I laid there with my head on his chest, just listening to his heart thumping away for I don’t know how long before either of us wanted to speak again. We’d say something funny or stupid and just drift right back into comfortable silence again. The simple act of just being able to spend some time together was sheer bliss. I ran my fingers along the neck of his tank top, while he threaded his fingers in and out of my hair. It was comforting, it was peaceful, it was love.
“Can I ask you a maybe-sort-of-stupid question?”
“Don’t you always?” He chuckled.
“Nice.” I punched him playfully.
“Ask me anything… I’m an open book.”
“Why… I… Why do you love me?”
He paused and then moved to look at me. His eyebrows were high enough to reach the heavens and he looked horrified.
“Sookie… Don’t you know why?”
“Well, I mean, I think I do sometimes but… Eric I just… I mean, look at Sophie and then look at me I just—”
“Hey. Listen to me okay? You don’t ever need to compare yourself to her, you’re nothing like her.”
“That’s my point. She was stunning and glamorous and sexy and … worldly. I’m just… a mess.”
“Sweetheart, you are far from a mess. Look, okay so Sophie had some of those qualities, but it doesn’t mean that you lack them.”
“Riiiight, I’m sexy.” I rolled my eyes.
“You are. You are so sexy.”
“You are! Like when you kiss me and you think that I might not want to. It starts off so sweet and unsure but then you know I want you, so you let go of whatever’s holding you back and you just go for it—but not in a wanton way—in a Sookie way. The way you nibble on your lower lip when you get nervous or you’re trying to figure something out.” He lay down fully, taking me with him, both of us facing each other as he laced his fingers with mine. “I love the way you laugh, like really laugh when you let yourself go. I love the way you sound more and more southern as you grow tired. I love that I know you, I know your face, your eyes, your smile. It’s all in my memories—memories of us.”
I was blushing, mainly because it was an incredible answer, one I wasn’t prepared for. I hid my face in his neck before he laughed.
“You know, that’s not to mention those lips of yours, or your rather … I assure myself of this—incredible breasts of yours…
“What, am I not allowed to appreciate you for not only your soul but also the body God gave you?”
“You don’t know if I have incredible anything…” I said into his chest.
“But I will… One day.”
My head was still semi buried in his neck so the lower register of his voice and the rumble in his chest was rather hard to miss from my vantage point. It set off tingles in places it really probably shouldn’t have.
“Oh is that right?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Sure of yourself are you…?”
“What makes you so sure that you’ll get to see all my … worldly goods, if ever, Northman?”
“I just am. And when I do, I promise to worship them like they deserve to be worshiped.”
He hummed an ‘mmhmm’ back at me, tilting my chin so I’d face him.
“One day. IF and when you’re ready for us to go there, I’m more than willing.”
Yeah like his pants didn’t tell me that on a regular basis.
“And If I’m not?” I tendered.
“Ever? Well, then I’ll deal with it.”
“It won’t make you not—”
“Darling, you have to stop thinking like that, you hear me? I love you. Hell, I’ve loved you since we were kids. It was just a different kind of love, but it was love all the same. And if all I get with you for the rest of my life are stolen kisses and nothing more? Then that’s fine, because it still means you’re there, in my life, making it that much brighter every day.” He looked so sincere and passionate in that moment, and while it didn’t erase all my doubts, it certainly did a bang up job of hushing them for the time being.
I kissed him, with as much feeling as I could put into the kiss; I gave it my all. We lay there, nothing else touching besides our lips, for the longest time. When we finally had to break for breath, we both looked a mess. My braid was all out of place, he had a serious case of bed head forming, and we were both tired and aroused all at the same time. While Eric did his best to divert my attention from the rather large tent forming in his pants, I tried my best too, to ignore ‘it’.
I knew going there with him was a possibility, but I was still—in my heart at least—a good Catholic girl. This apparently meant I could allow him to pleasure me with his hands and vice versa, but heaven forbid if I thought about allowing him to have my virginity. Though I have to say, if his pre-show was anything like the main event, I would really, really enjoy myself.
Which of course was wrong, the voice—more importantly Geraldine’s voice—was booming in my head that it was such. But Amelia told me, and told me some more, that I should stop doubting what I wanted for once and just go right ahead and take it.
Could I take Eric in that sense? What would us making love be like? How would things change between us, would things change between us? Would we feel differently about each other afterwards? Could I let him see me naked, like he so desperately wanted to? How would I handle being with him naked…?
I shook myself from my thoughts as I realized he’d fallen asleep underneath me. The slow lull of his breathing was so calming, he was asleep I was sure but somehow his arms still held me just as fiercely. I felt warm, I felt loved, and for the first time—maybe ever—I felt safe. Before I knew it, I’d dosed off into the best, albeit shortest, sleep of my life.
“You have to get up now!”
“Five more minns” she slurred slamming herself back into my pillow, and damn it to hell if she didn’t look inviting as hell all tousled and warm, in my bed. Her nightgown had ridden up to her knees and one sleeve was slightly hanging off her shoulder, exposing her neck. Morning wood loved this visual, however my actual upstairs brain was having a freak-out.
“SOOK IT’S six-ten. Butt out of bed now, before we’re caught.”
“What? I’m up.” She shot up right away. Looking at my bedside clock and cussing a sweet “Goshdarnitno!” to herself.
She slipped on one red sock after another before looking out my window.
“Okay, it’s okay. It’s Selah’s kitchen day. She’s always, always late. I might still have time to get back to my cell before they’re all up. SHIT!”
“Sookie did you just—”
“Shush you!” She put her nightgown to rights. Even in her panic she remembered her modesty.
“Shush! No talking, panic. I have to run.”
She bolted out the door without another word, though a second later she slid—yes slid—around the tiled corner on her pretty red socks, back into my room and planted a smacking smooch on my lips.
“Bye.” She smiled before taking off at a sprint again, leaving me with that I was sure was the goofiest grin I’d ever worn.
I slipped into the kitchen a half hour later to reach for my morning wake up call. Given the late night before, I needed it with an extra kick. Only instead of the waft of coffee, I was greeted by a rather stressed looking Selah. I hated her kitchen days; she couldn’t make good coffee for all the money in the world.
“Morning, Father.” She smiled.
“Like a dream, you?”
“Oh yes, I slept well. Such a nice morning don’t you think?”
“I suppose it is, yes.”
“Uh… Any word on Father Compton?”
“And Father Brigant? On their travels? I heard, I was just wondering if you knew when they’d be back.”
God, she was weird.
“Um, no not yet. I’m sure they’ll call once they get settled in.”
“Oh, so they’re staying then?”
“For a couple of weeks or so I believe. Is there a problem, maybe I can help?”She blushed at me, which, again, was weird.
“No, no. It’s fine I was just you know, curious is all.”
I nodded and held up my cup of tar, ugh. Maybe I’d ask Sookie to brew it nice like she usually does. ***Sookie and I continued to see each other whenever we could without it looking odd. She would also make the nightly trip from her dorms to mine and every night I was just as excited as I was the first time. Each night we’d talk about the details of our day; we’d snuggle up together in my bed on top of the covers to begin with, but as the nights wore on she opened up more and trusted herself to slide between the sheets with me. Each night we’d do all those things, and we’d kiss, we’d touch, we’d make out till both of us were panting and breathless—or until I HAD to stop before things got embarrassing. It’s not that the getting her alone and getting to make out and hit a few bases on the way wasn’t great, because it was, but honestly it was the sleep. When I was with her, having her there all safe and warm in my arms, it allowed me to have some of the best night’s sleep I’d ever gotten. I felt safe.
Weird right? I’m a big guy; I’m more than able to look after myself now. But this place, it has that affect on a person. Since I grew up in a room similar to the one I was sleeping in alone at night—a stone’s throw from it to be exact—those issues of feeling scared or vulnerable in that big dorm didn’t just disappear. But somehow, just having her there with me in my bed, I felt like nothing in the world could touch us.
A naïve notion I’ll grant you, but it was one I yearned for nonetheless.
I’d been waiting for her, night six of our nights together. Yes I was keeping count, so sue me. I’d left my bedroom door open just a smidge and I could hear her feet padding up the tiled hallway. She swept inside with a rushed air about her, slamming my door and leaning up against it.
“Goodness I thought she was never going to go to sleep!”
“Agnes. She has the flu and she’s been up and down all night with tea and tissues and sneezing her head off in the room next to me. I feel bad for her, I do, but man!” She rushed to where I sat on my bed, and instead of sitting next to me, she opted for my lap.
Not that would ever complain about that.
“Hi.” She whispered into my ear before she sucked my earlobe into her mouth.
So I guess the talking would be postponed tonight. She sucked on my earlobe gently before nibbling down my jaw line, my neck—down one side and up the other—before she went for my lips. She held my face in both her small cold hands, kissing me for all her worth.
“Your hands are cold.” I commented when we broke apart for a second.
“Is it bothering you?”
I shook my head no, taking both her hands and fitting them between mine. The size difference was almost comical as I cupped them together and began to blow my breath onto them, warming them up for her. Her eyes never left mine the whole time; there was something almost predatory in her gaze. I couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but there was a definite lust that had just made itself known in her features.
Once I let go of her hands she snaked them around my neck. I on the other hand, held onto her as gently as I could.
The previous nights when we’d make out, I’d always taken the lead; I’d always made the first move so that she wouldn’t have to. Tonight though, it seems like little Sookie wanted a piece of the action.
And I was loving it.
After our escapade in the kitchen where she brought me to a mind tingling orgasm using just her hands, and after I’d thankfully managed to reciprocate assuring myself that I was not in fact a selfish, self-serving asshole, we’d kept things fairly light.
Lots of kissing, some nibbling, and a little—in my case—over the nightie action.
But tonight she had other ideas.
She’d hiked her nightdress up so that where her legs were straddling my waist was bare, and she started to very lightly grind herself into me. The friction was more than welcome after almost a week of constant blue balls. She snaked her hands up inside my white tank, scraping her nails down my abs, up my chest and down again. Whether or not she realized it, she was teasing me something serious, and I loved every minute of it. She reached for the bottom of my tank and suddenly yanked it over my head. I watched her enjoying the view for a few seconds, sending my confidence to an all time high.
She started to nibble on her lower lip, like she was trying to figure out what her next move would be. For all I cared, she could have played me like a chess board.
She grinded again and again, till I was harder than ever and in need of some serious release. Which over the past number of weeks, I had no problem taking into my own hands—so to speak.
Her lips latched onto my neck and she began to suck. It was new and completely unexpected. It made my dick twitch just thinking about where I’d really have liked those lips.
Of course, I chastised myself mentally for assuming or even wanting that to happen. Sookie was a good girl at heart and good girls didn’t do things like that to their boyfriends, did they?
Was I her boyfriend? Could I even call myself her boyfriend? Could a priest—even a shitty one like me—call a nun his girlfriend?
As I got lost in my thoughts as well as the sensation of her hips bucking against mine, I realized she was talking to me.
“I said, do you trust me?” Those baby blues hooded and so full of lust stared back at me. What was there not to trust?
“Of course I do.”
“Lay back for me.”
It wasn’t a question so much as an order, so I did as the lady asked and I laid back. My legs hung off the bed and touched the floor but my back and head were on the bed. She shimmed up my body to make us more accessible to each other, and it mean that she had basically mounted me. She started kissing me again, this time sliding her hands to my belt. I instantly froze.
This was new.
She kissed her way down my neck, down my chest and when she nipped one of my nipples with her teeth I … uh, accidentally grabbed her ass hard, causing her to squeal. I let her continue her journey though; I was dying to see where she was going with this little adventure of hers.
She unbuckled my belt, slid open my buttons and undid my zipper. By this point alone, I was willing myself not to come before she’d even touched me. I sat up on my elbows and I watched her, lips firmly planted between her teeth as she yanked down my pants and my underwear leaving me exposed to the world and more than a little turned on.
I swore I heard her gasp, but then again I was too busy mentally preparing myself not to just come all over myself from her looking at me.
“Shhh. It’s okay. I… I want to try this okay?”
Okay? Was she actually asking me if I minded if she…?
“No, no talking. If you talk, you’ll talk me out of it and I don’t want you do to that.” She looked me square in the eye. She was nothing if not determined, my Sookie.
Losing the feeling in my arms for a second, I flopped back down onto the bed, just in time to feel her mouth below my belly button. I felt her hands wrap around me and start massaging. My eyes rolled back in my head from the sensation before I felt it—her mouth, her amazingly hot, wet mouth, wrapped around the head of my cock as her hands continued to work wonders.
“JESUS!” I moaned, louder than even I expected. I thanked God that the dorms were in fact empty as I clutched the sheets. Sookie took me in her mouth and before I knew it she’d started to suck.
Sookie was sucking me off and I had no idea which way was up never mind how she’d learned to do this.
How I’d ended up coming to his room that night with thoughts of taking control and tasting him to satisfy my curiosity more than anything, I’ll never know. ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ as they say, and I’m pretty sure the saying should have been curiosity killed the disobeying nun. Ever since Amelia and I had talked about Eric and how our relationship had developed, well, my curiosity was nothing if not peaked. We’d spent almost a week of nights just being together, nothing was rushed or pushed and we weren’t on tender hooks thinking someone might walk in on us at any time.
We’d kiss; we’d pretend we weren’t copping a feel. Eric was nothing if not as subtle as a flyin’ brick, but I let it go since it was fun for me too. Just getting to know each other again—only this time, in a much more intimate way.
After night four of falling asleep in Eric’s arms—by night two we’d been smart enough to set his alarm for a few hours later to give us fair warning—and of course, Eric’s argument of some ‘morning cuddles,’ I think my boy was a closeted cuddle fiend.
I’d visited Ame’s before the night that saw me on my knees. She knew by looking at me that things had shifted and as I told her of the extensive developments between us and our time together, she was thrilled that I was quote “getting yours” at last. I agreed with her only because if I didn’t relax about it she wasn’t going to share her apple tartlets with me, and those babies were good.
“So, Ames I’ve been thinking.”
“About?” She asked as she munched.
“You know, when we were talking that time about how … Well that instead of just touching me … you know…” I motioned under the table, “down there.”
She rolled her eyes at my wording. Sadly, unlike her I just wasn’t comfortable talking freely about sex.
“Yes, what of it?”
I stayed silent, and she grinned.
“Ohhh, little Sookie wants to go down town on her Viking booooyfriend.” She said in a sing song voice that was really annoying to me, least of all because what she was saying was true.
“No! Well… yes. I mean, maybe? I’m not sure but I’ve been thinking about it.”
She scoffed “I’ll bet you have. Naughty girl.”
She laughed then handing me more mini tartlets. Tiny apple filled pieces of heaven.
“I’m sorry. I mock with love, my little Sookiekins.”"Okay, please never call me that again?” I deadpanned.
“So what is it what, you want to—” she wriggled her brows at me, “with Eric, yes?”
“I mean it’s still gross to me, I mean he … pees from there. How is that hygienic?”
“Well he seems like a respectable bathing daily kind of guy. I wouldn’t sweat the hygiene part.”
“What part should I sweat?”
“Do you know what to do?”
“Of course not. Hi? Raised in a convent here.”
“Yes, but from what I hear those Catholic girls are the worse for getting it on. Case in point, I know this nun—”
“Okay, I get your point, but can you please just … explain, maybe so I don’t make a complete fool out of myself with him.”
“Oh sweetie, I think at this point Eric is so enamored with you, you could whip him and he’d like with it.”That hit a nerve and I flinched. Not everyone knew that we’d had a history of such things and none of them in a pleasurable way.
Realization crossed her face and she gasped. “Oh shit, Sookie. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to—”
“No, God! Me and my big mouth. I just… I was just kidding.”
“Hey, I know, okay? It’s fine, really.”
She nodded, a lot less hyper than before, but then she smiled.
“So, on blowing the Viking, the trick is no teeth, and to suck—not blow—as some think.”
“Wait, why is …? No never mind.”
“No, ask me.”
“Why is it called a … blow job?” I whispered. “If you… suck.”
She looked off into a space above my head as she thought.
“You know, I have no idea? But honestly, just go with your instinct and work him out. Lots of spit. It helps move things along and if he’s too big and it’s hurting your jaw, use your hands to speed things up and just concentrate on his head.”
“Oh… Right, sorry.” Jaw, hurting, hands, sucking. I was in a state of shock by the time she finished, and I realized I probably knew more about her sexual style than anyone else. It was unsettling.
So that’s what led me to take charge. It was wrong and it sounded dirty and good girls didn’t do wrong dirty sounding things… but well, I wasn’t really a good girl any more. I was spending my nights—however fully clothed—wrapped in my boyfriend’s arms.
Boyfriend… was he my boyfriend? I’d never had one. I wasn’t sure what their purpose was, but whatever it was I was sure Eric fit the bill.
When I first motioned to free him from his pants, I was, in all honesty, shocked. I’d felt him before but I’d never really seen all he had to offer. The lighting was bad and it was all very rushed and blurry. Now though, I had no such distractions as he was laid out before me, tense and standing to attention for whatever was coming at him. I was nervous as all heck; I had every right to be, but I figured I wanted this and from the looks of things Eric wanted this too. My curiosity got the better of me so I just went with what I felt. And I felt the urge to taste him.
The first taste was a mixture of things—his taste and scent combined to where I wasn’t sure where one ended and the other began. Salted skin, scent of soap, and another that I couldn’t quite place. It was musk like in tones and had me throbbing below for contact. When I finally sheathed him with my mouth, he gasped and jerked his hips causing more of him to go in than I was expecting. Not unwelcome, just surprising, like most things when it came to Eric.
He moaned, sliding his fingers into my hair and curling them on the back of my head, gently guiding my movements from the start. He was for all of my limited knowledge of men and their packages… huge. Long, but thick, and not at all repulsive like I’d first imagined it would be. His taste, reactions and verbal appreciation for my so-called skills were intoxicating. It was powerful, and I soon realized that I craved that power. Not necessarily over Eric, for I knew whatever power I was wielding over him he was allowing to happen.
He, like me and our childhoods combined, set up the standard of flinching in the face of force. We both hated it and we both knew, it seems, when gentle persuasion was crossing the line to force… and what started off as gentle nudging soon began to be a little too forceful for my liking. I knew he was close to his finish; I could feel him get harder under my finger tips and my lips as I explored every inch of his sex, when I felt his hand clamp down on my head. I knew it wasn’t meant to, but it hurt and I froze. When I froze, he froze and when I looked up he was looking down, his eyes wide with a look of fear.
“Oh my God, Sookie I didn’t mean to do that I just got… a little carried away.”He was breathless, as was I. We were both a little stunned.
When I stayed silent, I could almost feel him freaking out.
“God… Shit… Sook, I’m a horrible, horrible—”
“Shhh.” I said.
“No, but I never—”
“I know, you just lost control for a second and its okay.”
“No, it’s not okay. I hurt you, I forced myself on—”
“Okay, you stop that right now, Eric Northman. Yes, it shocked me and yes, okay it did hurt a little, but we’re learning here right? There has to be a few… bumps in the road.”
“That doesn’t mean it was okay to… lose myself like that. This is my problem Sookie. I can’t control myself around you. And it’s just getting worse!”
I understood that. More than once during his sermons, having to watch those girls go gaga over him, made my jealously rear its ugly head. I wanted nothing more than to walk up to that altar and kiss him till they all fainted of shock.
But of course I didn’t.
He kissed me again. I knew he tasted himself on me when he blinked in confusion, but kissed me again anyway. He kept apologizing, and I, of course, kept reassuring him that it was just a slip up and that I knew he’d never force himself on me… unlike another priest in this place who seemingly had no issue with such dilemmas. It only forced home even more the stark differences between Eric and them.
Eric was all puppy-eyed and pouting, while still hard as a rock. I have to admit, it was a comical sight to see. But I forgave him, heck, I’d forgiven him the second it happened. We all get carried away, and just because I was new at this didn’t mean I didn’t want to learn. So I shh’d him once more, kissed him with everything I had and while my hands brought him to orgasm. Despite his wounded puppy protests that I didn’t have to touch him ever again if I didn’t want to, because he wouldn’t deserve it.
My confidence and thirst for power returned when I saw him fall apart from my hands. He was completely at my mercy pleasure wise, and it was wonderful.
What was equally as wonderful was the look in his eyes afterward. He was all starry-eyed and spent, yet he managed to kiss me into a state before finding his second wind and turning the tables on me by rolling me over onto the bed, slipping down on his knees and gently pushing up my nightgown. When I asked him what he thought he was doing, the glint in his eye told me before his mouth did.