Chapter 13: Chapter 13
I pulled up at his gated mansion, and I must have sat there for about a half hour, just thinking and over thinking. I realized that my life revolved around this man, no matter what I did, no matter where I went, he was the focus. I knew how wrong it was, I really did, he had won. No matter what I did from I was eight years old, he was always going to be there, in the back of mind, haunting me like a ghost that wasn’t even dead yet.
He would be though. He ruined my life, the only life you get, and he ruined it before it even had a chance to begin. I hated him for that, I had hated him for a very long time, but no more so than I did when I pushed Eric away from me. I loved him so much, and in such a short space of time he managed to change my life in so many ways, he made me realize that I was in fact capable of love. And being loved. But instead of getting lost in Eric’s love for me, I had to nip it in the bud, mainly because before Eric I had a goal, and I was too close to my goal to let it go now. I hoped that if I met my goal, and achieved what I viewed to be my own personal brand of justice, then maybe I might get some peace. Maybe I’d forget him, forget all the things he ever did to me, forget how it made me feel.
Or maybe it would finally drive me mad. Who knows.
All I did know was that I was there, outside his house with murder on my mind and a knife in my purse. A woman who I’d say was in her late fifties exited the gates shortly after I arrived, I wondered if she worked for him, or was some unfortunate soul that had the job of fucking him. Either way, I didn’t envy her. What I did do though was buzz his gates. And waited.
I heard his voice for the first time in over ten years and it was instantly as if I was eight years old again.
That, I hadn’t been expecting.
“Who’s there?” Came his voice over the comm.
I cleared my throat, which had gone suddenly dry, and spoke up.
“It’s Sookie.” I said and there was a long pause on his end, as my heart started to race.
“Sookie… Oh my… Well, um, come on up to the house, Sookie.” he said and the gates opened allowing me to drive up his long landscaped driveway to his front door.
I didn’t ring the door bell that sat beside his blood red door, instead I just stood there and waited for him to answer.
He answered, an unsure look on his now much older face. He’d been an old man for as long as I could recall, but to a kid I guess everyone was really old. But now he was showing his age that’s for sure.
“Sookie…” he said, shock and a hint of something else in his voice. “It’s been a long time.”I nodded, not really sure where my voice had gone.
“Please… come in.” he waved me in, and I couldn’t really tell you what his house looked like, I couldn’t take my eyes off him to look around. Before I knew it we were standing in a large open spaced kitchen and a kettle was boiling.
“My tea making skills aren’t exactly up to snuff, Dena is my housekeeper she went home early because her son is sick… so I’m here fending for myself.”
Light, cheerful and without a doubt, fake, his tone portrayed an air of confidence and almost happiness at my showing up. His eyes though, they were as nervous as they’d ever been.
“What brings you here, Susie.”
“Don’t call me that.” I said harshly and he looked suitably affronted.
“Sorry.””I came here for a lot of reasons, it’s been a very long time Bartlett, and I’d be lying if I said I was just in the neighbourhood. I figured it was about time that you and I had a chat. It’s been long over due, don’t you think?”My heart was pounding, what was I doing there? Could I really go through with this? He was unlike all the others, the others I didn’t know from a hole in the wall, I didn’t care, I didn’t feel anything, but here he was standing in front of me, still the man I remembered but now he was so much older and smaller than he was in my course in my mind, I’m eight and he’s fucking me.
Perspective is a funny thing.
He set the cup of tea in front of me, and sipped at his own, allowing the long silence to go on even further.
“Your Gran died… did you know that?”
“Yes. I did. She died, and they let me out, funnily enough all around the same time, almost as if someone was paying her, to pay them, to keep me there.”
He looked down at his tea again, guilty as sin.
“I was so young.” I said and his face snapped a look at me. Fear in his eyes.
Good, I wanted him to fear me, he should fear me, just like I feared him my whole life.
“Sookie if you came here to dredge up history then I’d really rather not.”
I laughed, because really, who said he got a say in this at all?
“I love that you say that, as if you have a choice in the matter, uncle.”
“Why are you here then?”
I simply smiled and sipped my tea.
“I want to know… everything.”
“About what?” His voice shook.
“Why you did it? To me, back then, and why you convinced my Gran to lock me away all those years. You knew I was telling truth, and still you locked an eleven year old in a mental hospital for things that weren’t true, there was nothing ‘wrong’ with me Bartlett, you were the one that was wrong and we both know it.”
He sighed and got up from the table. I did too, I wasn’t letting him out of my sight, not now.
“Sookie you were a very… rambunctious child, and you had a very vivid imagination, the things you were saying they simply weren’t true. I never touched you, not like you were implying, and for you to be spreading such filth, when my career was just beginning to show such promise, well, it was inconceivable. I couldn’t let your lies ruin my life.”
I had followed him into his office, I noticed it was all dark wood and rich cream carpeting, two large glass doors were open looking out onto his side yard. None of that mattered of course, because I was too stunned to care where we were. What he had just said sounded like the truth, it sounded like that to anyone that didn’t know the real him, and I knew him.
“Your life? You couldn’t let ME ruin YOUR life? That’s fucking rich.”
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do you old bastard.” I snapped, “You know what you did, you know it and I know it, and for you to stand there, bold as brass and LIE? To me? It’s fucking ridiculous. Did you really convince yourself it didn’t happen? Did you?”
I demanded and he simple didn’t answer me, not a shrug or a blink to acknowledge it.
“I don’t know why I’m so shocked. You wouldn’t admit it then, I can’t see why you’d admit it now.”
“What do you want, Sookie? Huh? Money? Is that what this is about? You need money?”
“If it’s money you need just say and I’ll give you whatever you want.”
“What I want? You can never give me what I want because you took the only thing I had when I was EIGHT years old. Just admit it.” My heart was about ready to jump out of my chest, my skin was freezing but I felt hot, my head was spinning.
He stayed silent behind his desk.
And I screamed at him, launching the shit on his desk right into his lap.
“Susie, you clearly have mental health issues, that much is obvious. I can get you some help.”I laughed again, it was either laugh, or cry and I didn’t want him to see me cry.
“You can’t help me. I was beyond help when you crept into my bedroom that first night, and did what you did to me, do you remember it? Or was there so many that, that first night is now a blur to you? Huh? Because I remember it. What you said, what you did. Tell me, what did you say to me…?”
Again he still stayed silent, and I felt as if I was losing my mind.
Maybe I was.
Bartlett Stackhouse, the data base was just full of glowing things to say about Judge Stackhouse, none of them anything I gave a shit about, the man was an sadistic asshole pure and simple. What did catch my attention, along with Bill’s enlightening information on the Christian name for ‘Sookie’, I found Judge Stackhouse had a family when he was a lawyer. A sister, and her family, and in her family they listed a great niece.
My heart all but stopped. I knew then what I should have found all along. My skin was crawling as I imagined just what their past together was like, and I felt downright ill when I searched Susannah’s name. It gave the name of a medical facility that she’d spent a long time in, and it just so happens that Pam’s on the down low fling was the admin there.
After waiting three hours, I was finally able to have an evaluation copy of her records sent to me, Sookie was, I was sorry to say my prime suspect and if these records told me what I thought they were going to, I’d have a warrant for the real thing in a heart beat. When the email finally came though, and after promising Pam that not only was I ‘fine’, but I owed her one, she relented and left me to it.
I scrolled. Basic medical information from when she was a baby, all regular and fine, what wasn’t though was a hospital admittance for odd non menstrual bleeding at aged eight, apparently she didn’t stick around to be examined with whoever took her. And I read on, and on, and there it was. Admitted to Fairview Medical, Psyche ward. Initial tests resulted in a fantasy delusions and borderline personality disorder ruling, they said, they also said she was a danger to herself and her family.
She wouldn’t have even been thirteen.
He was the reason, I was sure of it. He had made her who she was, he had taken something from her at that age and fucked her up, in more ways than one. As I read the battery of test they did on her, I felt sick. She was a child and she was all alone because of him and what he’d done to her.
Popped up in Florida a few years back for a sliced hand accident, and in New York last year for a human bite would and a tetanus shot. The murders in New York came to mind, right around the time she was there, Florida, that I didn’t know about. Was it all because of him? I felt it was.
I wanted to kill him, really and truly I wanted, right there in that minute to strangle the bastard for what he did to that poor innocent little girl. But, what proof did I have? That his great niece was a little loopy and hasn’t been seen or heard of, at least legally on record in almost two years now?
Maybe I wouldn’t need to, I thought, as it dawned on me then. If he was the one to make her this way, then he was the one she was after… if she was in fact responsible for those other murders like my gut was telling me she was.
But I couldn’t go on gut alone. I needed substantial evidence. If not for Sookie, then against her. I guess I just had to decide who’s side I was on, and fast.
I don’t know what I was doing, there was plan and very well thought out plan, and I was fucking it all away with my emotions.
“I can help you, Susie.” he said, full of what a stranger would see as sympathy but I saw through it. He was manipulating me, and I was fucking letting him.
“Stop. Calling me. Susie.” I said grinding my teeth as I paced his office, what the fuck was I doing here, if I was going to do what I wanted to do, why didn’t I just do it. Walk in there and shank the bastard for lip to groin? Why couldn’t I just do it? Stop asking question, stop looking for answers from him, just. Kill him.
“I don’t want your help, I want you to admit it.”
“And what good would that do? For either of us?”
“You raped me. Repeatedly, night after night and you don’t even care. I was eight years old, I was a fucking child and you made me do things that no one should have to do. Why can’t you see that?”
I broke my fucking rule and I cried, I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t help anything in those moments, I was a child again standing in front of him and my emotions couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t do this.
“I was a different person back then Sus… Sookie. I am… sorry.”
I looked up at him then, his old grey face, his same blue eyes. Those eyes and that mouth that I would fear and as he tried to touch my shoulder in comfort I snapped. I reached into my purse that was slung long on my shoulder and I slashed at him, I caught his cheek and it bled thick and fast.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asked, shocked, grasping at his cheek and instead of answering him I kicked him in the knee caps, twice, bringing him to his knees on the ground.
“You are what’s wrong with me, but I think we need to right a few wrongs, don’t you?” I asked kicking him hard in the balls, something I’d imagined doing many times over the years.
It was time though, I’d had enough, and I realized that even his most heartfelt apologies wasn’t going to change shit, I had to do what I came here to do.
Except his phone rang. And rang, and rang some more as he laid there holding himself, spots of blood now running his lovely cream carpet.
His answering maching picked it up and I dropped my knife.
It was Eric.
“Judge Stackhouse this is Eric Northman calling, Sir, I need to talk to you urgently on a personal matter, in fact I’m on the way to your house right now, your secrtary told me you’re working from home today…”
Fuck, shit, fucking fuck.
Panic, stress, tears, fear, it was all too much. And Bartlett saw it, he saw the panic in my eyes.
“He’s a good cop. Far too good a soul for the job he’s in, but you know him, don’t you? I can tell.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“You do know him, rather well, by your reaction… Sookie, did you come here to kill me?”
“Yes.” I said, my voice no longer trembling because of him, but because of what it meant for Eric to come here. It meant he knew, he knew it all.
“He will stop you.”
Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn’t it didn’t matter because I knelt down beside the old man who was still cupping his old man balls. I snipped the buttons off his shirt with my blade, and he watched me in fear, I was kneeling on his hand and his other one I could fend off easily, and yet he didn’t move.
“Are you afraid, Bartlett?”
He just looked at me.
“Are you afraid? I was afraid. The first night you creeped into my bedroom, slid your hands into my nightgown and took my panties… do you remember that? That was the night I knew you were evil, for the first time. I knew that wasn’t normal. And then the week after that, you did it again, only this time you touched me, do you remember?” I asked as I snapped off the button of his pants, he stopped breathing for a second.
“Do. You. Remember?” I asked as I grabbed his old, gross, and pointless dick.
“YES OKAY. YES I REMEMBER, now just stop, okay? Please stop.”
“Does that sound familiar too? Huh? How many times did I ask YOU to stop? And did you listen? No, you didn’t, you decided your fucked up needs were more important than me, so you did it, you touched me and worse still you made me touch and kiss and … you made me do things to you that I can never forget, and then! Ha!” I laughed, bitterly as I squeezed him till he began to cry. “Then you fucked me, with this.”
I squeezed again.
“Looking at you now, its’ odd to think such a thing could do so much damage….Then again, this knife isn’t threatening looking but it’s the sharpest blade I could find, cuts through skin like paper, or so I’m told.”
I slit a line from one side of his body to another, just a small one, but enough for blood and he began to cry out. “I told them it was for hunting. I didn’t tell them exactly what I was hunting.” I said.
He sobbed and he begged and it didn’t make me feel better, I thought having him there, as venerable as I once was, to let him feel how I felt that it would be enough. But then, nothing would ever be enough and the clock was ticking.
I grabbed his balls and with one swift slice, he was ball-less and a screaming mess of blood on his office floor.
“I told you once, before they took me away that you’d pay for what you did, and I’m taking payment.” I said before I stabbed him, not hard enough though because the fucker was still breathing and there was a knocking on the door, I knew he hadn’t locked it.
He was panting and crying and screaming, blood gushing from his body, his once pristine floor now ruined forever.
That poor floor, I knew how it felt.
I got up fast and went over to the door, locked I tried to open them, and in my panic I’d realized my hands were covered in his blood. This was so not the cut and dry job it was meant to be. I’d gotten sloppy in my emotional breakdown, I yanked the window to his office open and grabbed my bag, and just as I was one leg out the fucking window, I saw him… standing there with his gun, his leather gloves and a stunned look on his beautiful face.
I guess Eric finally met Sookie Stackhouse.
A/N: Man, that was a tough one to write, it’s such a hard subject to tackle since thankfully (thannkfully) I have no experience to draw from in what Sookie went through so I was making it up as I went, I just hope it felt right for her and the story so far! The guessing game is over at this point guys, her gig is up, but some of you think that maybe that’s what she wants?
You might not be so wrong.
Reviews are adored as usual, you know I love hearing what you all think! xoxo
Chapter 14: Chapter 14
When I pulled up to his driveway my heart was just about ready to jump out of my chest when I saw her little yellow car parked up. Shit was going down, and sooner than I thought. I stood on the hood of my car, and jumped the gate. I might have fucked my knee when I landed, but I didn’t care, I think the adrenaline kicked in because I made it up the long drive way, even with the knee pain a lot faster than I imagined, because before I knew it I was inside his house, and following the screams.
I knew what she was doing, I just didn’t want to believe it, but as I opened the door and saw the sobbing bleeding man laying there, I also found her making her escape.
She stood there, frozen, as I was, both of us looking the other dead in the eye, she was covered in blood, tears, and sadness. She didn’t speak, nor did I. instead she looked from me, to Bartlett, and back to me, before she made took her chance on the window leaving me with the dying man on the floor.
“Help… me…” He cried. He’d lost a shit load of blood, and …his balls by the looks of things.
Jesus Christ she didn’t mess around, did she?
I went to him, and looked him in the eye, storing my gun in it’s holster.
“Please help… me Eric please. She- she…”
I know what she did, and I knew I should help him. My first instinct was to help this dying man.
But then my brain kicked in and made me remember just who this man was, what he had done and why he was in the bloody position he was in.
“Did you do it? What she said you did?”
He cried and held himself, blood still gushing.
“DID YOU RAPE HER? DID YOU RAPE THAT LITTLE GIRL?”
I asked him, and somehow I found my hand on her knife, as I twisted it.
“YES…yes I did. I’m sorry … but I did.”
I pushed the knife harder, leaving it to my gloves making the squeaking noise that informed me that I was in fact, twisting it. He had destroyed her life, and he had prospered in life, in law. He sat in judgement over others for most of his life, she knew this. She knew that he had gotten away with what he did to her, and this was her justice, because people like me, had failed her. I yanked out the knife, if they asked, it was in an attempt to pressurize the wound and save him, a lie, but a necessary one.
Because that bastard deserved to die.
The next thing I knew I was in my car, storming through the late afternoon traffic as I called Bill from the car.
“And it was Sookie? Jesus fuck, Eric what are you going to do?” He asked, as if there was another alternative to what I knew I HAD to do.
“I…. don’t I don’t know, Bill. I just… have to find her. Go the house, get the emergency services called…”
“But you said -”
“Yes, he’s dead, just call it in would you? I have to find her.” I said as hung up. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand as I tried her cell again, it was off, as expected.
I didn’t know where I was going to find her, if or how I even could. She could have been anywhere. But she looked a mess, not just a covered in blood mess, but an emotional one. I knew she’d go home before she went anywhere else. I just had to hope that she was still there. I really needed to see her, I needed to hear her side of things.
Funny, six months prior and I wouldn’t have cared, she would have been a murderer, plain and simple. Hell, I caught her in the act, I didn’t need much more proof to lock her away for a very long time.
But it wasn’t six months earlier, it was now, and now, I was different. Now, I felt like I understood her reasoning for it, I knew it didn’t make it right, but I still understood it, I felt for her, more so than I’d ever felt for anyone about anything before in my life.
I had a choice to make though and I had to make it pretty fucking fast.
I could let her go, or I take her in. Either way, I’d lost my Sookie, maybe I never really even had her at all, maybe it was all lies… I didn’t know, all I know is that I had to choose.
Did I go with my the gut of my professional life, or did I go with the love of my life?
How was I meant to choose?
There was blood on my hands, literally and figuratively… I was shaking, I was sobbing. I fell into my apartment, leaving blood, his blood on the door, on the kitchen counter, on my walls. All as I tried to steady my balance. I looked in the mirror in my bedroom. I was a mess, how someone hadn’t stopped me on the way in, I’d never know.
I ran to the bathroom and threw up whatever was in my stomach until there was nothing left.
I failed, I couldn’t do it. I lost my cool, my calm, my collection that I’d had with all the others that glorious lack of emotion had come back to bite me in the ass full force this time.
Facing him was the single hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, harder than all the others. He was my own personal hell and I couldn’t finish the job. I sobbed and tried to catch my breath, I tried so hard that it made me light headed all over again.
As I tried to stop the sobbing and the scrub the blood, it wasn’t helping. I thought cracking some eggs and making something out of nothing might help, to lose myself in my comfort as I had always done, but it did little to set me at ease. As I baked, and rolled and cooked those pies to perfection. I paced the floors, I knew I was done, I knew it was done. I had my shot, and I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t finish what I’d started. The bastard was still breathing when I left him there. All because of Eric.
I broke down and sobbed again until I couldn’t cry anymore. That’s when I heard my apartment door open, a gun edged in first, with Eric following close behind it.
“Sookie, put your hands where I can see them.” he said, his voice full of that kind of scary authority that only cops have.
“I have nothing in my hands Eric, See?” I said offering my hands to him, palms first so he could see of course he could also see the deep blood stains.
“Susannah Stackhouse…” he said then, his eyes full of anger, sadness and something else I couldn’t place.
“What gave me away, was it him?”I asked, casually, checking on my pies as if I’d just asked him about the weather. “I’m glad you came. I have pie.” I said, and maybe I had finally gone mad.
“I pieced it together when you said you’d been to the court house… There are very few Bartlett’s, there are very few Sookie’s, I found the Stackhouse’s, and I found you. Medical records, psyche evaluations, the truth to your lies.” His voice shaky, his eyes red, as he made his way closer to me.
“I am sorry.”
“For lying to you.”
He laughed, bitter and sad. “For lying to me? Sookie, you just attempted to kill a state judge, you’ve killed six other men that I know about and you’re sorry… for lying to me?”
He looked as confused and as torn up as I felt. I hated that I’d put him in his position.
“Yes. The others, they deserved it, you… you didn’t. You didn’t deserve my lies. But I want you to know, everything I shared with you … apart from my last name.”
I sighed as I checked on the pies in the oven, again, ignoring the blood, my blood, his blood, the heat. “It was all real and true.”
“You do believe me. Because you know it’s true. You know what we had was as real as anything ever gets.”
He lowered his gun then, exhaling so loud it almost made me jump.
“Did I lie, or did I kill them?”
He looked at me then, the full scale of his pain evident in his face, and his voice as his inner emotions got the better of him as his voice broke slightly as he spoke.
“All of it.”
“If you read my medical records and my evaluations…”
“And the fact that you practically grew up in a mental institution….”
“And that…you’ll know why.” I knew the records wouldn’t flat out say what was wrong with me, but it was obvious what, and it was just as obvious why it was being kept off the record.
“Repeatedly, for years. I had to have reconstructive surgery when I was eleven, Eric, he’d ruptured me so badly, but of course all I’d done was ‘fallen off a horse’ or some shit. Still they turned their backs. So yes, I did kill those men, and your number is a little off by the way, and I killed them because they were all just like him.” I said through my tears, telling this to the only man I had ever loved felt more surreal than lopping off Bartlett’s balls. This was something I had never wanted to do.
“I’m sorry for what you’ve been though, I am. No one deserves to go through something like that. But it doesn’t make… any of what you did, right.”
“Two wrongs don’t make a right? Right?”
“Or, in my case, twelve wrongs don’t make a right.”
“You killed -”
I nodded, “In three other states.”
“Why are you telling me all this? Huh? Was I next Sookie?”
I dropped one of the pies, the cherry pie.
“What? NO! I would have never hurt you, Eric, I couldn’t…”
“You couldn’t?” He cried, his voice trembling. “You couldn’t? Sookie I just found out that my girlfriend is a fucking serial killer; I do not know who you are, or what you are capable off. Except murder.” He cried and it made me cry harder.
“That’s not true! You know me, you know me better than anyone ever has. I… love -”
“Don’t say it, don’t you fucking dare say that right now. Was I next? I want to know!”
“You want to know? Okay, fine. You want to know… I want to know too – have you ever raped a woman Eric? Have you ever thought of fucking a child? Touching them like he touched me?”
“Jesus, Christ, no.”
“Then no.” I said calmly, turning my back on him to leave the pies on the cooling rubbed his eyes, the tears falling, and I wanted nothing more than to hold him then, and tell him that everything was going to be okay.
It would be a lie, but I couldn’t stand to see him like this.
“I don’t know what to do here, Sookie.”
I shut the oven off, screw the pies they were not calming me down as they usually did. I walked over to him, he tensed and it broke my heart.
Instead, I took his hand in mind and when he let me, it filled me full of hope.
“Sweetheart, you know what you have to do.”
He touched my face with his free hand, tucking my wayward hair behind my ear. A comforting and familiar gesture that just made it that much harder to be there with him in that moment.
“No.” he said.
“Yes. You know it, and I know it.”
He sniffled, “You could go, and I could say that you just weren’t here… or you got away from me…”
Desperation that is what was in his voice, he so desperately wanted to save me. I do not think I could have loved him any harder than I did in that moment.
I simply shook my head no. I knew our time was running out, he had no doubt called someone, probably Bill.
“I was never going to run, not from you.” I touched his face and he pushed into my touch a little more, “he was my end game, Eric, and I couldn’t do it he’s -”
“He’s dead, Sookie.”
“He’s… no that’s not… he was still breathing when…”
“He’s dead.” he said again.
I’d done it. My unfinished business was finally finished, the person that had cast a large looming shadow on my whole life, he was gone.
That was that then.
We stood there in silence for a while, both of us just allowing the gravity of the situation to actually sink in. I looked at the blood on my hands again and back to Eric. His gloves were gone, his gun back in his holster.
“Eric you know what you have to do.”
He shook his head no, like a child that didn’t want to give up his belief in Santa.
“I need you to do this.”
“I can’t. I love you and I won’t.”
I kissed him then, fully and full of all the love I’d felt for him. We just stood there, lost in our own little world, before I torn it all down.
“I love you, so much, Eric. I need you to know that, really know it. I never loved anyone my whole like the way I love you, and I never will again… I knew what I was doing, sweetheart, but in doing it I never wanted to bring you pain. And I know I have, and like the rest of it, I’ll just have to live with it… but I want you to be happy.”
“I want it for you, because you are such a good soul, a big hearted, wonderful man and you deserve someone who knows that.”
I kissed him again. Sniffing back my tears as he inhaled a shaky breath.
I reached around his side, I knew he thought I was going for his gun, but I wasn’t. I went for his cuffs.
“Now, do it.”
“You’re sure?” He asked me, still not letting me out of his grasp. ” I could still let you -”
“No. You would only fall into deeper shit, and besides, Eric it doesn’t matter where you run to or for how long, sooner or later you just keep bumping into yourself, and your past. I’m done running.”
He nodded, hugged me close, tight and hard, as he whispered, ” Susannah Stackhouse,” I closed my eyes, savouring how it felt to hear my real name, on his lips, “You have the right to remain silent.” he said quietly, and I sobbed then and he did his best to sniffle back his emotions to finish his job.
“Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, an attorney will be provided at no expense to you.” He hugged me closer, sliding my hands behind my back, and I felt the cold metal of the cuffs. “You have the right to not answer questions at any time and request an attorney be present before any questioning continues. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?”
I nodded yes.
“Say it.” he said, his pretty blue eyes rimmed red with emotion, for me.
“Yes, I understand.” The cuffs clicked into place and I stood before him as an arrested criminal, in his and he stood before me as a cop doing his job.
Just at that, Bill and six other officers burst through my apartment door. The shuffling and the noise quickly stopped when they saw how I was standing, who was with me, and I guess, who I was. I knew these guys. I’d waited on them all, daily for half a year.
Stunned was the word of the day judging by their faces.
“No need, Bill.” Eric said, “she’s complying.”
He nodded in silence, just as shocked to see the sight in front of him I imagined.
“Bill will you…”
I looked to Eric then. “I can’t be the one to do this, Sookie, I just can’t.”
I understood that. So I nodded.
“Thank you.” I said though my tears and he simply nodded in return as Bill and the other cops led me outside. No one said a word, not one, until I got to the station.
That was it, the nightmare was done. Now I had to pay for my crimes, just as those men had paid for theirs.
It was only right.
Blood on her hands, that was the first thing I’d noticed when I pushed her apartment door open, there she was standing there, minus the blood she would be the picture of normality. But there was blood, blood of the man that had ruined her, so long ago, and yet so recent. The man that I had finished off. It should have worried me that I felt no guilt over what I’d done to him, I’d done it because I loved her, and he had tormented her to the point that it made her mind snap. I knew she was a normal little girl once, as all little girls are. It’s the ways of the world that turn good people into murderers. I knew that much for certain on my job, and when it came to her I was even more sure of it. I longed to know if it was just those men and what they’d done that she was targeting, or was I in fact her next?
Her answer gave me chills, she wasn’t after me in that way, because I was a good man – if there was ever such a thing as a good man, I guess to her, I was it. For her I considered things that in my entire career as a cop, then as a detective, I’d never once let cross my mind. I was willing to let her go, willing to put my job and my reputation as a good clean cop on the line, for the woman I loved.
As she spoke, and hushed my doubts over her feelings for me, and if she had just fabricated the entire thing or not, I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and finally reassure her that everything would be okay now. But I couldn’t I knew I couldn’t and she knew it, too. Both my heart, and my brain were in conflict as I listened to her, watched her, and saw just how broken this woman truly was.
If I had to kill him all over again for eternality I felt like I would have, no second thoughts, if it gave her just a moments peace. Because Susannah Stackhouse struck me as a woman who had very little peace in her lifetime. I hated him all over again for that.
She deserved so much more. She deserved love, and happiness and fun and laughter, she deserved someone who loved her like I did, who could offer her that peace, that protection, that feeling of contentment that we all longed for.
I wanted to give her all those things, all those things and so much more… but I couldn’t. She had a brain in her head, and rejected my mad idea of letting her go on the run. It seems my Sookie had been running from herself and her past for a very long time, and she was simply tired of it.
As I kissed her, I wanted that memory to last me forever, how she felt, how she smelled, how she tasted. All of it, because I knew then, as she made me read her, her rights, that that was it for us. She had chosen her fate, and I guess I had chosen mind. My insides clenched as I watched Bill and the other guys lead her out of her apartment in the cuffs that I had placed on her hands.
It would be six months more before she and I spoke again.
Six of the longest months of my life.
A/N: Ah, I can’t begin to tell you how nervous this chapter made me, mostly because this is what made me want to write the story from the start. Also the main inspiration for this fic came in a song. Youtube – Mumford and Sons – Unfinished Business. It’s a cover, and it’s simply amazing. And the backstory to this baby. 😀 I love it.
Big thanks to MsBennett for beta’ing tonight so I could get this up xox