Rise By Sin 18

I rounded the corner quickly and closed the kitchen door behind me, before I knew it he was up against me, his hands on my skull tilting me toward his lips and kissing me fervently. He was still in his dress shirt and pants. He was still in his collar for goodness sakes. It shouldn’t have excited me as much as it did, but it did and then some. As soon as his hands were on me I felt those tiny shocks of electricity float through me again. The feeling was becoming addictive. Feeling his breathe on my neck suddenly made me bold. I reached down for his belt. The black leather slid open in my hands as I unbuckled the shiny silver claps. I felt his breathing pick up as he freed my other hand so I had both free to unbutton the shiny black buttons. the sound of his zipper echoed through the cold kitchen in the darkness. The only light illuminating us came from the full moon shining through the high windows. Shadows covered us and our ministrations. He moaned into my hair when I finally freed him from his restrictions. Fear took me over. What if I didn’t do it right? What if I hurt him? What if I was rubbish? What if he didn’t like it?

 

He must have sensed my hesitation because he asked me if I was ok, and I told him my worries.

 

“What if I…do it wrong?”

 

“Darlin’, you couldn’t do it wrong even if you tried. Just do what you feel you want to do…”

 

I kissed him then and whispered into his ear, “Show me?”

 

He hesitated so I said it again, stroking him hard once to make my point. “Show me what you like…”

 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, you know that right?” His sincerity was there in his eyes even if it was slightly clouded over with lust.

 

“I know, but you’ve been having such a …hard time lately.” The pun just wrote itself “And I want to…So, show me?” My voice was shaking, giving away the fact that I wasn’t as confident as I’d wanted to appear, I was curious, what can I say?

 

He exhaled loudly before he closed his eyes, putting his significantly larger hand over mind as he began to stroke himself. He sucked his bottom lip through his teeth and moaned gently when we reached the tip, dragging what little fluid had pooled there down his shaft with us. He felt smooth like velvet but hard under the surface- hot and throbbing all at once.

 

Apparently I was a quick learner since he let go after what felt like a few seconds of showing me his preferred direction and speed. Both his arms and hands framed my head leaning us against the door. I was engulfed in an Eric cocoon as both my hands explored his sex. His mouth delved to my mouth again. Slowly and deliberately, he sucked at my lips as I fondled and caressed him harder and faster in time with his rapid breath.

 

“That’s it…just…just like that. Jesus Sook…Don’t stop.” He began to pant between breaths that were blowing my hair out of my face.

 

This was new and interesting and completely addictive- the power I felt holding him in my hands. The reactions he gave to the things he was feeling, the pleasure he was feeling- it was all because of me. I was the one in control this time, and going from having zero control over any aspect of my life, to having all the control felt… electrifying. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t ashamed. I felt alive. Running my hands down the slight line of dirty blonde hair that led from his bellybutton as one hand concentrated on making him feel good the other I slid under to cup and massage him further.

 

I stroked a little harder to see how he’d react, and boy did he. Both his hands slapped back against the door on either side of my head as he mumbled something under his breath at me. Then his hands slid down my neck caressing the back of it. Then his hands moved to my breasts as I sped up. Suddenly, he stilled.

 

“Sookie stop…I’m gonna co-”

 

I felt him swell in my hand and suddenly, the pooling of fluid increased when he came. I couldn’t stop myself; I kept on stoking him until it stopped. He’d held his breath only to let it out again in short panting sounds. Even in the dimly lit kitchen I could tell his face was flushed.

 

I giggled and I didn’t mean to. It was just so funny to me. A man could be completely undone by a simple touch. Fascinating really.

 

“What’s so funny?” He looked hurt and vaguely self conscious at my laughing. I had to make him know it wasn’t really what he did that made me laugh- it was what I caused him to do.

 

“No…I’m not laughing at you…I’m just laughing.” I tried to stop giggling but I couldn’t.

 

He made a slight ‘tut’ noise at me before kissing me again. This time he yanked up my nightdress around my waist and slid between my legs against the heavy door.

 

“What are you doing?” I asked as his lips attacked my neck again.

 

“Making you feel as good as you made me feel just now, of course.”

 

“No I…” Panic that’s all washed over me, could I let him touch me like this?

 

“It doesn’t hurt…I don’t think? I’ll be gentle I promise, I just want to make you feel as good as you did me…that’s fair right?”

 

I felt his fingers slip up my thigh as he outlined with one finger the shape of my lower lips. My breath hitched as I realised where he was headed. I panicked completely just as he was within reach of my most sacred place.

 

“We can’t not now.” My hand reached to stall his.

 

“You don’t want to?” The look of disappointment was clear on his face. I didn’t want to not do it, but the stupid fear was crippling my ability to just let him touch me.

 

“No…I do. We just don’t have time. Look.” I pointed out the window. The first signs of the sun rise was breaking through. We both knew what that meant.

 

He breathed a sigh of defeat. “Sister Agnes is on kitchen duty this morning isn’t she?”

 

I nodded as he moved back from me, putting my underwear to rights and fixing my nightgown for me before he kissed me on the lips once again. God, I loved his kisses. We fell into a sort of snuggle session as his legs just gave out on us, and he slid us both to the floor. We stayed silent, just taking in each others heart beats before he began caressing me again, I knew his game. Eric was not selfish and it probably killed him that he couldn’t return the ‘favour,’ but I had to remind him again we just didn’t have time.

 

“Come back to my room with me then.” He suggested with a cheeky grin on his face. It earned him a slap on the arm as I heard him zip himself up.

 

“You know I can’t do that.”

 

He nodded more so to himself than me. “I know, and it sucks. I feel so …selfish right now.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you did something for me that felt…Christ, so amazing, and I can’t return the favour like I want to.” He pressed his lips to my temple gently as I blushed. Yeah, I just brought him to bliss with my hands and I was blushing now? I was weird.

 

I kissed him again “Goodnight Eric.”

 

“Good morning, Sookie.” He smiled kissing me fast again, “I love you.”

 

That never failed to bring a grin to my face, “I love you too. Now, go.”

 

“But…”

 

“Go!”

 

He kissed me again and again fast and funny laying small pecks all around my face grinning like an idiot. We both were.

 

I took a much needed deep breath when he slipped out the door first. I switched on the lights and washed my hands. It was fun, but it had sticky consequences.

 

Try as I might to push the guilty thoughts from my mind, I failed. I wanted to refuse becoming a slave to guilt like I had all my life, to rebel against the conditioning that I’d received- and really that’s what it was when you think about it- mental conditioning, to feel guilty about ones sexual desires, which were just as much a part of us as hunger and pain and happiness. We’re just told to feed our appetite for food, but not our desire for sex or love? Sadly in the attempts to rid myself of guilt I ended up angry; angry at them, angry at myself. I didn’t want to feel those things. Why I couldn’t just relax and focus on the happy was beyond me.

 

I’d rounded the corner from the kitchen door to the exit that led to the cells, when I ran smack into Bill.

 

Bill. Oh God.

 

“Sookie? What are doing out of bed so…late? Or early, however you look at it. What are you doing here?””I …”He was fully dressed, minus his shoes. It’s why I probably ran smack into him. Heelless Bill was as silent as the grave it seemed.

 

“Yes?

 

“I…couldn’t sleep so I came down to get some water. I…drank it in the kitchen so’s I wouldn’t spill it…I feel better now.”

 

How easily the lies flowed off my tongue scared me just a smidge. I wanted to question his presence but I knew if I did, it would only land me in more trouble than it was worth, and probably cause him to retaliate and ask more questions.

 

Instead he simply nodded, taking in my state of undress as he did so. I’d forgotten in my rush to clean myself up that I was in nothing but my nightgown. The way his eyes roamed over my body made me want to act on instinct and cover myself up, even though I was fully clothed. The shiver it elicited from my spine was completely the opposite of how it felt when I knew Eric was looking at me.

 

There was so much difference.

 

“Well if that’s all…”

 

“Oh, yes of course return to your room. Good day.” He answered stiffly, and I hated to imagine why.

 

EPOV: Jesus Holy Christ, did that actually happen? I mean I think it did, it sure felt like it did, but did it? Wow.

 

I’d been waiting to see her all evening, but with one thing and another I knew I’d have some work to get finalised before Niall would be due back. I didn’t want him to think I’d been slacking in his absence. No matter what I’d chosen to get up to in my free time, I still owed him my work.

 

I’d noted that as usual, all the Sisters turned in early. All but one. Geraldine was too busy doing God knows what in her office, coming and going with cups of tea to and from the kitchen. I knew Sookie knew this, which is why she was a no-show. I faked interest in reading, in the kitchen of all places, trying my best to wait her out.

 

She looked at me strangely when she said she was off for the night, and wondered why I was still awake, and reading …in the kitchen. I had to think quick on my feet to tell her the lights in my room were just not bright enough, and I was happy where I was for the time being.

 

Lame? Oh, completely. But thankfully she just rolled her eyes before I even finished talking, the old cow.

 

I’d waited well over the usual time for Sookie to arrive, thinking with every passing minute that maybe she’d changed her mind about meeting me, maybe even changing her mind about what we were doing and not thinking about it – altogether?

 

Just when I really was about to give up for the night, I’d closed my book and shut off the lights in my bid to haul my rejected ass to bed, I heard her footsteps shuffling in hall. I breathed a sigh of relief that she’d shown up. It meant, at the very least, she was still ok with us …doing whatever it was we were doing.

 

I surprised her. I knew by the shocked yelp she let out as I cornered her the second she came through the door. Even in the dark I was enveloped in her sent, maybe even more so because it was so dark. My mouth found hers on instinct. I’d only been apart from her for a few hours in the day, and I already knew I missed her so much. I knew that when Niall got back our alone time would be seriously cut. It was going to be hell not being able to see her like this.

 

We made out fast and furious like we always did at first. Her hands got more and more bold with each night that passed, I’d noticed. Not that I was complaining in the least. I loved that she felt safe enough with me to want to take charge. However this amount of take charge was …surprising. Previously her hands had ventured under my shirt. She liked to lightly touch my stomach with the tips of her fingers, or her nails. They’d either be there or caressing my sides. Tonight, though, she took it a big step further.

 

At first when she reached for my belt I thought I was imagining it. I didn’t expect her to do it. I didn’t really expect anything from her other than kissing her to death like we’d always done. But over the course of the two weeks or so that we’d been making out on a regular basis, she’d commented once or twice on how…excited I got. At first I think it scared her, and that was the last thing I wanted. I tried to explain to her that it didn’t mean anything other than I was attracted to her. She knew anatomy like the rest of us, and like the rest of us, she was taught that indulging in ones wants was a sin- a great sin. But she seemed curious. Sookie was always curious about things. I expected this would be no different. I was nervous though. I’d only ever been with Sophie, and while she had assured me that my erm, size, was nothing to worry about -she mentioned something about it being painful for even her…and she was…she was well oiled when it came to sex and men. Sookie, on the other hand, was completely untouched. I worried that I might freak her out. All thoughts were abolished, of course, when she un-looped my belt, unbuttoned my buttons with the slowest ease. All the while I just kept reminding myself to breathe.

 

When she unzipped me, I could see her hands shaking but she was doing an amazing job of hiding it. She reaching into my underwear, her soft small hand gripping me to freedom. Her eyes widened for a second before I lost all control and had to kiss her. I felt her hand feather light against my cock, losing the tight grip she’d started with. She broke our kiss, looked me straight in the eye and asked me to ‘show her’ what I liked.

 

It took all my willpower not to just blow my load right there and then. Who was this girl, and where had she stashed my Sookie? I thought for all of a second about stopping, but I didn’t. Instead I placed my hand over her small one, and showed her exactly what I liked, and how I liked it. It was intense. She was so concentrated, as if it was a lesson in class that she would be tested on. I showed her my preferred way and within seconds she’d taken over. Letting go and letting her do what she wanted caused me to get a little light-headed. The touch of a woman there wasn’t something I’d gotten all that used to, even when Sophie was around. She and I were never big on the intimate touching so much as the emotionless fucking.

 

Sookie, was completely different, and for good reason. I wanted more with her. In all honestly, I wanted everything with her. She latched her lips onto my neck and kissed me as she slid her now pre-cum covered hand over my dick and back again. I did my best to hold back,but then she started to kiss up my neck to my ear, and that was it. Once she let my hands roam her body…I landed on her breasts, only to realise she was in her nightgown, sans bra. My breathing halted as my thumbs slid over her pebbled nipples. I was a goner as soon as that moan left her mouth.

 

I hadn’t meant to. I’d tried to warn her, but she didn’t listen. In fact if anything she just did it harder. My heart stopped. My legs went slightly wobbly. There were stars behind my eyes as I spilled my load onto her hand.

 

I felt like an asshole. This wasn’t how it was meant to be.

 

Then she started laughing and my world tilted back to reality again. Was she laughing at me? Oh my God was she laughing at my …prowess or lack there of in the control department?

 

She assured me she wasn’t, but I wasn’t so sure. And the caveman in me just couldn’t allow for that possibility. I wanted to show her how good I could make her feel. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to taste her. All of her. When I slid my fingers cross her panties, Christ, I felt just how wet she was and I wanted nothing more than to lick and suck her to a mind blowing orgasm. It was the least I could do.

 

Only that’s not what she wanted. I saw the fear in her eyes. She wasn’t ready…as disappointing as that was, I respected her choice. Tonight had already been a huge step for her, though I couldn’t help but feel like a selfish prick for taking…and not giving back. It’s always better to give than receive, or so they say. Clearly whoever ‘they’ are never had Sookie Stackhouse give them a hand job.

 

I scooted to the floor- my jelly legs thanking me for sitting down for a second- and just held her close to me. I loved how she curled up in my lap, just resting her head on chest. When I attempted again to …handle her arousal like she had done mine, she hit me with the smack down and a cheeky grin before scooting me out of the kitchen. She was right,-our impromptu snuggle had left us with little time, and Agnes was always up before dawn on her kitchen days. Sookie knew her routine.

 

I didn’t want to leave her, far from it. I wanted to carry her right into my room, lock the door and stay there for days just exploring her. But, sadly that wasn’t to be. She kissed me goodnight as I kissed her good morning. With that I went off to have the best 3 hours sleep of my life.

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