Here we are again, a little later than I wanted, but with this magical sudden flu I’ve taken writing became a somewhat of a bother this week. The screen was wonky when I’d look at it, so I wrote as little as possible and still managed to get this finished! A Southern Belles update for everyone! Enjoy! 😀 Let me know what your thoughts are, encouraged as always! xox
I woke up very sore, very tired, but the also the happiest I’d remembered being in a really long time. I looked around the large opulent blue and white bedroom of the absurdly overpriced suite that we’d taken over for the night, and it looked like – much like the entire place was now – a mess.
It was mess because we decided we needed to get our money’s worth, and proceeded to christen every available surface (and a few not so easy access) until we just about passed out. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday night, I had to admit.
The room was dimly lit, and I knew it was still relatively early. My partner in room wrecking was still passed out by my side, his arms wrapped loosely around me, a soft hum issuing from him as he breathed deep in his sleep. I took a minute to just appreciate him laying there next to me, content and peaceful, a goofy, happy look on his face even in his sleep. I’d never gotten to do that before. Before, it was tense and wrong, and everything was rushed and full of guilt. Not this time though; this time everything was different, including he and I. We’d grown up more, we’d experienced more – at least I knew I had. And grown up me knew what she had this time, and she knew she wasn’t about to let it slip through her fingers.
I untangled myself from him, my bladder being the bitch that was taking me from my heat and comfort at just after seven am. Needs met, I allowed myself to slip back into the giant bed with him still sound to the world. I had spent a lot of my life unsure of a lot of things. I mean, who really walks around all day knowing everything they’re doing is right and knowing just exactly where they’re going, no, not even physics knew that shit – not really. I’d also spend a good deal of that time beating myself up about the not knowing, and over the past year, almost two, I’d become better at just accepting the flaws, accepting the unknown, and more than that, I was embracing it. One thing I wasn’t willing to embrace though, was the unknown where Eric and I were concerned. I was taking charge of that area of my life, and I was on a mission to make sure it worked, to give us the shot that I’d talked about. Realistically, I knew that not all love is forever, not all relationships are the ‘right’ ones, but I was sure I wanted to try and take what we had and build it up. It had the potential to be something beautiful, if we did it right this time, and I thought we could. I thought, if we applied it, brick by brick we could have a castle of a relationship, one sturdy enough to endure any storm.
“Do I have drool on my face?” he asked, his voice deep and croaky as he woke up, pulling me closer to him.
“You’re … staring?” he smiled.
“I’m not … I was just looking, just thinking.”
He smiled again, his eyes closing slowly, “Mmm, lots to think about.”
“Happy thoughts, though.”
He chuckled, kissing me on top of my head and wrapping the quilt around us both. “Yes, lots of very happy thoughts … most of which are about last night.”
“Yeah, just FYI, you’re going to have to carry me out of here … my legs just gave up. They can’t take any more.”
“Wore you out, huh?”
“Something like that. I mean I’m not sayin’ I didn’t notice how drained you were after either, or how soundly you just passed out. I’ve got skills of my own, you know,” I said, an air of false sharpness to my tone, he just smiled and faced me.
“Yes Ma’am you do, no arguments here…”
“Don’t call me Ma’am, my Grandmother is ‘Ma’am.’”
“How is she anyway?”
“She’s good. We call each other a couple of times a week, usually on a Sunday and a Wednesday just to catch up. Same old, same old back home from all accounts.”
“But health wise, she’s good?”
“I think so. You know Gran, she’s a proud woman, so I doubt I’d hear from her even if she was having problems. I know she keeps a lot from me, and I censor a lot from her too I guess. We’re not lying, we just like to keep the time we do talk to be … nice, pleasant, and that usually means we don’t bring up my mother, or Alcide, or anything that happened before I left,” I sighed, snuggling closer to him, laying my head on his chest. I realized that I’d missed that feeling, missed the solid, quiet thuds coming from his heart. It was a comforting sound, one I’d never realized I loved before.
“That’s good in a way, that you guys still talk. I’m glad she didn’t shun you, a lot of older people would have freaked out on their grandkids doing all that.”
“True, but hey, my Gran is more hip than my own mother, or father for that matter. She likes things just so, but she’s no fool to think the world works in ways other than her ideal. She was oddly okay with me leaving Alcide. I didn’t tell her why though, that was whole other can of worms.”
“And his worms at that.”
“Exactly, I love my Gran, but she’s the biggest gossip I know, including Maxine Fortenberry! And, had I told her, I knew the whole state would know, and it wasn’t my secret to tell. It was, and is, his.”
“I don’t think he’ll ever come out … how he was raised … I mean, I had thought that he might be … curious? Given how he behaved, but never in a million years did I ever thing that he-”
“Me either…” I sighed. “I don’t wanna talk about him, not right now … not here.”
“Too weird?” he asked, making a funny face at me.
“No, not weird, I mean, I’m over it. I just … he’s the past, and I don’t want that tainting what we’ve got right now. Let’s just enjoy the peace.”
“Why last night?” he asked, looking at me again.
“Why what last night? We did a lot of what’s last night,” I smiled.
“Why tell me what you told me, last night…”
“Well, I guess I could say that it just happened there and then, but it didn’t. I’d planned on confronting you, hashing it all out, saying my piece … all that jazz.”
“But I lost my nerve, when I walked in and saw you chatting up that blonde-”
“I wasn’t chatting her up I was just-”
“I know, I mean, I didn’t know. From where I was standing it looked like some serious flirting and touching, and I … was sort of insanely jealous.” I looked as sheepish as I sounded as I rambled, but I didn’t care. “And, well, I faked small talk for a while, all the while internally beating myself up for feeling jealous when I had no real right to. I didn’t own you, we weren’t anything that I had the right to feel protective over, but I wanted it. I wanted something with you that gave me the right to feel threatened by if I saw you chat up some hot chick.”
“You logic is-”
“Crazy, yes, I know,” I sighed. “So, I found my balls somewhere between talking to Bella and my fourth shot.” I smiled. “And the rest you know because you were there.”
“So do you feel like you own me now?” he asked, an evil glint in his eye. “Have you claimed ownership? Am I yours?”
I smirked, “Hmm, I don’t know. I think somewhere between the chorus of ‘Oh my God’s’ and ‘it was never like this with anyone else, Sookie’ I think maybe I have a good shot.”
He rolled his eyes. “You can’t take what I say mid orgasm for any sort of leverage!”
“Well, if that’s the case then you think I’m God,” he smiled, smugly, and I just elbowed him in the ribs gently. We laid there, just silently enjoying the quiet for a while before he spoke again, “Sookie?”
“We still have some stuff to work out here.”
We did, I knew that.
“Like how you want to settle in one place and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that?”
I slid on top of him then, straddling his waist to look him fully in the eye, and maybe to enjoy my position, too.
“I like it here, and I like it here a lot more today than I did yesterday,” I said, letting him take my hands and hold them. “I want to see a few more places that are on my bucket list. I don’t know if I want to work there, or just be a tourist … I don’t know.”
“What do you know?” he asked quietly, sweetly kissing my knuckles.
“I know that I don’t want to give you up again, that’s what I know. I know that I want to be with you, but I don’t want to feel the pressure to plot out our relationship like I felt all the times before. I know I want to try and make this work more than anything, and maybe the bucket list countries don’t have to be explored tomorrow, or next week, and maybe I can just enjoy this for what it is?”
“I don’t want to hold you back. The idea that you might resent me in someway because of that … Sookie that’s the last thing I’d ever-”
“I know that. And see, that’s where things are different too, I know that. I know you would let me go if I decided to go, and I know that I’d regret that, because I realized that I do want to see the world, but I want to see it with you.”
“I would encourage you, whatever way you want to phrase it, because I would. I don’t want to hold you back, but I’d regret doing it too. I’d regret it because then you’d be there and I’d be here… and I did that before, I walked out of room with you in it before, we made those mistakes before. I don’t want to make those mistakes again.”
“There are always vacations, trains to other parts of Europe. Maybe we can convince Lafayette we need to do a piece in Italy…”
“But if you want to live-”
“Right now I’m really good right where I am. Maybe not in this super overly expensive suite, but you know.”
He laughed, “And, Lafayette has been talking about expansions in the magazine, so who knows, he might just go for it.”
“So what does this mean? Does this mean… we’re good?”
“I think it’s a start…” he said before he pulled my hands down, bringing me close enough to kiss him. And he was right, it was a start, it was start of something really amazing.
About time, right?
“Yes, Gran I know, and yes I am being good with that. There are no less than 4 vegetables on my plate at dinner, as always.” She rolled her eyes at me and smiled as I came through the door as she was mid conversation with her Gran. I pecked her on the cheek and proceeded to shrug off my jacket and kick off my shoes by the hall closet.
“Yeah Gran, that was Eric, he’s just home… oh, he’s good… you know…” she looked over to me and winked. I couldn’t contain my smile. I loved how she made the most innocent comments filthy with just a look in my direction.
“No, work’s been good, really good actually. We’re in Greece right now, remember I told you…” She walked into the bedroom, and I walked into the tiny kitchenette of our hotel room. She was cooking pasta and some sauce that smelled amazing. I noticed chicken browning away too, I was starving.
“No I know, well, I get a vacation week in about a month so I can come then. I know, I miss you too Gran… I know…” she looked at me then, sadness in her eyes. This is how the calls always went lately, they started off happy, full of news and just general gossiping and then her Gran turned melancholy, rubbing off on Sookie ten fold. I let them finish their conversation in private as I went and started a shower, only to hear the bathroom door a few minutes later.
“Your Gran okay?” I asked and I saw her drop down the toilet seat and sit. She sighed.
“No, it’s been getting worse and worse… she’s been really forgetful Eric, and I’m noticing it more and more in the calls every week. I just… she starts fine, but it seems the more we talk the more confused she gets. I don’t … I don’t like it,” she said, biting back her tears.
I wiped the suds off my face and opened the glass doors fully so we wouldn’t have to yell.
“Come ‘ere,” I said, putting my hand out for hers, she took it and stepped into the shower with me. Shedding her soaking tank top and sleep shorts into a sopping mess on the floor before she almost tackled me for a cuddle, and then her own tears started.
“Come on, come here…” I said as gently as I could, holding her as tight as I could, to hopefully give her some sense of reassurance.
“I just don’t know what to do. My Dad said in his email that she’s been fine, a little forgetful, but fine.”
“See, that’s good, right?”
“My dad lies to make me feel better, always has. He did it for years with him and Mom. Things were falling apart at the seams and he was still ‘fine,’ so I don’t believe him, and talking to her just confirms it,” she sobbed.
I held her for a minute or two; just keeping us both warm under the stream of hot water. The jet stream in Greece, we discovered, kind of sucked. We’d been travelling for about seven months. Both of us playing journalist too for Lafayette and his ever expanding magazines – magazines plural because he’d now gotten two. A travel magazine for, believe it or not, travel enthusiasts, and the regular lifestyle magazine still based in Monaco. He was in talks for a third in the states, too. Sookie and I had been doing our thing all over the place for almost eight months by the time we landed in Greece, and it had been the most insanely blissful time of my life – and I think for her too. At least, I hope for her too. Thinks started off a little awkwardly, neither of us knowing how to handle our new found status, but trying our hardest to make it as smooth as possible. Our first ‘official’ date, I’d cooked, and she brought dessert, we talked and then we sexed. Both of us, still so surprised by just how normal it all felt. There was no angst, no guilt and no worrying that anyone was going to find out, or get hurt. After that, we managed to relax a lot more, so much so – to the point where even Alexei was complaining how annoyingly cute we were. We’d become one of those couples; you know the kind of sickening in love couples that make all single people sick and envious all at once? I knew we were because I’d been one of those single people for long enough to recognise what we’d become, and you know what? I didn’t give a single fuck what anyone else thought. I’d waited a long time to feel this secure with someone, and I’d waited long enough for Sookie to come back into my life that once I had it, I wasn’t hiding it from anyone or anything.
I pulled away from her slightly to look her in the eye, “you going to be okay?”
She nodded, “I’m sorry, I just … it just hit me, you know? She’s old, and old people die, and that means she’s gonna die soon. I never thought about it like that before. How dumb does that sound?”
“It’s not. She’s your parent, she’s your grandmother. She’s always been there, and it’s only natural that you just think she always will be there. Nothing wrong with that, Sook.”
She nodded, wiping her tears away rather pointlessly since she was under the shower of warm water anyway. She kissed me then, and I could almost taste the salt from her tears, making me want to comfort her as much as I could. Before we got too hot and heavy though the damn smoke alarm went off causing us both to jump.
“Fuck, the fucking chicken!” she said, breaking away from me and grabbing a towel before she ran out of the bathroom, killing the moment in the process, but I guess that was miles better than killing us.
By the time I got out of the shower she was standing there, dripping all over the floor, burnt chicken on the stove, her blue towel wrapped around her tan, wet body.
“I ruined the chicken…” she pouted.
“Technically, the oven did, but… it’s fine.”
“I suck today. First I dropped the lens and smashed it, costing us a thousand damn dollars, and then my Gran, and then this… I just… I just… suck.”
I chuckled, dragging her gently to the couch. “You don’t suck, and when you do – not for nothing, but it’s awesome and feels really good and honestly you should suck more oft-” she hit me on the arm, but smiled.
“I’m not so sure about the sucking there… I don’t think it’s my thing…”
“No, you’re right, I’ve already had one guy that was obsessed with things in his asshole, I’m glad you’re not going down that alley…so to speak,” she smirked. It was good that she could make jokes.
“Come on, Sook, relax. The day is over, tomorrow … it’s a whole new day for a bunch of other shit to go wrong.”
“Have you ever thought about motivational speaking? Really, you have an untapped talent!”
I kissed her then, yanking away her towel.
“It’s not exactly needed…” I said, unhooking my own before we found ourselves in a familiar position on the couch.
“But dinner … Its …”
“I’d rather have you.”
She laughed a real hearty laugh, the one I loved to make happen.
“Look at you tryin’ to sound all suave!”
“Excuse you, trying?”
Still laughing, she shook her head, “You’re right, I’m sorry … you’re practically James Bond, please continue.”
“James Bond huh, I figured I was more like Rhett,” I laughed, knowing how she hated being compared to Scarlett, and knowing just how much I loved to do it to her.
She rolled her eyes as predicted. “Still on that, I see.”
“Why yes, Miss Scarlett, I am.”
“Come on darlin’ it’s funny.”
“It was funny the first ten times, the nine thousand after? Not so much.”
“Whatever you say, Dear…” I kissed her again but she pulled away, a worried look on her face.
“I’m really not like her, not now. I know I made the wrong choices before, and for the wrong reasons, but I think I fixed that with-”
“Hey… hey…” I held her cheek so she’d look at me. “It’s a joke, that’s all. I promise no ill intent or underlying meaning, okay?”
“Frankly my Dear I do give a damn, so yes, I know it’s just a joke.”
She rolled her eyes again but ran her fingers up and down my arm in the process. “Good, because Scarlett screwed a lot of shit up and never tried to fix it.”
I nodded. “I like to think she and Rhett patched things up eventually … maybe he came around.”
“Nah…” she sighed. “Personally I always hoped he realized that Belle loved him like he should have been loved all along and went back to her, begged forgiveness for not loving her right away, and they lived fantastically ever after.”
“And of Scarlett?”
She shrugged. “I hope she found peace somewhere. She always did seem highly strung,” she laughed, kissing me again, this time letting her hands wander, and I let her, with pleasure.
Talk of Scarlett died down when we decided to take advantage of being wet and naked, and I carried her to our bedroom to get down to business. I loved getting down to business with her. We’d established a rhythm early on. Of course like any couple there were the times when sexy wasn’t back and all we wanted to do was pass out and be grumpy, but we made a conscious effort where our sex life was concerned. We both enjoyed it too much to want to take it for granted, and eight months in I was happy to say no rut had been fallen into, and we were still enjoying discovering new things about each other; something I really hoped we wouldn’t lose.
“Not there, there…” she said, shifting herself slightly on top of me, holding the headboard over my head for leverage. “Ah … ah … yes … I…”
“There?” I smiled, knowing where I’d hit and just how I’d hit it. Her breathing got faster, and her rhythm got more frantic, and that’s when I intervened deliberately to slow her down.
“No … faster … I’m almost…”
“No …” I said, knowing that that turned her on even more. She got mad, then she got hot, then she’d come. She didn’t realize I knew this of course, but I could play her like a fiddle, and this was one of those times. Instead of letting her come, I flipped us up and over, landing her with a thud on our pillows, still riding her slowly, never once pulling out. I knew it had to be hell for her, being so, so, close and no cigar. I hid my smirk in her neck as I kissed her gently, my own breath as laboured as hers, still fucking her excruciatingly slowly.
“I hate you … you always do-”
Before she could finish I switched my pace, fucking her harder and faster than before, making her boobs do that amazing bounce thing they did that I found very pleasant indeed.
“Jesus Christ … Oh God! OH GOD!” she screamed, and I tried to keep myself together as her nails dug into my back, into my hair, onto the sheets, basically anything she could try and hold on to she did, as I fucked her through her orgasm and into my own. With no housemates to worry about we could be as loud and as proud as we wanted, and both of us were certainly that, and often.
Finding my breath, I pulled out of her as gentle as I could. We were both spent and happy. Her skin was flushed red, her eyes glazed and happy, and her hair … well her hair was certainly ‘sexed,’ or it went through a hurricane, either way, she looked happy.
“Mmmmm,” she said, probably mostly to herself. “I love that feeling.”
“Of you, inside me … there with me as we do that, as we come, it’s sort of beautiful.”
“Post-orgasm you, is a whimsical you, huh?”
She smiled, her eyes still closed. “I don’t care, I just like it.”
“I like it too,” I whispered, pulling her softly to my chest, both of us still in a jelly like state.
“I wanna like it forever, can we like it forever?” she sighed, half asleep, and I know she didn’t mean it literally … mainly because no one lives forever. But I took it as, as literal as I could. Could we really go like this for as long as we could? What would forever mean for us? We never talked about changing our relationship, mostly because we were both happier than we’d ever been with the way things had turned out. Neither of us were really willing to ‘jinx’ anything by changing anything. But, it got me thinking as I drifted off to sleep that night. What would the future hold for us? Would she want to get married again? Would I? I’d never been married. I never thought I’d find someone that I’d want to spend that much time with, but I think that I’d found her and now I just didn’t know what to do with it all. I didn’t want to jinx anything, but at the same time I didn’t want to invalidate my love for her by running away from the big stuff. Kids was another thing. I never thought about kids before, with any of the women I’d been with. The most I’d thought about that subject would be if I’d been with other women and I wished so hard right then and there that she wasn’t pregnant, but now, now things were polar opposites of how they were for me. Would I want kids? Would she? What if we disagreed? What if it was a huge deal and neither of us could get past it? And that right there is how I managed to cock-block my own post-orgasm bliss, by ‘what-iffing’ myself to death. Sometimes I really fucking hated my brain. I knew the questions would be answered, but the real question was could I handle the answers?