When I start typing at 3am…
Inspiration, it’s a really funny thing. I don’t know where it comes from for certain things; everything needs a little inspiration sometimes, to make things better, to make things genius. But where the hell does it come from? I’d like to know the answer to that, mainly because right now I’m seriously lacking in some much needed inspiration. Logically I can sit down and equate it to being busy, being really, really run down, stressful personal life… and yet I still just hope like something out of a cartoon inspiration will ‘strike’ and I’ll run around like a cat on speed and fix everything that needs fixing, and do everything that needs doing, and write everything that needs writing. I say ‘needs’ because I don’t know about you, but when I get an idea for something in my head, it’s like it’s in a little box, in there, just banging on it constantly to get out. And then when I write it, I swear I’m like a bulimic after thanksgiving, I just need to get it out there, get it posted, get it purged. Lately I’ve become a little ‘blah’ about writing, and I hate that I’ve become so. Yes, yes, it’s just fic, and yes I’m not getting paid so it really shouldn’t ‘matter’, but really this is my hobby of sorts (one of many, but still an important one) and I love it. Or I did love it. I think maybe my ideas are too safe, my chapters are too safe, and I’m not purging the way I want to be (to carry on that rather politically incorrect metaphor for a second).
One of the most fun stories I wrote was California Bound, and I think it’s because it was one part poking fun at society and the celebrity culture we live and breathe, and another part creating a layered relationship. I kind of hope I achieve it, with that one if not with the others, because it is my favourite… if I had to pick one, solely based on how much fun I had poking at…ahem ‘celebrities’. I’m a sarcastic, hyperbolic, over-caffeinated fool at times and I got to showcase it there…I don’t think I’m showing much of my personality in the recent chapters of things. As I said, I’m ‘Meh’ about them I’d like to be un-Meh and hopefully when the madness of Christmas is over, the Meh-ness (totally a word, right?) will fade and I’ll be back to having good reads for you to …you know… read.
People say it all the time, fic writers say it all the time as well, that the readers and the reviews matter because they’re a boost of sorts. And it’s true they are! We write for free, and it takes time to plot and string together the words that hopefully make a readable, relatable story for everyone, and reviews are sadly the only way that we know what works…and what doesn’t. For some people it’s a numbers game from start to finish, and for other and for me, I’d rather a tiny connection than a throw away comment. Communicate, conversate! But it’s a hobby to read and who wants to sit and be like ‘well I thought this worked well, this sucked, this was meh, that was great’ about every chapter? I wouldn’t, and I don’t blame people who don’t either, but my Kingdom for a happy medium one day!
This ramble was brought to you by the lovely people at Diet Coke, and 3.21am Irish time.