Chapter 29, how in the hell have I got 29 chapters of this thing?! Oh, well here we are, and it’s an all Eric POV this chapter and almost as long as the last one but not just! 7000words is just too long in one sitting per chapter, I won’t put you all through that again! O.0 But enjoy and review if you did! Love CA! xox
I hung up the phone and turned to Lafayette as we both reached the café and took our seats inside, the cold November chill hitting New York relentlessly. Everything felt different there than it did in Louisiana, the weather being no exception.
“Did I hear you right? She’s with Alcide?” he asked. And I just nodded, aiming for the menu.
“And you don’t think that’s…weird?”
“No, I mean… I guess it is and it isn’t. We’re good, you know? And I trust her completely, and he’s still very gay.”
I sighed, not really wanting to get into it again but knowing he wouldn’t let it drop until I did, either.
“It’s just… I hear them together all that shit that we went through, all those months and months of self inflicted misery come back to me, and I hate that feeling. I hate being insecure, because I know logically at least I have no real reason to, she loves me.”
“But you still feel it? Maybe because you two haven’t really settled down yet. Everything with you guys seemed very casual.”
I raised my brows at him, unsure of what he meant.
“I don’t mean the emotions, no, it’s obvious you guys are nuts for each other,” he smiled, “I just mean where things are going. I’ve had conversations with Sookie where it seemed like she never wanted to get married again, she’d been there, done that, and I’ve had conversations with you where it’s pretty obvious you want to be there and you want to do that – with her.”
I stayed silent and let him continue, “and there’s an obvious question that needs asking and it’s not been asked or even addressed as far as I can tell.”
“I never thought I’d want it, you know? With anyone, it always scared me, the idea of being tied legally and emotionally to something? Kids…It was always my worst fear.”
“And then she came along?”
“Yeah, something like that. I think I realized it for real when I watched her walk up that aisle to him, and I wished harder than anything that she’d been walking towards me, and she wasn’t.”
He sipped his water and took in what I’d said before he rolled his eyes “Y’all are so fucking dramatic, honestly, how is there not a movie based on your love?”
“Honestly, Eric, it’s not hard. You love each other, clearly, and yeah shit gets in the way, but you both found this chance and if it’s what you want, I say go for it.”
“I can’t, she’s been there, and she’s done that. And, I don’t blame her for not wanting to go there with us; we’re fine as we are, really. We haven’t even been together officially for a year yet, and a lot has happened in this eleven months dude, I’d be happy with a busy life with her just as we are too. I’m not saying I need a big white wedding, I’m not a girl…”
“Ah yes, but unofficially you’ve been in love with this girl for years now, and she with you by all accounts, and that love survived other relationships, distance, and a lot of time, that has to stand for something more than most, Eric. And no, if any of us is having that big white wedding it’ll be me,” he cocked his brows, “but I think you need a little something from her, to prove maybe that you’re in there now” me motioned to his heart, “and that you belong…”
I smiled, he was right, he was so right.
“I’m just saying, talk it out. You want that girl as your wife or even just a fabalush fiancé? You look at her and she takes that fear away? There’s just one question you need to ask her…”
I shook my head at his subtle as a brick pushing. “It won’t be happening, at least not while you’re keeping me chained to that camera here, when she’s there.” I dug into my steak, hoping he’d lay off, and for a time he did as we discussed work and him and his relationship for a change. I was thankful for the distraction because after that it was just me, alone in an apartment paid for by the magazine, alone, did I mention alone? Because I was, and it sucked, and so I did what I told Sookie I was going to do – I crashed, only to be woken up by my alarm on my phone at five the next morning.
Awesome, more pissed off, hungry, angry and high models to deal with before breakfast.
It was my last night shoot for at least two weeks; I was on the first flight out of JFK the next morning and I’d soon be wrapping myself in the arms of my Sookie, it sounded like utter heaven. For the time being I was in a warehouse, surrounded by managers, agents, stylists, and lights lots and lots of very hot lights. The theme of the second shoot was hunger, and it took forever because of the props, I had such a love hate relationship with props throughout my career, always in the way, but sometimes they just made the shot a thousand times better. By the time six pm rolled around I was just happy to be cutting loose, I just wanted to order takeout and stream some mind numbing movie before I went to sleep, that sounded good. Boring, but good. I liked boring, sometimes when you were really tired, and wanted to be somewhere else, boring was the best choice.
I wasn’t allowed to indulge in my evening of walking around naked and eating my body weight in New York City pizza, no, instead I had to be social and drop by Lafayette’s place for dinner and some drinks, and I knew it would also include a lot of work discussion.
By seven thirty I was starving, and we’d been served an array of tiny finger food before the actual dinner, apparently Jesus was a dab hand in the kitchen lately and we were his experimenters. It wasn’t half bad, but then again it wasn’t pizza. At the dinner it was Laf, Jesus, myself and one of the model’s from the shoot the day before, Nela, and her agent, and one of the investors for Lafayette’s magazine. So, I was right the conversation rarely went beyond business. Their business, their work, my work, the magazine, it was tiring but I pepped up when I went to the bathroom and managed to sneak a call to Sookie.