Hey guys, remember this story? Rather long chapter for you right now with a little warning. It was mostly written under the influence of pain, pain meds, lack of sleep, and a lot of water. It is also not beta’d, so there is also that. *Bites nails* I want to say thanks for all the comments on the last post and all the well wishing, it was very sweet and most welcomed after my insane gif filled rant lol!! So, thank you, again. xox
When we left Eric and Sookie in Southern Belles we had them facing the storm that is a sick relative and all the choices and the sacrifices that comes with that as regards each other and their careers.
I ran my hands through my hair, debating once again on the decisions we’d made. In the weeks that had passed slowly since Gran had got out of hospital we were faced with a lot of decisions, ones that were necessary and had to be made quickly. We all hoped we were doing what was best for her, and for everyone involved, I hoped we were too but it was hard to know what was right. Soon we were into yet another new month of madness and things just kept on ticking. We’d done everything the hospital had advised, we’d hired a carer to watch out for her at night, help us with her in the evenings and such, but just to be there as a support system. As it turns out we’d have needed it. Daddy, Jason and Eric made an unexpectedly amazing team together when it came to Gran, and honestly when it came to me too.hey really pulled us both together when I felt in the moments where we became complete strangers to her, and it torn me apart. But they managed to make it that little bit less worse than it might have been. She rapidly deteriorated after she came home, despite the meds – or at times I thought because of them – she became violent more often, and had her forgetful spells a hell of a lot more often too. I was stressed to the max running around after her all day, so much so that I was slipping out of my jeans without a belt, and I knew Eric was worrying about me but said little as he knew I was set on things being how they were. Eric had been in essence a complete tower of strength to me, to everyone involved. For a guy that ran from the idea of family, that loved to be a lone wolf, a total loner, he was pretty amazing at holding it all together. I made sure to try my hardest to make sure he and by extension, us, that we didn’t get lost in the shuffle as much as I could. I loved him, and I didn’t want to neglect our love just because I loved my Grandmother too.
I was sitting on the porch with some coffee and my dog eared novel, just enjoying the early morning peace, when I heard the feet come pattering out and the creak in the door sound loud that someone was coming out. A sleepy eyed Eric with a cup in hand.
“Morning, Love.” He said, kissing me quickly on the cheek and settling in beside me, “interesting book?”
“Morning, and no, I’ve read this like six times since I was a kid, I still love it though.” I said and he lifted it to see the cover.
I nodded, “its comforting reading something you know like the back of your hand is that weird?”
“Not at all, it’s very sweet. You’re very sweet.” He said, kissing my temple, “did you sleep at all last night? I know you were up a couple of times.”
“I slept a little, I mean I know Selah is out there keeping an eye, I just… like to be sure when she’s up and about if I can do anything for her to get her back to bed. I know it’s not what I’m meant to do…”
“But you do it anyway…its just your way, but Sook…I want you to start taking care of yourself a little more, okay?”
“You don’t. You worry for Adele, you look after me, Jason, your Dad… you come last and that’s not what I want for you.”
I just sighed, putting my book down.
“You’re taking the morning off, I had Selah book this for you.” He said producing a brochure from his robe pocket.
“A spa?” I looked from him, to it.
“It’s just a half day; I knew there was no way you’d do a full day. It’s what the doctor recommended to me for my shoulder –“that he’d messed up helping Jason clear out the spare room, those old iron beds where a bitch to shift!
“So you’re coming too?”
“Well it does say ‘couples massage’ I figured it could be kinda cool.”
“You sure about that? I mean every time I do it for you, it always ends in you getting a little too relaxed and happy, if you know what I mean…” I giggled.
“Ah but the key there is that you’re the one doing it, that’s what gives me the happy…mostly because I spend the time enjoying it and imaging where else I could be feeling those hands of yours, Hot stuff.”
Yeah I felt really hot, in my pink robe and lack of makeup or a hairbrush – or not.
“Well if you’re sure. Can –“
“Selah agreed to be here in an hour, so it gives us plenty of time to get ready and head over for a couple of hours. You need to chill, and I’m hoping this will do it, at least for a little while.”
I pouted trying not to cry, I didn’t know why I felt the urge, but his sweet gesture just over took me and I put down my coffee and crawled into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing it a few times before I got to his mouth.
“I love you so fucking much you know? Like it should scare me how much I love you in my life like you are. I can’t imagine my world without you in it now, Eric.”
He smiled, “well at the risk of sounding super cheesy, that’s good because I feel the same about you, about us. You know?”
I nodded hugging him again before I heard Gran call my name from inside.
“I’ll be back, enjoy your coffee.” I said with a quick kiss to his lips I made my way inside.
Leaving Gran safe and sound was a huge relief to us, and she was very lucid when we left too which made it that much more great for everyone. She was happy Eric was taking care of me like he was, which sweetly made him blush, and we got to the spa in record time after a really pleasant car ride where we both cheesed out singing silly songs at the top our lungs from the old CDs I’d found in the clear out. My high school years were accompanied by a pop music soundtrack, what can I say?
Mid-massage the ladies left us alone for a while, to relax alone, and I was almost snoring when I felt his hand reach across for mine.
“I did good?” he asked, groggy too.
“Mmmm…So good. So very good…” I hummed.
“Good. And Sookie?”
“No boner.” He giggled, making me giggle, and suddenly we were both in stitches laughing when the ladies came back in.
“Glad y’all are having fun, sounds like it anyway.” One of them commented and I just nodded.
“I caught a good one, a real good one.”
“That’s true, I don’t know many guys around here would do this in the middle of the week, you’re lucky…” the blonde one said and I could hear the smile on her face, even if I couldn’t see it from my position. Twenty more minutes of rubbing hot oil heaven and we were done, we’d need a shower, but all in all I knew I felt like a new woman, and I figured Eric felt that much lighter too. We left hand in hand, stupid and giddy together.
“So, I have news…” he said as we got to the car.
“Hm. Lafayette texted me last night, asked if I’d be interested in a job he’s got coming up, and if it goes well, it could lead to a full time gig.”
“Oh? Honey that’s great! You going to do it?”
He looked at me, slightly drawn for a second, and the carefree Eric slipped.
“I don’t know; see… it’s for a Vogue magazine shoot in New York to start.”
“Oh…” Realisation hit me, and it wasn’t fun.
“Yeah, it’s a quick shoot but, with prep and editing… I would be gone for like ten days, and he mentioned an offer for his new magazine too. I figure he needs a senior photographer on staff there, and if the job offer came, I’d have to think about it…You know?”
Of course I knew, and I also knew this day would come. Eric was talented and coveted, his eye was something special and he got results that got noticed, it was one of the many, many things I loved about him. He was talented and he was passionate about it, and it was contagious.
“You have to do it.”
“I don’t have to, and honestly I don’t want to if it means what we think it means, Sook. I don’t wanna leave you at all, never mind for weeks at a time… it’s not what I want.”
“But you love your job, you’re good at it, and people respect you. Love, it would be dumb to pass this up, you know that.”
He looked more conflicted than I remember seeing him, and he drove in silence for a little while, before we came to the exit to go down to the old lake.
“Hey, make a left here? Right down this lane to the left, we can stop for a little bit.”
“What’s down here?” He asked when we had almost arrived.
“This is where all the kids use to go Parking.”
He smiled, “is that right?”
I nodded as he pulled up facing out to the vast lake in front of us, I remembered fishing here with my dad too when I was about six. I also remember getting to third base with Tommy Wilkins too ten years later.
“Did you ever go Parking, Sookie?” He asked a glint in his eye and a smirk ever present.
“You wanna go Parking now?”
“I do… but I wanna talk first.”
“Women…” he sighed, mockingly.
“Eric you have to do it. I’d do it. You’d want me to do it; in fact you’d make me do it. So, I’m making you do it.”
“But I don’t want to leave yo-“
“I know that, but babe, seriously… I can survive a few days out of the month, begrudgingly.” I smiled, “We can do it, right?”
He shrugged, “I know we could but it doesn’t mean we should have to.”
“No it doesn’t, but it also doesn’t mean you get to give up a huge part of who you are just to stay here either.”
“What about you, this is a part of your life too, or it was…”
It was, I guess other priorities took over.
“I know, and I still want to work my way up. I need to improve my form, I need to work too I know that, but for right now…”
He nodded, understanding the situation better than anyone, and for the second time that day I crawled into his lap, only this time with more saucy intentions.
“So, it’s settled then. You’re going to New York.” Statement, not a question, he just had to go for it.
He kissed me vigorously and I responded just as such.
“I want you back in the game with me though, soon.” He said in between kisses.
I smiled, “I still got my game, and don’t you worry about that.” I said going for his shirt buttons and I just enjoyed the feeling of him watching me watch him as I did it. I ran my hand down his chest before I pushed his shirt off his shoulders, while his hands began to creep up the back of mine. His lips went to my neck, softly making their way up behind my ear and back again.
“Mmmm.” He said, “You taste like coconuts.”
It was the oil they’d used; I’d wager he would too.
He yanked my top off, throwing it on the passenger seat as he went for the button on my shorts. I lifted my butt and shimmied them down my legs as best I could without breaking contact. I slipped my hand under his seat, sliding us back a little. The last thing I needed was to hit the horn with my ass mid-fuck.
Grinding, ass tapping, sloppy kissing and light biting was the flavour of the afternoon delight, and we were both getting off on the thought of being caught a lot more than we should have. I realized he and I did have a little bit of an outdoor kink in our sexipades history. I gripped onto the car door and the seat behind his head for more leverage once I had him inside me, panting and shallow breathing like he was and I wasn’t much different. This had to be fast, I was adventurous but I wasn’t stupid, people frequented this place in the day, and it was still early!
“Ohh…I…yes! Yes!” I moaned as I sunk deeper and he bit my lip for my troubles. It was hot, and he knew I liked that.
“Don’t break skin…” I said, smiling as I picked up the pace before I dug my teeth into his bare shoulder, he cried out in response, yanking me back to face him.
“You…either…last time…” he smiled pushing me down harder, and yes, last time I had broken skin, sinking into him a little too hard as I came.
We both panted and I buried my face in his neck again in an attempt to silence my cries, tasting sweat there now where there had just been nothing before.
“Jesus holy fucking Christ…Fuck.” He moaned and I knew that meant only one thing, so I picked up the pace again and he instinctively knew I was close, just not as close as him, the next thing I knew his fingers were inside me too, and I felt the slow build get faster and faster before it spread through me, leaving me warm and deviously tingling top to toe and everywhere in between as we came together. It almost never happened like that, but when it did, it was pretty fuckin’ awesome. It took us both a few minutes to come down, just getting our breathing under control, as I found my way back into my clothes.
“That’s how us country girls do it.” I said with a smirk before I clasped my bra and dragged my shirt back up over my head.
“I fuckin’ love country girls.”
“Oh is that right?” I said giving him the side eye.
“Well, okay maybe just this one country girl, we’re kind of a thing now.”
“Goin’ steady huh? I’m crushed.”
“She is a lucky girl, all the other girls at lunch think so…” he said whimsically and it earned him a poke on the arm.
“Okay, let’s go Cowboy, funs over.”
He groaned, but tucked himself in and started the car again.
“We so need to shower.”
“Yes, we do, heavy foot it home, Jeeves.” I teased.
“Yes, Ma’am.” He gave in his best and yet somehow still awful Southern accent.
Over the next couple of days, Eric and I became somewhat inseparable, more so even than we were before, and all because we knew he’d be leaving soon. It was only for a few days, a week max, but it still wasn’t something either of us was looking forward to particularly. Leaving him at the airport sucked, I was excited for him, but at the same time, I was being left behind, on my terms. I hated myself right then for being the stupid supportive girlfriend, and the stupid supportive Granddaughter. So, I did what I do best, I wish him well, almost kissed his face off, gave him a semi boner, waved him off and cried in the car on the way home. Celine Dion may or may not have been playing while I did so. For a week I moped, but I also did my bit and took care of Gran, we went on walks when she was lucid, and we stayed indoors when she wasn’t. I was also becoming a dab hand at this whole gardening thing; it was very soothing, that or I was just literally turning into my mother. I shuddered at the thought.
Speaking of my mother, things had been strained before, but after Dad and Jason because blatant Team Sookie, things only managed to get that much more worse. I hated it and I wanted to put it to bed, as Gran would say. I wanted to have a good relationship with my mother, but I figured those days were long past, but they were on my bucket list of things to do, I’d get around to it, eventually. I hoped. For the time being I’d focus on the only ‘mother’ that ever really looked out for me, and I’d do it with pleasure because I knew she’d have done the same for me.
Having taken Gran on the weekly doctor checkup, as well as to the store so we could shop around and decide what we needed for the time being, I’d filled up another three days of errands, and care-taking, seeing Jason and my Dad regularly helped a lot, and Selah was working out well as a night nurse for Gran too. I missed Eric more than I thought I would and judging by his hourly texts, he was feeling the pinch too. But, we soldiered on, having been told he was needed for an extra five days, he had to stay in New York, neither of us was thrilled about it, but we made do. Lafayette on the other hand was threatening to come visit and ‘keep his woman warm’ for him, over Skype, he was never not hilarious, even if Eric side eyed him like crazy, it made me smile.
At the grocery store I overheard Milly Anderson, who was basically the school bike back in the day, but somehow managed to marry the guy who was meant to be running for Senator? Well, I overheard her in one of the aisle’s talking on her phone, about Alcide and his spat with his mother and sister and that apparently there was a ‘scandal’ waiting to come out.
I knew it would only be one thing, and I knew it had to have come from Janice, that woman gossiped more than a tabloid. I decided to drop my things off at the house and take a drive over to see him, if things were about to blow up in his face, my guess was he wasn’t in a good place emotionally, and it was the least I could do to go check on him.
I walked into the house with so many emotions swirling around in my head. It was weird to be back there, number one. Number two, he really hated the deco I had picked out. Now everything was darker grey, blacks, and greens. Very bachelor paddish.
“Oh this is just sad. This is just…all kinds of sad.” I said as I found him on the couch covered in that old blanket we bought in Pottery Barn like a zillion years ago, covered in Cheeto dust, and stinking of booze.
“Go away.” He said from under his blanket.
“How’d you get in anyhow?”
“I used my key.” I said, panting myself next to him on the sofa of sadness.
“Okay, go away…” he said again still not looking at me.
“So your mom finally gets it, huh? I take it shit went down?”
He sniffled a little before sitting up straight, still inside his blanket of sorrow.
“You could say that, she threw me out of the house, Janice won’t even look at me, my life is over, Sookie.”
I sighed, “ ‘Cide your life is far from over, tell me what happened?”
“The letters kept coming, and then the photos…”
“There were photos? Oh… of what exactly?!” I asked, cautiously.
“Me, kissing a guy, pretty damn hard to defend that to her, you know?”
“Oh…” I nodded.
“Yeah…Bottom line, I just have to move, maybe China, China could be good. It’s far. Far is good.”
“Okay this is ridiculous, you need to get off your ass, go shower, and shave that…thing on your face, and just come eat food with me.”
He looked at me, stunned.
“Why are you doing this?”
“This, being super nice to me?”
“Because I’m damn delightful, that’s why….”I joked.
“Sookie, after all the shit that went down with us, you being nice is just weirding me out.”
“Okay, yes, it might be weird but it’s only weird if we make it weird. Now, you were able to forgive Eric right? The bro code is in place again and all that jazz, you and I we’ve both had a long time to get to grips with who we really are. And who we are, is not a couple who were destined to be a couple –“
“Yeah I’ve been home a lot, watching a lot of the Own network.” I sighed, “anyway, my point is, you’re gay, Sweetie, you like dick, almost if not more than I do, that was always going to be the straw that broke the camels back, you know? And I’m bored. Eric is in New York and I have no friends here anymore, and I’d like us to be friends, at least. And, from the sounds of things your friendship metre is in the shitter too, so hey, let’s not be losers who eat alone and go get some Creole for dinner and some tequila?”
He looked at me, pondering for a few moments before he broke what looked like a smile.
I nodded, “okay, go do that and I’m going to open some windows and judge the colour of your walls.”
He rolled his eyes, “After you left I kind of went on an Anti-Sookieing spree, a lot of dark…I was in a dark place…”
“I see that, literally and figuratively. You are like the worst gay, ever. Seriously.” I laughed as he passed me, padding his way up the stairs.
I heard him pottering about upstairs as I gave the place a quick clean up, memory lane working over time, on what might have been had things been different. I realized I’d have been his housewife, still, had I not stood up for myself. That we’d both have still been living a lie, a lie that it was clear everyone around him just wanted to believe, including me for a time. I would have been so completely unhappy, so completely unfulfilled, so completely without Eric. I thought of him, and I smiled. He’d been gone two weeks, and was due back by the end of the week, but it was still too long. Skype just was not as good as the real thing. I pulled out my phone and dialled his number, walking out to the back porch as it rang.
“Hello?” He said, winded, he was outside.
“Hey! I was just thinking about you –“I could hear the smile in his voice, I loved that, “I’m on the first flight out of here on Friday, I can’t wait.”
“That’s great, really great. I’m dying to see you.”
“Mmm…” he hummed, and I could only imagine what he was thinking.
“What are you up to right now?” I asked, noting the dust on the porch table and rolling my eyes.
“Just got out of a shoot, it was a disaster, the model could barely hold her head up she was so stoned.” He sighed. “It took twice as long and I’m going to have to ‘shop the shit out of these to make them presentable, but, the day is over and I’m going back to the apartment to crash. You?”
“Well,” I shifted, not sure if this would be awkward or not, “I’m going out to dinner, with Alcide.”
There was silence, for a second.
“Oh…” he said and that worried me.
“Oh, good for you Sookie for moving on and starting fresh or Oh, what the fuck are you doing with your gay ex-husband?”
“No…I … I mean that’s good… it’s good that you’re willing to let by gones be gone and all that… I guess.” He sounded unsure.
“I don’t love him you know?”
“I know, I know. I’m just… bad memories, you know?”
“I do, and I can’t change those, but I can reassure you –“
“I don’t need you to do that, I know you love me, I know that you don’t love him, and you never loved him like what we have. I know.” He sounded then sincere and that filled me with so much joy in that second.
“Damn straight, no pun intended,” I laughed, “he’s going through some stuff…I need food, he needs food. We’re embracing not being losers who eat alone.”
“That makes sense.”
“It does…Two days.”
“Yup, two days and you’re all mine baby, all mine and trust me when I say the things I’ve got planned will – “ at that I looked back inside and Alcide was in the kitchen slugging water, too awkward, so I stopped.
“Well?” Eric chuckled on the other end of the phone.
“Just think, that time in France teamed with that one time when Alexi went to Spain for the weekend, with oils.”
He burst out laughing, “Damn. Woman…”
“Hey, it’s been a long ass two weeks, Buddy; I’ve had a lot of time to think!”
He continued to laugh, “Anyway,” I said “I got to go, I’m starving and have to be back before nine for Gran.”
“Right, yeah of course… How is she?”
“Eh, the same I guess? I mean the new meds have been working great so far, less violent outbursts, but you know…”
“I do, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be, it’s fine. It is what it is.”
“But just that I’m here –“
“We discussed this, there is no guilt. I mean unless you come back without presents, then there’s guilt.” I smiled.
“I love you.”
“Love you too, text me later?” I said.
“I will, tell ‘Cide I said…well, just tell him I say hey.”
“I will. Bye, Love.”
A few awkward silences later and Alcide and I managed to make our way to a table, and at least on my part refrain from ordering everything on it, I was that hungry.
“So, you going to give me details or do I have to make you do shots first?” I asked after the waitress took our order.
He sighed, looking a lot older than his years in that moment.
“Someone kept sending the letters, and that same person sent the photos of me and my…friend. Same hand writing, and because they sent copies to me too.”
“I know, I mean I don’t know who else I’ve pissed off more…other than you, and I know it wasn’t you. I really just wish I’d handled every …everything differently.” He said looking regretful, and I knew he meant us too.
“Me too, but hey, we learned our lessons right?”
He chortled, “Did I though? Had I learned I would have just manned up and told my family who I really am, but I didn’t? I hid it, and I lied and now it’s all hit the fan and I don’t know what to do from here on out.”
“I think you need to talk, with your mom and your sister? Just, sit down somewhere …public where there are witnesses should Janice get slap happy…” I smiled, “and just talk to them.”
“That’s just it, my Mom she couldn’t even look at me, Sookie, like I crushed her heart.”
“Your mother is melodramatic, Alcide, we both know that. This is a woman that burst into tears because I wouldn’t allow her choice of flowers at the wedding, remember? She’s also the woman that wanted your third cousin Dixie to sing, and I said ain’t nobody named Dixie going into my wedding, and then she cried, again. So really you just got to do it, and then it’ll be over. Like ripping off a band aid, or leg waxing.” I mused.
“I wish I was as brave as you.”
“I’m not brave, not really, I’m just…more secure in myself now that I don’t give a flying fuck what people say or think of me. Sometimes it hurts, sure, but most of the time… being away from here…that small town mentality leaves you eventually. And eventually you stop caring what random people think and just know that it only matters what you think, what you do and that the people that love you are with you…”
He ‘hummed’ at me and sipped his water, just before our dishes arrived and I just about died from saliva over production.
We got half way through the meal, chit chatting about our old friends, about old times, and about old mistakes when he suddenly turns three shades of white – which for him and his perma-tan, wasn’t easy.
“Oh shit, shit. Don’t say anything okay…just…”
I looked to where he was looking and it was Sarah, Sarah Newlin, and she’d spied us and she looked positively livid. I didn’t ignore her, in fact I smiled and I waved making Alcide groan.
“Sookie Stackhouse…What in the world?” she said as she approached the table, her best pageant smile in place. She was so waspy, it was hilarious. Pearls in place, pastel for days, good Lord I could have ended up like that.
“High, Sarah how are you?” I asked my own fake smile in place.
“Oh I’m just so good right now; I’m in such a good place. I guess you heard Steven and I divorced?”
Oh, it was Steven now?
“I did, I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.” She said, glaring at Alcide.
“Well, I mean it’s probably for the best –“
“Is it? Is it? Like it was for the best for you to divorce your Queer and run off with the guy you were fucking on the side.”
“Meow,” I said, laughing at her outburst, Alcide looked like he just wanted to die.
“I just wanted to say Hello, Sarah. Not start world war fucking three, okay? You’re husband was gay, you need to accept that.”
“I had accepted it!” she whispered harshly, her face going a scary shade of red, “and it was working, everything was fine until …he… they can you believe it? They ‘loved’ each other? Can…I can’t. And he…” she glared at Alcide, “ruined my life, Sookie. My reputation, my marriage…”
“The fact that your husband was fucking men, sorta already did that, Sweetie.” I said.
She pursed her lips and I genuinely thought she was going to explode.
“You both just couldn’t leave enough alone, could you? You had to go and leave and –“
“And what? Live a genuinely happy life? Damn, how fucking selfish of me, I should have just stayed with him, making us BOTH miserable; yeah that’s a much better idea. You’re cracked you know that. No one gives shit about your reputation, only you, Sarah. Times have changed, thank JESUS, and we’re not debutants anymore, nothing matters because we’re grown ass women!”
“You …he still ruined my life so I don’t feel bad for ruin…” she stopped herself but I caught it, she backed away from the table, “I need to go… I just need to go…” she said backing away before she started to speed up as she got to the door.
“I’ll be right back.” I said to Alcide, ignoring his attempts to stop me.
I found her standing on the side of the path, waiting for a cab.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” I asked, not caring that the other side of the street was packed.
“I don’t know what you’re –“
“You had him followed, you sent his mother those letters, it was you wasn’t it?”
She wouldn’t look at me, but I didn’t need her too, I knew it to be true.
“Jesus Christ, Sarah. Why?”
“He ruined EVERYTHING. My family, my future, my re-“
“Oh my God enough with the reputation already. Woman you own your own business, you’re successful, you’re beautiful. What could being married possible do to make it better-“
“Because now I’m the sister that got passed over for a MAN, Sookie. Not even another woman, a fucking man!”
“I know how that feels.”
“No, you don’t because you left here, and you didn’t see the looks and the stares and the gossiping. You didn’t have to witness any of it because you were off fucking your fancy man and the rest of us were left to pick up the damn pieces.”
I snapped at that, just because I wasn’t around didn’t mean that I wasn’t left with a mess to clean up.
“Do you know what it was like, Sarah? To strive for that acceptance, of all of you? To be this perfect woman? With the perfect life? When we all know it was all lies, every last one of us. My boyfriend liked your husband; I liked my boyfriend’s best friend. Tara’s husband beat the shit out of her on a weekly basis and she did nothing, Hadley was pregnant when she got married, and Pam was a lesbian! And yet we all tried to lie to each other, and our damn-selves to fit this stupid cookie cutter image of what our fucked up families told us to be true. It’s not, none of it is. None of it matters. All that matters is that you make yourself happy, however you do it is up to you!”
“It’s not that easy –“
“No, it’s not easy, it’s so fucking hard…but that’s the point! Life is hard and for you to go and deliberately make Alcide’s life harder just to spite him? That’s fucked up.”
“Maybe, but I don’t regret it. He ruined my life, so now I ruin his. Just like I did to Steve, they have to pay for what they did to us, Sookie. They lied!”
I just sighed, she was still so angry, and it was turning her bitter.
I never wanted to turn out like that.
“No, Hun, you’re lying to yourself and you probably have been for a long time. Just leave him alone, please?”
“Why are you defending him?!”
“I’m not defending him, but I’m not condemning him either, that’s not my place. I’ve moved on, you haven’t yet, but you will and you’ll look back and be so ashamed of doing this. I knew you once, and you’re not that girl, Sarah.”
“How do you know that? You don’t know shit about me anymore!”
“I know because you’re not your mother, and if you are then I’ve lost all hope for what we all swore we’d never become, but most of us were well on our way, and that’s the fucked up thing in all this. We became what they wanted us to be, when we swore we wouldn’t…” I said holding up my hands, and just letting it sit with her, and then I went back inside to finish my meal. Where I met a courious and terrified looking Alcide, I’d had enough of everyone’s bullshit.
“Eat up, because we’re going somewhere after dinner.”
“What? Where are we going?”
“We’re going to your mother’s and we’re going to hash this out once and for all, Alcide. You can’t keep wasting your life on other people’s opinions, it’s yours, it’s the only one you got, and I’m going to need you to do this.”
“I can’t, they hate me.”
“So? If they do then it’s their loss. You’re a good man, just not so loyal or straight to your girlfriends…but hey I’m not one to talk.” I smiled, “but you and whoever was in those photos…if it’s a thing and I think it is… then you both deserve to be happy. You can’t be happy with this up in the air, so we’re going and we’re gonna talk it out with them. If they can’t accept you, then…excuse my French, but Fuck them. You go and you make a life for yourself then. You can do it. I have faith in you, just like you knew I me breaking free was the best thing I could do for myself… I’m returning the favour, I guess.”
He nodded, and I guess my pep-talk helped because he agreed and we even skipped desert to do it. He never skipped desert.
So much for a quite night away, there’s not such thing in this town!