Hey guys, this is a canon one shot that I’ve been tinkering around with for a while now. I wanted to wait and post it in one go, but you know me, patience has never been much good to me. So I’ll be posting this in parts and it probably won’t be updated as fast as my others, and won’t be as long as my other stories either… at least I don’t think it will as of right now! Enjoy and let me know what you think! x
Mixed canon from the end of S4 & my take on parts of S5, Sookie & Co deal with the aftermath of their choices, as well as the disturbing reality for Sookie of what it is to be part Fae in a vampire filled world.
It happened in slow motion, and then so fast it was like my head was spinning. All over again, always the same way, Debbie shows up, there’s a gun, my whole body goes tense, I know Tara is close, I know Debbie is going to hurt me, and I know how it ends. Because it ends how it always does, with me blowing Debbie’s brains out, before I find my friend half dead on the kitchen floor dying from one of Debbie’s bullets, bullets meant for me. I wake up, in a cold sweat, alone in my bed. I should feel safe, I should feel relieved that it was only a dream, except if anything I only feel that much worse. Because I know it wasn’t merely a dream, it was horrible reality, and one that wasn’t just the end of some nightmare, but simply the beginning.
It had been two weeks since that night, and in those two weeks I’d found myself crawling further and further into a shell. Unsure if I could face anymore of what this supernatural filled world could throw at me, word of course spread throughout Bon Temps as it usually did. The deaths of the reclusive Wiccan and her followers, the male nurse, the little brother, the werewolf packmaster, and the suddenly MIA town loudmouth. Such was a small town, people gossiped but they rarely knew the truth at all, I knew that better than anyone, having seen the truth and heard the truth with my own mind for years – whether I wanted to, or not. I stumbled out of bed, it was almost noon, and I’d slept on and off for the previous few days, waking only to eat, shower and sleep again. I’d not answered my door, my phone, or the niggling thoughts in my head that were compelling me to go to him. I’d ignored it all, in the hopes that I’d find some temporary peace, but I knew in my heart that would never come.
Drinking two cups of coffee and attempting a half a slice of toast, all of which I saw in reverse minutes later. Finding no use in my house, whilst now beautifully restored and clean, it was still tainted with all those horrible memories, as well as my fear that one day it would be filled with so many bad ones that they’d eclipse over all of the good ones that my Grandmother and our family made here, before. Before Bill Compton walked into my life, before everything changed forever. I tried not to think about him, or any of the other vampires in my life, but try as I might it plagued me, like a bad penny. I arrived outside Lafayette’s place shortly after two, there was no sign of life but I knocked regardless. A few minutes of waiting brought me face to face with a dejected looking friend.
“Hey…” I said, walking in, his house dark and smelling questionable, his drapes were still closed, and he had lost his usual pizzazz. He didn’t speak; he just nodded instead, before wandering back to his bedroom, holding me by the hand and taking me along too. We both said nothing, not that there wasn’t a lot to say, there was, neither of us felt like saying it. Instead, we got into his bed, and we just laid there, both of us for a long time, saying nothing, just breathing. In itself I should have been in awe that I was still able to do that, that he was still able to do that. I’d lost so many people in so many horrific ways, I squeezed his hand tighter, simply thankful I hadn’t lost him too.
When I woke up again, it was even darker than it had been before, checking my watch I realized I’d fallen asleep again, it was well after six, and I was starving. Not helped by the waft of bacon and eggs coming from Lafayette’s kitchen. I walked in to find him showered and in a new set of clothes, looking a lot more full of life than before.
“You hungry, Sooks?”
“Starving, thanks…you look better.” I noted, and he just shrugged.
“I’ve got to pick myself back up, dust myself off, like I’ve always done. I think I’ve wallowed just about enough.”
“When does it stop?”
“The picking up and dusting off, it seems like its never endin’.”
“It’ll end, when we die…” he rolled his eyes, “though even then I’m not so sure it ends. What I’ve seen these last few months, I’m not sure anything ends, not really.”
That wasn’t as comforting as it might have been before.
We ate in relative silence, both of us glad of the company, me more than him since he then told me he hadn’t exactly been alone up in here.
“Himself, his fine self. Just you know…dead and a ghost, or a spirit, or a whatever they call it these days. It’s like he’s here, but he’s not.”
“Huh.” I sounded out, looking around the room, “is he…here now?”
“No, he’s probably off frolicking on another plane somewhere, hell if I know where they go, he doesn’t say.”
“Well I don’t feel so alone now…”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not the only person who’s had a dead boyfriend.” I half smiled, making him smile.
“Now that is true. I always knew you and me would have a lot in common. Both fine, both work our booties off, and fine booties they is… and now…dead boyfriends.”
Both he and I cracked up at that, I don’t know if it was the food, the sugar in my coffee, or just the fact that we needed to laugh, but we did.
“Speaking of which,” he said, “how’s it goin’ with all that vampire ass chasing you?”
I rolled my eyes, “after everything that’s happened, I swore to myself that that was it, you know? No more, I wanted to stand on my own two feet, find out who I am without their influence…without their blood, or their interfering…”
I sighed, he didn’t know yet and I certainly didn’t know how to tell him. I wanted to tell him, so badly; I needed to tell him, to ease my mind if nothing else. But, it was just with everything that had gone one with Jesus, with the witches, and now this? I wasn’t so sure I could add to his pain. But I had added to it, I had begged to add to it when it happened. It was, whether I pulled the trigger or not, it was my fault, what happened to Tara, and I needed to own up to it.
“The things with Eric…”
“Mmmhmm, honestly Sookie I don’t know what crazy ass mojo led him to you, but it did, and I know that motherfucker needs his ass kicked, but to wipe him out like that? That took some powerful shit. I don’t know how he didn’t end up dead-dead. Like, really dead.”
I didn’t know either, I had no idea how an Eric with no memory of who I was or who he was, ended up on my road, near my house, to be found by me.
“Things changed; he changed, it was so…” I sighed, I missed that Eric, hell I miss all of him “but then…”
“He changed back?”
“Exactly, and Eric at full speed, he’s just a lot harder to deal with than Eric at half speed. It was easier before, when he didn’t know who he really was, or what he’d done, what he’d done to you, to me…to everyone.”
He nodded, “Sookie, I’m not…excusing Eric, it’s the last thing I’d do. That man needs his ass kicked, and I has no desire to end up in his basement of horrors again…”
“Why do I sense a but? Lafayette, what he did to you –“
“Sookie what he did to me, I’m not sayin’ I deserved it, but I broke their laws, I stole their blood and I sold that shit, I know other vamps, that caught other dealers, and honestly Eric wasn’t lyin’ when he said there were others that would have done worse to me…believe me. I got out of there with all limbs intact, most don’t.”
“And we should praise him for that? No! It was monstrous!”
“And what about what Bill did to you?”
“Bill never locked me in a damn basement, chained up like some dog!”
“No, but he did a lot more…”
I folded my arms; I really didn’t want to hear this, not now.
“Sookie, he lied to you from the second he met you, he tricked you, he had you beaten to a pulp, he fed off you and almost drained you dry, he’s put you in danger so many times and yet…that… you can over look? Girl I just do not underfuckin’stand you.”
“I never said I overlooked it, I just chose to…forgive it.”
“And yet you didn’t forgive and forget with Eric, why?”
“Do you like him now just because he gave you a fancy car?”
He raised his brows at me, “you really think I’m that shallow, besides that bitch is a write-off, I’m pissed about that.”
“No, I thought you’d realize what he did was wrong and –“
“I do realize it, but like you and the fuckery with Saint Bill, I’ve chosen to …forgive it.”
“He helped me out, he’s gotten me into shit, but he’s also got me out of it, and he helped me out in Hotshot where my black ass would have surely been eaten for supper had he not been there. So, maybe I see his little bit of good deeding out weighs the bad… for now.”
He might think differently when I tell him what Eric did, what I made Eric do. My heart started to beat really fast, my palms started to sweat, and I felt dizzy. I heard what Lafayette was thinking, how he thought I wasn’t safe on my own, not with Bill so close, or Eric either really, how he wondered why Tara hadn’t called, if she’d gone back to New Orleans again without telling anyone, he wondered if Jesus would come to him again that night, he hoped he would, he missed him, he missed everyone.
“Lafayette, I have something to tell you, something that I should have told you when it happened. I just didn’t know how, and honestly the longer I left it, the harder it’s got, and I just need to tell you…”
He looked worried, rightly so, and stupid tears started to fall even though I was desperately trying to keep them in.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“It’s Tara… she’s not in New Orleans, she’s not gone one the run again, she…There was a break in, at my place, she…she got shot…”I sobbed, “She got shot, and I thought she was gone, I screamed and screamed for help,” I inhaled, pushing another sob down as I took the breath, watching the horror on his face, “I just called and called, and then…. they came…”
His eyes widened, he got up and started frantically pacing his living room, “And then what? Huh? And then what?!” He yelled at me.
“I begged them to help her, to somehow save her…but they …they said that it was impossible to try… that she’d lost too much blood…that the only way to –“
“No…no! No…!” He repeated, rubbing his head, “No, Sook, tell me this is a sick joke please tell me!”
I choked again, unable to get my breath I was sobbing so hard, “I’m so, so, sorry Lafayette, they … I begged them to help her, and the only way to try was to try and –“
“Turn her! THEY TURNED HER?”
I closed my eyes, desperately trying to gather myself, I needed to hold my shit together.
“I ..Don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“I mean, Eric made Pam do it…”
“I don’t know…He just did, and then they…they took her, and I haven’t heard from them since… I’m too scared to know for sure. I …”
“Pam is her maker?”
“If it worked, I don’t know if it worked…God Lafayette I don’t know which would be the better outcome, for her. I don’t know what she’d do or how she’d deal as a vampire, but at least as a vampire, she’s still here, she’s still with us…it’s a better alternative than being six feet under dirt.”
“WE don’t know that, Sookie, we don’t know that she’d not pass on, or be like Jesus…”
“And what? Pop by for a chat from the other side, that’s your gift, not everyone else’s! And I didn’t know what to do! Lafayette, I panicked, I was in shock I didn’t know how to save her…”
“Where do they have her?”
“I don’t know…”
“Then find out…”
“What? You can’t call up your Viking boyfriend? Why? Bill might get mad and throw his crown at you? Girl, please. Get your ass in gear; I need to know one way or another, even if you don’t.
A half an hour later, we pulled up outside of Fangtasia, both of us more than a little worse for wear.
“If they won’t answer their fucking phones, we’ll go to them.” He said, storming out of the car, and marching right into the abandoned club. I followed, to be greeted by Ginger and a scream.
“What are ya’ll doin’ in here, we don’t open for another- “
“Where’s Eric?” Lafayette demanded, and a shocked… well she was always shocked looking, but an even more shocked looking Ginger stepped back.
“He’s in his office, but he’s in the middle of something!”
I prayed silently that it wasn’t another stripper in chains.
Instead of Lafayette busting into his office, Eric walked through the door, calm and confident as I’d ever seen him. Dressed down in the pants that clearly belonged to a suit, but wearing only a well fitted vest on top. Looking every inch the in-charge, no nonsense badass I’d come to know and loathe, nothing at all like ‘my’ Eric.
“Lafayette.” He said coolly, looking at him, glancing at me, and looking back at Lafayette, “what can I do for you?”
“Tell me where the fuck my cousin is, that’s what you can do.”
Eric looked to me again for just a split second before putting on his focus back on the desperate man in front of him.
“Well? Tell me!”
“We’ve been keeping her under…observation.” He said, leaning against the bar, so she was alive, or as alive as she was ever going to be again. Still I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
“What…what does that mean?”
“It means, Pam attempted to change her, to save her life…and she succeeded, we think.”
“You think? Can you just be fuckin’ straight with me, please?”
“Your cousin hasn’t spoken since she woke up the first night, she’s refused to feed, and she’s refused to leave the basement, much to Pam’s dismay, as a maker to see your newborn in such a catatonic state…well…it’s not the ideal scenario.”
“None of this is the ideal damn scenario, can she speak? Is she brain dead? Is she still Tara?”
“She’s as …wilful as ever, she’s proven that…but she’s just done so silently.”
That didn’t sound like Tara at all.
“Can we see her?”
“No,” was his firm response.
“Why the fuck not, she’s my family.”
“Not anymore, now she’s my family, and seeing you …might make her worse.” He didn’t look at me, he didn’t even glance my way after that. It hurt, I’ll admit.
“Worse than starving to actual death in a fuckin’ basement? How could it get worse?”
Eric seemed to weigh that comment in his head for a few seconds before barely nodding.
I went to follow, but he spoke again, “No, just Lafayette. Not you.”
“Why not?” I spoke up finally, but he never answered me, instead walking away, closely followed by Lafayette. Leaving me in the empty bar, alone.
Well, fuck you too, Northman.
I wandered around the empty club for a few minutes, taking in the surroundings again. It was so detailed, the décor, even if it was all red on red, on red. I guess Eric liked red. I walked around, bored of waiting, I was never one for just standing back and letting things happen – even if it meant the wrong thing for me, I tended to just jump in, nosey nose first. I got to Eric’s office, and that’s when I saw the woman, behind his desk looking very much at home.
“Who are you?” She asked with a bored look on her beautiful face.
“I could ask you the same thing.” I countered.
“I asked first.”
“I’m Sookie, I’m here with a friend –“
“Oh, yes, so you’re the one responsible for that …mess downstairs. Like we needed any other issues right now, never mind a new born.”
She rolled her eyes, and stood up taking her folders with her. I wondered if she was Nan’s replacement or something.
“Tell Eric, if you see him and,” she looked me up and down, “I’m sure you’ll see him, that I’ll call back later, I’ve gone to get dinner.”
“Who are you?” I asked again, more than irritated at her non-answer and assumptions.
She smirked, “I’m Nora. Goodnight, Sookie.” And with that, she sashayed out of the office.
I was tempted to walk down to the basement, I knew I shouldn’t have, but my curiosity got the better of me, and all that. I peeked, and walked slowly and quietly down the stone steps. Not that it mattered, they were vampires, they knew I was coming before I did.
“I told you to stay put.” Eric said, still not looking at me. Asshole.
“How is she?” I asked Lafayette, ignoring those who chose to ignore me.
“She’s…not talking, but she looks…alive…considering.”
The basement didn’t look like it once had. Gone were the dank walls and smell of blood. In place were a bed, rugs, and two lamps.
“I wanted to make it comfortable for her,” Pam said, attentively, from the corner of the bed where she sat; Tara curled up at the head of the bed, a look of fear on her face. Lafayette sat tenderly by her side, rubbing her hand.
Tara’s eyes shot to me, when I got all the way down the stairs. In an instant I was pinned against the wall, Tara’s new fangs and a murderous look in her eyes, her hand around my throat.
Not good. Not good at all.
“Tara, it’s me…It’s Sookie…Please –“
“I know it’s you, and I know this…all of this is because of you, bitch.”
Oh, shit. Shitting, shit.
“I just wanted to save you, I didn’t want you to die!”
“And this was better? Turning me into one of them? The one thing I hate more than anything in this world, you think that was a good idea?”
“What other choice was there? It was this…”I struggled for breath, “or you being six feet under right now, dead.”
“I’m already dead, only problem is, they won’t let me stay fuckin’ dead!”
I didn’t understand what that meant, or what had gone down in the last two weeks, but the next thing I knew, Eric had Tara by the neck, and threw her back across the room. I winced, and Lafayette ran to try and pick her up, she was having none of it though, she was on her feet in a split second.
“Tara, we agreed if we took off the chains, you’d behave.”
“You had her in fuckin’ chains?” Lafayette questioned.
“Why the fuck did you –“
“It was necessary,” Pam interjected, checking on Tara, on her child, “Tara has been having a …difficult transition, we’ve had to take some…precautions.”
“I…” Before I could speak, Eric had me by the arm, and pushed me towards the steps, “What the hell do you think you’re doing! Get your hands off of me!”
“You need to go, unless you want us to let her eat you, she hasn’t fed, so she might just do that.”
I knew he saw the flash of fear in my eyes, but, he didn’t seem to care, as he continued to push me towards the exit. When we got out of the basement, I marched wilfully towards his office, “You’ve got some damn nerve treatin’ me like this?”
“Oh, really? Why’s that?”
“You’re fooling no one you know, this one thing; it’s clearly an act…” I pouted and he just sighed, looking uninterested.
“Tara hasn’t taken well to being changed, she’s refused to feed naturally even though the hunger of a newborn is or should be ravenous. And each night before dawn, she tries to escape so she can meet the sun, left with sharp objects, she attempts to stake herself. I’ve had my hands full with the Authority bullshit, as well as this. Pam is a first time maker, this is new to her, she needs me to show her how to handle a newborn…but of course Tara being Tara, she has to be fucking difficult.”
“Yes, Oh. And it’s you she’s aiming for, when she rants and raves, she doesn’t blame Pam – she wouldn’t, she has a child’s bond with Pam now, whether she wants it or not, but, she does blame you. Which is why you should go.”
Short and to the point, I guess he really was back to his old self.
“I… I never meant for any of this to –“
“You know where the door is, I assume. I also assume you can find your way out, without having to summon Bill to come and rescue you,” he added, his tone bored, his eyes focused on his computer. I wanted to slap him, hit him, kiss him, anything. I just wanted some kind of a reaction from him, other than what I was getting. I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, wondering if he’d even look at me, when he didn’t, my heart sank.
“Fucking Asshole,” I mumbled to myself before I stomped through the empty club and to my car. I started it with a rage, and drove like a loon all the way back home. I had to repeat my mantra in my head the whole way there, ‘I’m through with Vampires, I’m through with Vampires!’
Even if they weren’t through with me.