A/N: A little early 1900’s Eric was nothing if not … inspiring… this week. Enjoy 😉
I woke up beyond early the next morning, the sun had barely hit the horizons and I was up out of bed and tiptoeing into Pam’s room as silently as I could. She was face planted on her pillow, knocked out cold.
“Pam…”I whispered, nudging her.
“Paaam…” I nudged again and she spoke, muffled into her linens.
“What? Is someone dead? Are you drunk? What is it, Sookie?” she said, all without opening her eyes. I took that as a sign she was awake and hoped on the bed beside her, annoying her, judging by the sound she made.
“He … came to me last night…”
“Congratulations, finally, you’ve fucked, now go away.”
“Shhh and No.” I chastised her as she turned to face me, but not really face me as her eyes were still shut. Pam loved her sleep more than any other person I knew, personally I thought of her as a rather humanized cat, she liked to lounge, clean and admire herself, and sleep, she was basically a cat.
“He came to my room and we talked.”
“God you’re both so sad… just take off his clothes and climb on him already.”
“Pam!” I scowled again, “would you listen? We talked and he’s less… I don’t know, panicked now. He understands why I did what I did, and he accepts it. He accepts me.”
With that she opened her eyes, fixing her lips into a pout.
“And that’s what you want, his acceptance?”
“Well, that’s a start for what I want, yes.”
“I see. And his reaction about… what happened between us?”
That was a little unclear, but I figured if he could accept that I was an almost-but-not-really-murderer, my little adventure with Pam was something he would surely understand. Given his own personal history with her, I found it hard to believe he would not get over it, and soon. He wasn’t a very judgmental man, from what I had seen, at least not completely, and he was not one to hold grudges.
“We’ll discuss it, I am sure, but for the time being, we’ve over come something huge, and I just thought I would share it with you before I went for my morning walk. Do you want anything back from –“
“I want to sleep? Lafayette comes at ten, he brings breakfast, but if you’d like to pick up a newspaper, please do so.”
“Okay. Sorry for disturbing you.” I said, still cheery and somewhat hyper as I hopped off her tall bed again and began to tiptoe out of the room.
“Before I forget, your mother called last night, in all my upset I almost forgot.”
“What the fuck did she want?”
“Other than to intimidate me, I am not sure, she wants you to call her at your first availability. It sounded important.”
“It always is with that woman… thanks.”
I nodded, as she stuck a pillow over her head and I made my exit.
Running straight into Eric as I left Pam’s room.
“Oh…Good Morning.” I said, red-faced to his quizzical look.
I looked to the door and back to him.
“This is not what it looks like.”
“What does it look like?” He smirked.
“That I’m exiting Pam’s bedroom at dawn after… a night in there. That is what it isn’t. I assure you.”
He pursed his lips, a twinkle of something in his eyes, and that smirk ever ready.
“Are you sure? I mean it was not the first place my mind went, but perhaps it should have been.”
His tone was mocking.
He was making fun of my embarrassment.
I got mad, and fast.
“No it most certainly is not where it should go. Just because Pam and I had…” I gestured, unable to get the words out, frustrating me even more. “Does not mean that I am some philandering –“
“Sookie,” He said, calm and low before he leaned in and kissed me, silencing my rambles. “Good Morning.”
As I pulled back and fought the urge to just melt into a tiny puddle of Sookie goo, I relaxed as he smiled.
“You’re up awfully early, Pam doesn’t usually surface until noon, does she need dressed at dawn?”
“No, I was in there annoying her, truth be told. I had things to get off my chest.”
With that his eyes travelled to said chest, and in a no-so-subtle way, he ogled with both brows raised comically, and smiled again his eyes meeting mine.
I just shook my head at his silliness, ignoring the fact that he was standing there in just his long underwear, and a vest. His arms and collar bone really were a sight.
“Why are you awake?”
“I was thirsty; I went to the kitchen for some water.” He made his point by holding up a glass filled with water.
With that a wild haired Pam opened her bedroom door.
“Hello, hi there, it’s six am, could you two go flirt somewhere else please? Thank you.”
With that she closed the door, but a second later, opened it.
“On second thoughts, sod the flirting, you could just go back there and get naked and get down to business? We all know you both want to, so could you please spare us – and by us, I mean the world – the bother of wondering and just go do it so I can get back to sleep without the sound of you two pretending to be coy around each other?”
My mouth fell agape, as Eric just burst out laughing as she closed the door again.
He then held his hand over, signally me to go in that direction. The direction of his room. Wordlessly, in fear of the wrath of Pam again, we moved to his softly lit room where the drapes were still drawn shut and only one oil lamp lit the room from his bedside.
“She really hates to be woken up before her time, I’ve learned that.” I said taking a seat on his messed bed as he put his water by the lamp and sat next to me.
“One time, we were travelling from Sweden, and the journey was hell for her, she slept almost twenty four hours, I started to worry that she was dead. Now I’ve learned to just let her awake from her death sleep on her own, her snippy tone is almost too much sometimes.”
“I just want you to know that my being intimate with Pam, it in no way diminished what I felt for you.”
His face dropped.
“And feel,” I confirmed just in case he was thinking my feelings were solely past tense. “But at the time it was not about much else other than allowing me to feel better, feel free, calm, and loved. And I felt all those things with Pam, but that’s not to say I don’t feel them with you, even if we weren’t there yet.”
“There are many different kinds of love, I love Pam in my own way, our history is messy but we pulled through as friends, as family. And I see how Pam loves you and you her, I admit I felt… I love very few people Sookie, but those I do hold dearly to my heart I do not wish to lose.”
“How did you feel?” I probed.
“Honestly? Threatened. Pamela is so free and adventurous, I used to be too… but now I have seemed to have lost some of that and I know how appealing it is.”
I shook my head as he moved to the side of the bed, lying down. Was I to lie down too? What was happening here?
I didn’t dare panic, I knew I was safe with him, but it did not mean I was not anxious. Instead I ignored my over active brain and just laid down next to him, it felt natural and comforting.
“Eric, you’re right. I want what I feel for you to be real, I want it to be as real as you in front of me now, but I fear it cannot truly be real until you know everything. So yes
I do love Pam, and she has taught me so much and showed me so much in such a short space of time. But how I feel for her is nothing on how I feel for you. What I feel when you’re around,” I sighed, I never could put this into words that did it justice. “Nothing compares to it, nothing.”
He turned to me, his previous attentions focused on the roof.
“Yes, really. I would not have risked all I have to tell you the truth if I did not know you were a worthy, decent man, one that I love.”
There I had said it. We had both danced around those words for a long time, but it also felt good to confess.
He smiled, big and wide as he slid his arm around my back, pulling me beside him in a big bearlike cuddle. His lips went to my temple, and then to my ear, “I love you, Sookie, Susannah, whatever name you choose. I love you.”
I kissed him then, and it seemed as if we’d stepped into our own little bubble in that moment, him holding me, placing the blankets around us both and allowing us both to drift off to sleep in the others arms. It was heaven.
I woke up with the sun peeking through the minute space in the shuddered windows, I had lost all track of time, and who could blame me really, as I looked to the woman sleeping soundly in my arms. I took in her smell, one that smelled of summer, and soap and something that reminded me of mint. I noted her hair, long and soft, tussled around her like a security blanket of sorts, framing her pretty perfect face. I rarely saw her hair like it was, with her job she perfected a neat appearance, her hair always tied back and away from her face. I found I liked being one of few that got to see her like this. I slipped out of bed and into my clothes, before tip toeing out of the room to the kitchen, where I was met with a rather surprised looking Lafayette.
“Eric Northman, it has been a long while my friend.” He said as we embraced each other in a hug, a manly hug, very manly. Lafayette was not one for a simple handshake with anyone. I smiled; I had missed him, his humour and his wisdom in my absence.
“How are you, Lafayette. It is so good to see you doing well.”
He nodded and we fell into conversation about what we had been up to in the pervious few years since we had last seen each other. He was seeing someone again, this time he was not a married man, and with that we both breathed a sigh of relief. He seemed happy, content and busy.
“Am I interrupting?”
“No, not at all, I told Sookie I would deliver her baked goods for her today, I have not seen her around this morning; Lord knows where she’s gone off to.”
He looked at me, coyly.
“Oh… it’s like that is it? Well I never.”
“It’s not like anything. Sookie and I care very much about each other if you must know.”
“I am the last person to judge you, friend, but you know I wouldn’t be the first. Given the …circumstances.”
“I know, I don’t care what people say.”
He smiled then, “Well, good for you both then. Excellent, this war, its changing people and I hope it changes the world for the better. As it stands the poker the world has up its sizable arse is just unacceptable.”
He always could make me laugh, that’s for sure.
“Where’s Pam?” I realized it was just before noon.
“Oh, she left early. I had to help her with her buttons, but she left a note on the fireplace for Sookie. Something wrong?”
“Not that I know of…” I mused over her mood, and it wasn’t like Pam to leave without a scene, or at the very least fishing for compliments on her clothing before she left the house. I fixed myself and Sookie a plate of the food sitting waiting in the oven, and I warmed some bread too, as Lafayette excused himself to ‘pop’ into town.
I took pleasure in bring her food since I so often would receive my meals from her, it felt nice to reciprocate when I was allowed.
I got back upstairs to find her still asleep, though she woke when I sat on the bed again.
“I didn’t mean to sleep so late… what time is it?”
“Just after noon.”
“Oh God!” She shot up and I shushed her.
“Pam’s gone out you can relax, she left you this by the way, and Lafayette didn’t know where she went.”
She looked at the tray in surprise.
“You did this?”
“Well, honestly the food was cooked but I warmed the bread and didn’t burn it. Lafayette did the rest.” I said as proud of myself as I could be, I did not have the best track record in that kitchen.
I saw her cheeks pinken as she took the envelope, “So Lafayette knows I’m…”
“Oh… okay. Well, thank you this is very sweet.” She blushed further, as she opened the note.
“She says she’s gone to visit a friend, an Ellen Jolie?”
“She was one of Pam’s … lady friends if you know what I mean.”
“Ah. She says she did not want to wake me, she says she’s not that cruel.” She laughed, “That she’ll be back in two days, and the dinner party is to still go ahead as planned. Hm.”
“She’s having another party?”
“Yes, this one is for some woman called Nora.”
I groaned. Not Nora. Anyone but her.
“Well not if you keep your wits about you, she’s rather full on in her desires.”
Her eyes widened.
“I’ve seen a few of those since I moved here; Pam really does have a diverse group of friends, doesn’t she?” She smiled, putting the note aside and taking a bite of the bread and some bacon. I dug in too, I was starving. We ate in relative peaceful silence, each of us almost sneaking a glance at the other from time to time. I got up then to move the tray from the bed, and open the shudders. The mid September air was muggy at best, fresh air was necessary. I looked back to see her sitting, legs crossed in the middle of my bed.
“What should we do today then?” I asked, I knew what I really wanted to do, but I also wasn’t pushing things. She and I had had a dramatic twenty-four hours, and if she did not want to rush, then neither did I. however what happened next assure me that we weren’t just on the same page of understanding, but also of want. She pushed herself up to her knees, and held out her hand. I came to her with no hesitation, as she pulled back the sheets and made space for me.
“This.” She said, kissing me softly, coaxing me onto the bed with her, I too, on my knees next to her.
My hands went to her neck, trailing up and down, through her hair and down to her narrow shoulders, her hands went to the hem of my night shirt, and she lifted it without so much a look of hesitation in her eyes.
“You sure?” I asked, mostly because I wasn’t sure my heart could take it if we started and stopped half way there. I wanted to be with her more than I had ever any other woman; the urge to just take her was almost too great. But, I knew I did not want to plough through and ruin what I hoped to be our first of many times together.
She simply nodded, as she began undoing the buttons on her nightgown, exposing her soft pale skin, inch by inch.
My fingers threaded in her hair pulling her in for a kiss, making her moan slightly as I did so, the sound going straight through me – before I went to the hem of her gown and did what she had done for me, and stripped it gently from her body.
I drank in the image before me, her delicate collarbone, her smooth arms, and how perfect and inviting her breasts really were outside of my imagination. I closed my eyes when her nimble fingers hit the waistband of my underwear, enjoying the feel of her hands there before she pushed them down my waist and I laid down on top of her, just losing myself in her kiss and her touch. I kicked off my underwear, becoming completely open to her and what we were about to do. I loved her, and I loved that she trusted me enough to want this with me in that moment. I let out a sigh of sheer pleasure as she worked me up and down, her grip tight but not painful; the soft warm feeling of having another woman’s touch after so long was almost overwhelming. I buried my face in her neck, after the few moments I needed to get used to the sensory overload I was beginning to experience. I touched her neck, and her soft but heavy breasts, before allowing myself to taste her skin as my hands took on a life of their own and began to roam in exploration. The little moans and murmurs that would escape her when I finally touched her sex, it was a sound I knew I would never grow tired of hearing. She was soft and wet, and so warm, it was inviting like nothing else on earth had ever been and as I worked her up like she had been working me up, and we both began to get more and more erratic in our movements, in our touch. Things went from slow and gentle to manic and head spinning in what seemed like no time at all. We had waited a long time, months and months of unresolved tensions, desires, thoughts all cultivating in this union. It was simply glorious.
Her lips and hands seemed to be everywhere at once as she moved to roll us over, leaving her straddling me, her hair in her way for a second or two, before she sat up straight and pushed it all back, allowing me easy and amazing access to those breasts of hers. She muttered something I did not fully hear, before she shifted, taking me in her hands again her eyes meeting him.
“I am trusting you, Eric.”
“You know you must stop before you –“
“I know, I will, I promise.” We were taking a huge risk, doing what we were doing with our circumstances as shaky as they were, but I loved her and now I knew she felt the same, the rest was just detail. And as I worked between her legs ensuring her readiness for me, watching her with her eyes closed and mouth open in pleasure, I knew that we would work those details out because this is what we both wanted, this is where we both needed to be.
Moving inside her, making love with her, listening to her moan and watching her bite into her lip to stop her noises, feeling her grasp at my body, the sheets, all of it was an overwhelming, electrifying heaven that I never wanted to leave.
“I really do love you.” She murmured, into my ear as we continued the rhythm we’d found fairly quickly, a rhythm that was rapid coming to the point of no return, and I knew I had to pull out, I had to, even if it was the last thing on earth my brain wanted me to do. I wanted to come inside, feel her body twitch around mine, I wanted it all, but having it all came with bigger risks, risks I would take but I knew she wasn’t ready for and since it was a bigger deal for her, ultimately understood that. So, I pulled out as she shuddered around me, and it took every inch of my willpower to do so, and I watched her shake and suck her lips between her teeth once more. Without so much as skipping a beat, she took me in her hands again, and generously began to finish me off; as I came I was seeing stars and swearing words, creating a bit of a mess in doing so. There was sweat and heat from all directions, and I was sure whoever was passing by the house just got a rather unexpected audio show that afternoon, but as I all but collapsed beside her, I cared not for anyone else in the world but her. She giggled as she flicked my hair from my brow, and slid in next to me, her body as hot as mine felt, her breathing just as erratic. We must have looked like fools, her hair was in a tizzy, as I was sure my own was, our skin red and both of us sated with what I was sure amounted to very silly looks on both our faces. But neither of us cared, not one little bit.
“I love you, too.” I answered her finally as she giggled, taking my hand and threading it with her own.
“We can do this, right? We can make this, whatever we are, work for us?” She asked, examining my hands.
“You’re damn right we can. No matter what.” I kissed her hand to make my point.
We were full of hope then, and as the old saying went, hope did spring eternal. And for us it did. But reality for us would be like a lead balloon to our floating hope, one way or another; someone would always try and bring it down.
A/N: Well, was it worth it? 😉