What happens when your Besties turn into Bitchies?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, since it’s one of the themes that I’m writing about at the moment. When old friendships change, for whatever reason, what do you do?
No, seriously, what do you do when this happens? When someone you’ve been friends with for years suddenly up and turns around and suddenly they’re this bitch, no longer your best. I have been dealing with this issue for a while now. First with a friend that I had been close friends with since I was five years old, so for about twenty years.
When I type it out it becomes sort of frightening, most of my life, and then boom, sorry, bye.
I still don’t get it. And I think the confusion is what messes me up the most. If there had been a valid reason for it, I would be fine, but there was nothing. No argument, no this or that, nothing, speaking one day, two years later- nadda.
I mean, I get it now. She wanted attention, she wanted me to be the one running after her assuming I had done something wrong and making all the effort to give that attention, and when I didn’t? She cut me out, or I cut her out, or we cut each other out.
See? Still not so sure.
What I am sure of is that she did this to another friend, but she was far more forgiving than I. She has now become friends with this mutual friend again, after her cutting her out of her life for 2 + years too. I can’t abide this, it’s beyond stupid. But now ex-friend and mutual friend (whom I was v close with, and would have considered her my best friend) has now also stopped talking to me, under the direction (as I’ve been told) from ex-friend. A person whom I was there for when literally no one else was in her many times of need.
These are grown women. These are mothers!
The levels of maturity are just staggeringly low.
And my confusion continues.
I should say ‘fuck it, fuck you’ and move on. But what happens when you’ve been good to people, really there for them when no one else was, and then they aren’t there for you?
Is it just one of life’s lessons that I have to learn? Stop being so trusting, so soft, so idiotic and giving people the benefit of many doubts? Or is it something else?
See? Still not sure.
I just know that when people said your 20s is one of the hardest ten years you will go through, I figured they meant with work, and boyfriends betraying you, and the recession, falling in and out of lust and love, or even something else. I never for a minute considered, that it would be the friendships you spent decade building that would turn around and be so false. That it would be those people that, because they have nothing bad on you, resort to making up slanderous lies about you and spreading them to your other friends, lies about all manner of hurtful things. It sucks, and it’s one of the worst feelings because while you know it’s all lies, the fact that those people who you thought knew you better than almost anyone believes them, you start to question everything.
If you can’t trust your friends, who exactly can you trust?
Or can you ever really fully trust anyone?
It may be cynical, but I don’t think you can, not really. And I think in the next few years as I exit my 20s, I really just hope to not have to re-learn that lesson with anyone else in my life.
This has been a post.
Ps. NSGE coming up soon! xox