“Sookie, this is Jonas, and Lucas, Emil, and Emilie – they are twins you see? That is Sara, and that there is Rita, and over by the bar is Ina.”
Everyone was looking at me. Most of them were smiling.
“Any ex girlfriends I need to know about?” I whispered, as he leaned down and took my hand.
“I have dated all of them. The women. The men? I played football with them and we have been boys together.”
All of them? I felt myself cringe a little at that. They were gorgeous, and mostly blonde, and I really didn’t get why he hadn’t just chosen one of them.
He didn’t though, and I soon found out they were all very friendly with him, but as friends. And they were all awfully nice and welcoming to me. Possibly a little too welcoming for my tastes. It was just so strange, really. At home, we avoided our exes the majority of the time. We didn’t buddy up and introduce them to the newbies, happily. So happily, might I add, that they were buying me drinks and looking genuinely interested in who I was to Erik. They would occasionally switch to Swedish conversation, but for the most part, they kept to English, I assumed out of manners for me. It was sweet of them, and I was thankful to feel so included so quickly. It wasn’t what I was expecting at all. In fact none of them were what I expected. Even if I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect at all! Ina in particular, she was full of information about Erik. They had dated as teens, and he was still close with her family, she asked if we’d been seeing each other long, and when I responded that we hadn’t, she just winked and told me that I was ‘in for a good time’. Needless to say I needed a shot or two after that.
Of course not being a big drinker, and walking into a bar full of overly friendly people that could probably bankrupt a brewery, I was out of my depth. And, I was drunk very quickly compared to the others. Being drunk, it made me more aware of Erik, how I very much wanted to have a ‘good time’ with him, and soon. If all the tidbits about him were true, I really wanted to experience him ‘like that’. Without my inhibitions I felt very little fear where my desires for Erik were concerned, and without that fear I just let go.
“Do you want to go somewhere and just talk for a little while? Before we go home?” I asked, tipping back the rest of my beer. “Since your grandparents are at home?”
Had I been anywhere near my usual self, I wouldn’t have believed my own ears, but, I was tired of being my same old virginal self. And there was hunk of a man next to me that wanted me in all the ways I wanted him. I was simply tired of denying myself that right.
He gave me a knowing smile having downed a few beers at a rate that I was sure would impress my brother, he was a little wonky, but not at all drunk. “I have just the place for us.”
The moon was high over the water, at the rocky place on the coast that he chose to take me. It was the kind of incredibly beautiful image you hoped you could hold onto forever, and the sound of the gentle sea lapping at the shore was like something out of a dream.
“I come here sometimes, to think. It’s straight across to Canada from here,” Erik said quietly. “My ancestors looked out from places like this and had no idea what was out there, sea monsters, or the end of the world, but they still went bravely, and had adventures.”
“I think I’m up for a bit of an adventure,” I said, smiling at him as I unbuckled my seat-belt, and turned to face him. “I like you. Very much. You’re not like a lot of other men I’ve met.”
He smiled and unbuckled his seat-belt as well. “What do you mean?”
“There’s a goodness in you. I don’t know. You’re such a man, but you’re gentle.” In a lot of ways he wasn’t what I was expecting at all.
“I have been raised by many women,” he said with a grin. “It is not weak to be gentle.”
I reached for his shirt and pulled him towards me, enough that our noses were touching.
“Will you be gentle with me?” I whispered, pressing my lips against his.
“If you want me to be, I will be whatever you need,” he replied, leaning his back against the window and pulling me towards him, onto his lap. “I have another place I usually go to kiss.”
“This isn’t the kiss beach?”
“This is the thoughtful beach.” His experienced hands made quick work of my cardigan, before tentatively moving up my t-shirt. “But maybe for tonight, we can think together.”
His hands felt like they were cool and on fire at the same time as he exposed my stomach, and then my upper body to the damp sea air since he’d rolled down the passenger window.
“Can anyone hear us out here?”
He shook his head. “It’s like we’re the only people.”
I let him take charge, and piece by piece, our clothing made its way into a heap on the bench seat beside me, and we were both next to naked in just our bottoms, my confidence greatly improved by both the number of drinks I’d had, and Erik’s very favourable reactions to my touch.
“There is not much room in this truck,” he chuckled. “It is not the ideal place.”
“It’s okay,” I giggled back. “It’s quiet, and for a boy, your truck is very clean.”
I reached for him, and when my fingers wrapped around what he was packing, my eyes went a little wide.
He wasn’t kidding when he’d made mention of size earlier. Not even a little.
“If it’s too soon,” he whispered. “It’s not something we have to do right now.”
“I want to,” I whispered back. “And I want you to come home with me. When you can. If you want.”
He smiled a huge smile. The kind that would dim the sun.
An open truck door, and some adjustment later, I found my legs dangling over Erik’s shoulders, and my senses overwhelmed entirely by the cool air and his warm mouth. Erik was very good at what he did. At everything he did. A perfectionist, even. My mind was reeling as I felt his mouth on me, working me into a tizzy with just his tongue and his amazingly talented mouth. He wasn’t holding back, and it seemed the more I squirmed or moaned, the more encouraged he got.
I thought about telling him, what felt like a million times. As he kissed me, as he touched me, or as he moved on top of me and reached for a condom in his glove compartment. However, I knew it would change the moment a lot, and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want it to be about me. I wanted it to be about us.
Even though at fifteen, I’d sworn I’d never lose my virginity in a truck.
How times changed.
“You will tell me to stop, if you need,” he whispered, kissing my ear in a way that made me tingle all over. “It’s…it has happened before.”
“I think I’ll be okay,” I said, putting on a brave face to hide my complete and utter terror. “We can try.”
He kissed me again, softly, sweetly, but with more passion that I could recall ever being kissed with before, as he began to push inside me.
I cried out, biting my lip in the hopes of stopping myself from doing so again. He stilled, looking me right in the eyes.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded. My lip still firmly planted between my teeth.
“I’m fine, just… go slow. Be…”
He pushed again, and it stung and I felt myself tense up, I knew he felt it too.
“Sookie are you -”
“I’m okay…” I answered, though, that may not have been his question. “Just, give me a minute to get used to this, it’s… you’re… well…” I fell off my train of thought as he gently thrusted once, and then I felt his hand slip from my cheek to my neck, from my breast to my thighs and finally inside me too. He began gently massaging me with his fingers before he would gently move inside me again, his fingers long and nimble to belong such manly hands, I thought. But those hands helped me relax, his kisses helped to ease the pain, and soon, it didn’t hurt as much, it didn’t sting or feel uncomfortable as it had when we started. Slowly the pain and discomfort subsided and I started to relax a little. It felt… good. And then, then it began to feel really good. Then somewhere along the line, I was able to find my sea legs, so to speak, enough at least to participate, and feeling really good turned into feeling fucking amazing.
Erik was mumbling things in Swedish that I didn’t understand, as he kissed me softly, bracing himself above me. His arms flanking my head at either side, before it would move to touch me again, then back again to keep his balance. We were both breathless, in what had to be the best possible way, and it felt like my heart was going to jump right out of my chest too, but in a way that I never wanted to end.
“Vacker, Sookie. Så vacker,” he whispered, gently kissing my neck. His soft touch such a dichotomy in his nature, this strong manly man, with his hardworking hands and well defined arms, but the softest touch I’d ever felt on my skin. It was wonderful.
I thought I was too tense to orgasm, I thought I was too scared to really let go that much, but as it turns out, Erik’s touch put all those doubts at ease as I slipped over the edge of sensations that built from within me so perfectly, that went I fell, it felt as if I were floating and falling all at once. It was unlike any other orgasm I’d ever experienced, granted most of those before, were alone.
I knew if I’d done this at fifteen in the back of Hoyt Fortenberry’s truck, it wouldn’t have been half so amazing.
It was too dark to see much of what was going on, and I was fairly terrified that I’d bled all over him, and the car, and that it was going to be humiliating and embarrassing as soon as we got in the light, and I actually had to look at him, but it wasn’t.
It was normal. Not a single spot in the truck. He smiled, and helped me out, and we quietly snuck inside.
It was over, just like that.
I wanted to do it again. And again.
“Your hands, they’re very frisky,” Erik whispered, as I slid my hands into his back pockets on our way up the stairs. “I like this.”
“Will you grandparents hear us?” I whispered back, leaning against his back. “If we’re quiet?”
“Not here,” he said, raising his eyebrows as he shook his head. “I don’t here.”
“Oh,” I said, pulling my hands out of his pockets. “Sorry, I didn’t know–”
“It’s okay,” he whispered back. “We will go and be together in another way.”
I’d heard lots of things over the years about men falling asleep right after, but Erik seemed quite interested in kissing, and cuddling, which eventually turned into fondling at four in the morning until he fell asleep with his face on my breast and I pondered on life as an ex-virgin. I was also quick to tug my shirt down before I passed out myself, not wanting his grandma to see me exposed.
“Will you marry this one?” Grandad asked me, a knowing smile on his face as we performed our morning ritual of preparing the table for Grandmother’s breakfast. “She is a very nice girl.”
I smiled. “She is a very nice girl. I don’t know what her plans are though, but I know she likes me enough -”
“Enough is sometimes good, but sometimes not good enough. You do not marry ‘like’, Erik. To marry, you marry for love.”
“I know that, you’ve always told me that.” I nodded earnestly. “And I want to be married like you and Grandma.”
“You want to wake up to the same old fart for sixty years?” Grandma chuckled. “Who wishes for that?”
I didn’t miss the adoring look she gave Grandpa.
I wondered if this was something you could do so soon, or if it was better to wait until some more time had passed. Time was only the chance to think about things too much, and then have questions and doubts apart from what your heart said.
I wanted her shy hands to grow comfortable with me, and for her to tell me all her secrets and dreams, and for us to enjoy growing familiar with each other.
Sookie was shy when she came down, a little while later, and she greeted my grandparents, and gave me a look which erased any lasting doubts I had about her intentions with my body.
It was a look of much affection. A very nice look indeed.
“What are we doing today?” she asked quietly, after she’d helped my grandmother with the dishes.
“I think you must meet my parents,” I said, with a sigh. “My mother, she will make us dinner, and ask you many questions.”
“That’s okay,” she said with a grin. “I will answer all her questions.”
I reached for her hands. “Before that though, I have another plan.”
I wanted her to go on the water with me, and trust me. I hoped after last night, I would be able to convince her.
I wanted the trust.
She swallowed when we approached the wharf and the bigger boat that my friend Anders owned, and I borrowed sometimes. “Erik…I don’t know…”
I smiled. “We’ll just go and sit, and if you want, we can not leave the dock. Only sit. I think you will like it though.”
Sookie’s face went very white, and she looked at me, her blue eyes very sad. “Erik…my parents’ drowned and died when I was young. I really don’t like the water.”
Suddenly I felt very bad, because I didn’t know all the things, and when Sookie started to cry a little, I felt even worse.
“We don’t have to…I didn’t know.” I reached for her hands. “I thought I could help you, and there could be trust.”
She took a deep breath. “I’ll…go. I want to go. I’m just afraid.”
I reached behind the seat and pulled out something that I thought might help. “It’s a life jacket. I have two. We will just go and sit. It’s bigger, so not so scary?”
She held my arm tightly as we walked down the dock, and I carefully helped her into the cockpit, where we sat, unmoving while she caught her breath.
“This…it isn’t so bad.”
“Land is just around the corner. It’s very safe,” I said reassuringly, squeezing her hand. “But we can just sit here if you want.”
She nodded, and looked around, taking in all of the surroundings. “The water sounds nice on the boat.”
I beamed at her. “Do you want to go for a little ride? We will go very slow.”
After some time, she didn’t want to go so slow, and her camera phone came out, and she took many pictures of the birds and other sea things, and the coast with a big smile on her face.
“It’s beautiful out here!” she shouted. “I never would have seen this!”
“This is what I see all the time! It’s very nice! You want to drive the boat?” I shouted back to her, slowing down a little.
She steered the boat well, positioning herself on my lap, in a way that was very nice and comfortable for both of us. She laughed big and loud and genuine, something I found I loved the sound of. I wanted to hear it often.
I was getting used to this. To us together. It was a short time, but many special feelings were happening.
Special feelings I wanted to grow, and I thought she did as well.
I decided I would take my money and buy a ring for her, and ask her to be my wife.