Spending some normal time with Sam had been just what I had needed. We saw a mindless comedy and ate far too much food; I was on a sugar high most of the night after that. We talked out a lot of his recent developments too, how things were going with Luna mostly, and what it was like to be a sort-of second dad to Emma. He loved it, he said she was just his kind of crazy, and the fact that they were both Supes didn’t hurt the dynamic either. It got me thinking again to my own situation, was a vampire the only person for me because they were the only ones silent to my gift? I thought for a long time Bill was it, he was my number one and he would be my only one, but thinking on who I was then to who I was now, it was like I was a different person. I hoped that I was less naïve, but that my heart was still as big as my Gran had taught me to keep it. I had hoped that I was smarter now; more aware at least, I knew my trust was not as easily given now, and a part of that made me sad. Of course, my thoughts were filled with Eric, how could they not be. Ever since I had met this enigma of a vamp, he had flooded my brain one way or another. Either it was in saucy dreams, or in waking time with banter and baiting me like a fish on a hook to his sarcasm.
I had once swore, even to Eric’s face that old Eric never had a shot with me, but then Eric with his memories was still Eric, just more. It was still a fine line, the fully powered millennium old Eric was the one that seemed so cruel and unfeeling. The one that without a second thought chained my friend up in his basement.
Then again, also this same Eric was the one that saved my other friend from final death by giving her, through his child, eternal ‘not’ life, but the closest thing to it. If Lafayette could forgive him, why couldn’t I? Was it even about forgiveness? I was being truthful when I said that a part of me had always wanted him, how could I not. I was a red-blooded woman with eyes, and a vagina. I had wanted him even when Bill was working overtime to convince me he was the devil incarnate. I had never once stopped to consider that perhaps this was all his doing, that had Bill not been niggling in my ear about him and Pam I might have been capable of forming my own Bill-unbiased opinions about him from the get-go. I guess now I would never really know. All I did know was that I still felt for him, the fully powered up Eric, what I felt for ‘my Eric, and that in itself was a terrifying reality. I honestly didn’t think I would feel the same, but I did because I could see that good man behind the leather and the walls that Eric had to put up to have survived as long as he has. The internal debate on what to do with those feelings, as well as the rest of the massive change that was happening inside me was all just a little overwhelming.
I had just slipped off my shoes, turned on the TV and curled myself up on the sofa when a soft knock came to my door. I knew it wasn’t Jason, he never bothered to knock and everyone else I knew was busy, or dead.
Wow, that was a sad realisation.
It was Eric, looking rather forlorn and if I wasn’t mistaken, he was limping.
Vampires didn’t limp!
“I don’t have the keys to your car, I kind of hotwired it.” I admitted on opening the door to him, assuming he was there to pick up his very swank, very expensive toy.
“I don’t care about the car, I came to see you.”
Was it wrong that that statement made my heart skip several beats?
Then suddenly, I didn’t really get the chance to respond because he just marched on in, reached for my neck and softly pulled me to him for the most toe curling kiss I could remember ever receiving.
He had reached for me with such urgency but it somehow felt as if he was holding me with care, for someone of such power he seemed willing to give it up to kiss me. He tasted like Eric, which was of nothing in particular and a tiny hint of mint. I had never given the dental habits of vampires much thought before, but it made sense that they would brush after every ‘meal’. Other than that, Eric smelled clean, like fabric softener and something else that I assumed was his subtle choice in cologne. He really did smell like the ocean in winter.
I had no idea what had brought this on, but in the moment I wasn’t going to question it, instead I gripped him back just as urgently, my fingers clinging into the soft leather of his sleeves.
When we stopped, I stepped back steadying myself on wobbly legs, his eyes still fixed on me I was struggling to breathe I was that overwhelmed.
He looked rather pleased with himself. Of course I would too if I had managed to kiss someone into a stupor.
“Then what are you doing there…here?” I attempted to ask and he just smirked.
“I want you to be honest with me, Sookie.”
“How you feel, how you feel about me, now.”
“Well I feel that if there were ever a kissing contest you’d win hands down.” I tried to shrug it off as I moved to the couch, trying to put a little physical distance between us.
“Stop it, you know what I mean. Not so long ago you said that you loved me…”
“Yes, and you said the same, we also… I also said that I didn’t want anyone getting anymore hurt over me, I love you, I do –“
“But you still love Compton, and I still don’t know how that is even possible!” He added angrily.
“And I don’t understand how you don’t understand!” I bellowed back. “Bill was my first love – “
“First doesn’t mean only.”
“No, I know that, but there is still a part of me that is confused about everything where he is concerned and I just…”
He came closer to me then, and like always, his presence so close was overwhelming.
“Do you still want to be … his? To be with him again? Because if that’s what you want, while I will never understand it…”
“I don’t know!”
“How can you not know! Jesus Sookie, it is simple, I love you and I cannot imagine loving someone else the way I love you even for a second. I have never let…” He reined himself back and I really wished he hadn’t. I wanted to know all that was going on inside his head in the hopes of sorting out what was going on inside mine.
We looked at each other and I knew my eyes were as full of unspoken emotion as his were, I hated this, I hated the uncertainty of it all. However, I willed myself not to cry.
“How can you love him, after everything…” he trailed off before turning from me, running his hand through his hair. I could feel the anger almost radiating off him from where I stood.
I noticed the limping again.
“You’re hurt, how is that possible?”
He ignored me, choosing instead to scowl in my general direction.
“Yes, if you must know. I failed to heal completely after my little flight through my house last night and my subsequent blackout.”
“Is there pain? I mean… no offense but I aimed at your head.”
“It travelled through me; there is a burn of sorts.”
My eyes widened. Not only had I hurt him and left him blacked out but now there was still evidence of my move on him?
“Can I …” this was awkward, we were in the middle of yet another heat-filled argument and I wanted to see his boo-boo? Eh. In for Penny…
“Let me see it.”
He folded his arms, sort of like a scowled child.
“Over a thousand years old and ‘because’ is the best you can come up with?”
He merely rolled his eyes, followed me to the couch where he sat down before yanking up the bottom of his jeans. Sure enough, there it was a burn, one that seemed to have a core that was much worse looking than the rest of it. If I had to guess I would say it was about the size of a fist on his calve.
“Oh my goodness, Eric. I am so sorry. Again.”
He shook his head as he covered the wound. A wounded vampire, because of me!
“It will be fine.”
“And if it’s not? You can’t meet the Authority limping, they’ll know for sure shit has hit the fan!”
We were both silent then and I knew what I wanted to do.
“I want you to take some of my blood.”
He looked at me then, sharply.
“And just why not?”
Was that not good enough either, all of a sudden.
“Because, dearest Tink, we have spent enough time on the topic of me wanting you solely for your blood, this would just be a step in the wrong direction.”
“And now is about us stepping in the right directions?”
“You may not know what you want, Sookie. But I know, I have known for a long time, since before your little trip I knew.”
“What you knew then was you wanted to have sex with me, don’t pretend that was love.”
“It might not have been all I feel now, but it was some of it, I was just unwilling to admit to anyone, including myself.”
“And you can admit it now because?”
With that, his eyes softened.
“Because, you’ve seen me at my weakest, you took me in and you protected me when I was… so very lost in more ways than one. I can admit it because it’s what I feel and I am no longer unwilling to lie to myself or to you about what that is.”
Well if that was not straight forward, I was not sure what was. He was again, so unlike Bill in this way. I knew it was wrong to keep comparing the two of them, but how could I not? Bill was not just the only man I had been with, but the only vampire also. Eric was a man and a vampire I had then been with after, they might have been penis-having-non-breathers but that is where the similarities ended.
It wasn’t fair to him or us to keep doing it.
“I do know that you… that the blood isn’t your only … you know… concern where you know… I’m concerned.” Smooth Sook. “I just don’t want you walking around like this, if humans see it, or if another vampire smells it…” he knew I was right I could see the change in resolve in his face.
“Have you fed lately?”
Did I really have the right to ask or assume if he had fed and fucked? I did not think I had the right but it did not stop me thinking it.
My head was so messed up.
“Not lately, no.”
“So then this would help?”
He nodded as he licked his lips discreetly. My heart quickened at the sight.
I stood up, my resolve clear.
“Okay, I agree to do this so there is no confusion, I completely agree.”
He stood too and our height difference was never more apparent as I looked up to see his face. There we stood, both in black. Him in his uniform of black jeans, t-shirt, and mixed fabric leather jacket that looked so good on him it was criminal.
My heart was beating so hard that I could feel myself getting worked up and we hadn’t even touched. I was remembering the last time Eric had fed from me and what happened when he offered me his blood. It had been the most intense, oddly erotic moment of my life, and we weren’t even having sex.
“Where do you want it?” I asked and caught myself when he smirked and cocked his brow. I stammered. “I mean… wrist or neck or…” No, nowhere else! “You know wrist or neck.”
“Neck, if you don’t mind.”
I didn’t. I SO didn’t.
I simply shook my head, moving my hair to the one side out of his way, he took a step closer to me and his smell wrapped itself around my senses. He tilted my head to the side a little before bending his upper half to meet my neck. I felt his nose skim along the soft skin; I heard him inhale slightly, before his hand snuck around to my back and pulled me roughly, plush against him.
I gasped despite myself.
I heard his fangs pop and I instantly wanted it all, like I was an addict and he was my fix, I just wanted it all. When he sunk his teeth into me in that delicate, careful but oh-so-sharp way he did I gasped again and he moaned as he pulled me tighter against him and he sucked my blood so neatly without so much as spilling a drop. I felt his warm tongue lap against my skin, felt his grip on my hip, and felt the sudden but very present hardness from his pants against my body as we all but grinded against each other.
When we pulled back the bulge in his pants was even more evident, and his eyes were glazed over. His teeth snapped back and he wiped his mouth deftly. I was throbbing, and it wasn’t just my heart.
“I …um…” I began but I forgot how to words.
“Yes. Thank you for… that.” He let his teeth down again this time to prick his finger.
“No? Sookie, people will see.”
“The blood…” I was trying to stay vamp red bull free.
“It only heals the wound, it won’t really affect you.”
“You sure? All I did before was suck some bullets out of you and I had dreams about you for months.”
He smirked before mockingly crossing his heart before touching his bites and healing me right up.
“A lot of dreams?”
I rolled my eyes causing him to just chortle. How had he this ability to make me horny and mad all at the same damn time? Only then did I notice that his hand was still resting on my hip, I looked at it and then back to his face. I knew what I wanted in the moment, I think we all knew what we wanted in the moment, but it was beyond that that scared me. This time I wanted to be clear before I made an embarrassing move on him again.
“Do I have to have all the answers right this second?”
He shook his head gently, a ‘no’, before leaning in, his grip on my hip tightening. It almost felt as if there was electricity in the air as his lips hit mine, just as a hard knock came to the door jolting us apart.
“This is not happening.” He muttered as the knocking continued.
I pulled away and leaned over to look.
It was Alcide.
Great, just great.
I looked at Eric apologetically before I smoothed down my hair and fixed my dress before I got to the door. Eric simply walked into the kitchen.
“Alcide, hi.” I smiled manically.
“Hey there Sook, I was just checking if everything was okay with you?”
“Yeah, fine… why?”
He sighed, standing there all big and tall and in his plaid and dirty jeans. He ran his hand through his thick dark hair and I noticed how weary he looked.
“It’s just Debbie has gone AWOL, and I know things between y’all haven’t been the easiest. I think she’s using again, and in that mood I wondered if she might have stopped here?”
My heart speeded up, this time for less than pleasurable reasons. I hated lying but I couldn’t be honest with him. I just couldn’t. Not now.
I smiled bigger, wider, I knew how nuts I looked.
“Nope, not seen her.”
I knew he was angling for an invite, but I was just a little busy.
“Oh, okay, well, if you do see her…”
“I’ll call you, but honestly I don’t know where she is.”
There, the one piece of truth, I really did not know where she was now.
When I walked back inside I found Eric leaning against the sink, his arms folded an annoyed look on his beautiful face. For a second I just stood there, and in that second he somehow washed whatever doubt I had in my mind. I charged forward with glorious purpose and I didn’t stop until I was wrapped around my vampire. My ass hit the cold tile of my kitchen countertop, my long cotton maxi dress not doing much to spare me from the temperature. Then one by one he pulled the strings on the straps that kept me in it securely, it fell first exposing my strapless bra, and he yanked it expertly in one swoop leaving me in just my underwear. They soon met the floor and I screamed because of the cold. It earned us a change in location, to the slightly less freezing kitchen table.
I could barely keep my hands off him. Even when he drew away to pull his pants and underwear off, I felt my fingers twitching to just reach out and touch any part of him that I could get her hands on. A soft sigh left my lips when his thick cock sprang forth from its confinements. The liberation between us was mutual. We both needed this as much as we needed each other.
My legs spread open for Eric in a way I once promised myself they never would, pressing my warm thighs to the sides of his cold hips.
My back arched off the table as Eric cupped my ass in his palms, lifting me towards his shaft. I grabbed for the back of his neck to keep my balance in check, my fingers gently caressing his short hairs there as we did all this and kissed hard, fast, and so uncompromising I struggled for breath.
He firmly squeezed my ass as he entered me, we both gasped as he buried his head in my neck for a time as we found our natural rhythm. Everything felt like it should be like this always, as if he belonged with me in every way, this intimate way being no exception. He fit me like glove, a very sexy glove at that.
He kissed me gently while letting me get used to his presence deep within my body. He ran his thumb over my face, leaving quick soft kisses on my throat and then my collarbone as he adjusted our position, cautiously pulling his hips back. In one swift movement we were suddenly on my couch, my head landing softly on one of the cushions there, him back inside me, filling me up so gloriously. I could feel my fingers graze his back as we fucked; every time he went deeper, my nails mimicked the action into his skin. He did not flinch, he did not even notice. Instead, he just moaned and growled into my neck as I mimicked that too. He felt so good there he felt so good everywhere. My legs edged up his sides, cupping both his hands to the side of my neck. He rocked his body with mine in painfully slow thrusts, moaning each time he slipped his rigid size back inside me. Our eyes met and the passionate burning brightly between us was obvious, we had denied it for a long time but now, here, out in the open, naked to the core – literally, there was no denying it. How had we managed to resist this feeling for so long, even before when I wanted to slap him more than I wanted to fuck him, I still wanted him more than I should have, and I knew by the look on his face he wanted nothing more than to take me wherever he could and do the same.
How had we resisted this?
In the throes of love making with Eric I questioned my sanity over and over again. As we moved from the living room to my Gran’s old room where we had shared a bed during his time with me before, this time all bets were off and the gentle somewhat unsure was replaced with pure sex, pure animal passion.
It never felt this way with Bill, not just size wise or stamina, but in every touch, I felt this need, this want and no fear what so ever. I knew Eric was not going to hump me like a dog and then ram his teeth into me for a snack, of the two men I had been with the Southern Gentleman had been little of one and barbaric Viking had been much more considerate.
The fact was though were together now, in this instant, expressing the unquestionable need we had for each other the only way they could think of.
“This feels so right…” He whispered to me before gliding his fingertips down my back, and I could do nothing only agree with him, it did feel right, it felt terrifyingly right.
Our moans soon began to mirror each other’s as we explored new ways to meet on that bed, in positions I was not even sure my body could manage, but somehow did. Sliding his palms over my smooth breasts, grasping for my hips, Eric nuzzled his nose against mine, our lips only apart for a breath before the seemingly invisible magnets within us came together again. It was unbelievable how we moved together so fluid despite our differences, our bodies tangling and detangling in such a way that my head was feeling a little light. He grinned then, knowing how close I was again to losing myself because of what his body was able to do to mine, flashing his perfect glistening whites when my body let go
“You feel…incredible. I wish you know how… you need to know. I need to tell you this always…”
He exhaled though he did not need to planting kisses along my neck and collarbone as I wrapped myself around his body and held on tight.
It was a hell of a ride with Eric, in many ways.
As we laid there next to each other, all the unsaid things between us fell away even for those few short moments they just did not matter. It didn’t matter if I still loved Bill or if I hadn’t agreed to ‘be’ Eric’s, it didn’t matter that he was ageless and I would age, it didn’t matter that whatever was happening to me scared me more than anything else, it didn’t matter that in a few days our lives might never be the same. All that mattered in those moments was he and I together, lovingly comfortable in our post sex silence, knowing that at least for tonight at least we were all that mattered.