Chapter 11: Chapter 11


Final day of production rolls around and after a week of shooting interiors, I was feeling somewhat calmer about the production here than I had been in Africa. It seemed that wore off on the cast too since we were able to speed through scenes that I had made a lot of room for re-shoots. I did my scenes with Eric—the majority of one flashback we’d spent arguing, then making up. Of course, it was the ‘making up’ that I had written after a particularly nasty fight with Alcide, and somehow managed to channel that into my work. It felt more than weird attempting the dialogue with Eric as Ryan and myself in the role of Dena. When I had written it, it was never the intention of being in this position. Of course, I managed to schedule the ‘making up’ scene as the final scene. I bid farewell to the majority of the cast and crew that afternoon. We were all on point to arrive at Eric’s place for our ‘wrap slash house warming party’ that night, but before that, Eric and I had one last scene to shoot together.

The sex scene.

Body makeup was, I could attest to, the most time consuming and slightly embarrassing process I’d gone through in my adult life. The makeup girls seemed to think nothing of it, taking out brushes and sponges and lathering my body in makeup to make ‘everything match up’ under the lights. Disturbing—that’s how it felt to have them poking at me with brushes in places … well… where there just should never be brushes!

Eric and I had spent the majority of the morning going over the scene. We’d been given the proper choreography so that everyone knew where they were meant to be and how logistically it would all work, hopefully ensuring as few takes as possible to get us done and out of there.

Of course, the girlfriend decided that that day would be the one day she would waltz onto set. She wasn’t in the slightest bit happy when I had one of the runners inform her that for the final scene it would be a closed set, and that she was more than welcome to wait in his trailer. Eric apologized profusely for her showing up, but I had more important things on my mind than having to worry about upsetting her.

Both he and I walked onto set in our robes, and I’m woman enough to admit that I was shaking a little. I had never done a love scene before. I had been far too young when I quit for that to even be a factor in the parts that I played. Now though? Now was something else all together.

It wasn’t that I was ashamed of my body; quite the opposite. I loved my curves and my natural frame for what it was. It was just… I’d never gotten naked and simulated sex in front of people before. It was new, unfamiliar and terrifying.

Thankfully, Eric seemed to pick up on this as he took my shaking hand in his warm one.

“Don’t be nervous,” he said gently, though it did little to calm my nerves.

“I’m not.”

“Riight,” he smiled. “Look, clearly this isn’t how I imagined seeing you naked for the first time.”

I glared, simply and hard in his direction.

“And believe me I’ve imagined…” he smirked, and it earned him a slap on the arm.

“I’m sorry!” he chuckled. “I thought it would help break the tension. Look, we’re just people, and really it’s not even us right now. It’s them. What they’re feeling, what they’re needing. We know them, we can do this.” He was reassuring and convincing, that’s for sure.

“I know… I’m just… I’ll be fine once we start I think. I just need to wrap my head around this.”

He nodded.

“My first sex scene, I was nineteen, she was thirty-five… She knew was she was doing. I had no clue.”

“You didn’t get wood did you?” I laughed and he just blushed and looked away.

“You didn’t! Oh, my God.” I giggled but I think it made him feel worse. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh… well, I do that’s a lie, because it’s funny. I’m sorry.” I stopped myself as the DP and my AD told me that we were ready.

We knew the scene inside out. This was a flashback, this was them in their lives before everything got swiped away. We were just a normal couple on a normal morning, that’s all it was. Except it wasn’t. It was a peek at his former life, how he used to be. When he was bright, shiny and new. Not worn down, used and abandoned by his belief system like we see at the start of the movie. It’s the polar opposite of his life after her.

I took a deep breath and shed my robe. Eric looked away right away. I was thankful for that. It gave me a second to adjust before he shed his robe and I paid him the same courtesy.

After a few minutes, I realized it was ridiculous to be so worried and began to relax more, and it seems Eric felt the same way.

We ran through the choreography and lines once, then the cameras started rolling, and so did we.

Feeling Eric so close, so very naked was disconcerting at first. But it wasn’t me, and it wasn’t him. I knew that much. He had this look in his eyes when he became Ryan—so focused and so still, so very un-Eric like in it’s nature—and that focus was very much there as we ‘made love’ to each other on that fake bed, in that fake room surrounded by cameras and sound booms.

It took us four takes, and with each one I found myself falling into a certain kind of comfort zone with Eric that I hadn’t felt before. He’d whisper to me between takes, that I was doing amazing and that if I didn’t feel comfortable to just tell him. I was thankful for his professionalism and his kindness, even if he felt the need to tell me that I had ‘amazing breasts’ a time or two before smirking. I may have just squeezed his ass a little harder than we’d agreed in return. I got a raised eyebrow or two each time I did it, causing me to fall into hard giggles. It served the scene well, though. It was relaxed and didn’t seem forced at all, which is what I had worried about. Faking an orgasm in front of that many people was a new and interesting experience, I’ll say that much.

We wrapped sooner than expected, giving us more than enough time before we’d meet up with everyone at Eric’s place for the wrap party. I was beyond relieved; I was beyond elated. It was done, it was in the can, and I hadn’t lost my mind … too much… in the process. It felt amazing.

I got showered and dressed before Jessica and I made our way into the parking lot of the set.

“Hey,” I heard from across the way. It was a freshly showered Eric getting into his car. Sandy stood at her door, her sunglasses still on, even though it was raining and overcast.

“Hey,” Jessica and I responded.

“You’ll be there, right?”

I knew he meant the party.

“Of course.”

He smiled big and wide. I liked his genuine smile. It was sort of goofy, and adorable all at once.

“Great. Bring booze. I’m having the food catered.”

“You know the production swings for that don’t you? Just send me the bill.”

“No, don’t worry about it—”

“No really. Why pay when it’s already taken care of? Seriously, just send the bill, okay?”

He shrugged but agreed anyway, as we both got into our respective cars to head home.

“So how was it?” Jessica asked flicking through her Blackberry.

“Scary, at first, but I don’t know… he made me feel comfortable.”

“Naked comfortable.” She blushed.

“Yes, naked comfortable. Our bodies are just the same as everyone else’s. I don’t get the big hoopla about being naked. I really don’t.”

“It’s private. Not everyone feels as confident in their bodies as you do.” She blushed again, which led me to ask.

“Jessica, have you and Hoyt been getting … naked comfortable at all?”

Her blush grew. Shit, last thing I wanted to do was freak her out.

“I … ”

“You don’t have to tell me. In fact, tell me to mind my own business if you want. I was just curious.”

She turned in her seat. “No… We haven’t and I don’t think we’re ever going to.”


“He’s got all this experience with girls. His last girlfriend, Summer, well he almost married her and they’d been together a long time… and I don’t have any experience. And I think he doesn’t want to do it with me.”

“Oh, honey, trust me, he wants to do it with you. Believe me, a guy wouldn’t stick around for more than a day if he wasn’t sure he wanted that with you. But maybe he’s just is that nice of a guy. Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move since it’s your choice and all?”

“Oh, no. No, no. I couldn’t!”

“You could. I mean, do you want Hoyt to be your first? Do you trust him and love him enough? That’s all you need to know right now, the rest will work itself out.”

“I do love him. I know it’s happened so fast and it’s terrifying for both of us that we feel so strongly so soon, but it does feel right when we’re together. And he hasn’t been pushing it, in fact the opposite. It’s like he doesn’t want to bring it up in case it scares me or something.”

“He probably doesn’t want to freak you out or make you think he’s pressuring you. That’s all. I say if you want him, take him. That’s all there is to it. There’s no point in crushing over a guy for months if what you really want is for him to take you and fuc—”


“What? You do, don’t you?”

“Maybe.” She blushed again. She really was too adorable.

“Then do it! You make the move and hopefully, if he’s not a total idiot, he’ll get your gist.”

I got home to find a rather obnoxiously large bouquet of flowers from my dad, congratulating me for surviving my directorial debut, and a note saying that he loved me and expected some American candy when I came over. My flight was leaving for Paris the next morning at eleven thirty, so after changing into my sweats and unpacking yet more boxes of crap, I packed my bags for my trip. I was excited about seeing my dad, and couldn’t wait for the rest and Zen that was sure to follow from being in his company for more than a couple of weeks. Wherever my dad was, was home, and I wanted to feel at home so badly. I didn’t feel at home in Los Angeles—not at all. It was just such a weird city. Busy like any other and traffic filled, sure, but it felt different. So different from New York that I often wondered if we were on the same planet, never mind in the same country. LA was everything you’d think it would be. Hot, humid, and as artificial as a Playboy Bunny’s breasts.

I spent a little time by my new pool before I showered and found the red dress I’d been saving for a special occasion. The wrap on my first production seemed just about special enough. Pam arrived around nine, champagne in hand moving in for a hug as soon as I opened the door.

“Congratulations!” she smiled, “You survived, I’m proud. And the network is excited Sookie, they’re penciling you in for the summer kick off with two of their most popular shows on either side of you. It’s guaranteed millions of viewers and from the grins on their faces, the Globe and Emmy people will be thrilled, too.”

“Way to jump the gun, Pam. I just want people to like it, that’s all.” I shook any and all award shows out of my head. That was far too freaky. What if no one liked it? What if they panned us? I popped the bottle and we took our drinks.

“So, how did you handle your first nude scene, Ms. Stackhouse?” she asked, sounding very much like Ryan Seacrest. God help us all.

“It was fine.”

“Fine? You’re getting naked and freaky with Northman and it was ‘fine’?”

“It wasn’t us, Pam. It wasn’t real.”

“Was it awkward?”

“A little, but we got over it.”

“Hmmph… I’ll bet you did.”

“Meaning what exactly?”

“Well, it’s just you two have been eye-fucking each other for months now. I’m just shocked you haven’t fuck-fucked each other yet, that’s all.”

That Pam, about as subtle as a flying hammer.

“Nice. Besides he’s still dating that… woman,” I said dismissively with my hands.

“Speaking of, that girl really should get her flu sorted out.”


“Hmm. She spent the entire time I was in that bathroom ‘blowing’ her nose.”

I didn’t get it.

“Oh, well maybe she just needs to see a doctor to get rid of it.”

“Yeah, Betty Ford could do it.”


“Sweetie, she was blowing her nose,” she said, slower this time, like that might help.

“Well, I don’t know. Offer her a tissue?”

She just rolled her eyes. “God you’re dumb. She was blowing coke up her nose.”




She nodded.

“No way. Wait… does that mean that Eric…”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he’d be that stupid, but the boy does like to have a good time.”

“Wow, I didn’t think she was one of those.”

“Eh, the list of who isn’t on coke in this town is tiny compared to just about everyone who is.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. It was the one thing that I hated in this industry—serious drugs used as a casual diet aid. It sucked, but it also explained so much about so many people.

“I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“Them. I don’t get why he’s with her.”

“He hasn’t really been with her that long, and in the time they’ve been together … well, I don’t think either of them are as serious about their ‘relationship’ as they’d like people to believe. At least I know she’s not.”


“She fucks around, and I’ve heard he’s not immune to it either. So, who knows.”

“Charming,” I said downing my glass of champers. “Shall we?” I said nodding in the direction of Eric’s place.

“At least we don’t have to worry about drunk driving tonight. That’s one plus!”

The party, or should I say Eric’s very large house, was packed. I barely got through the front door before people were calling to me, stopping to talk and offering me a glass of something or other. I’d spoken to most of the cast either together or apart, as well as finding out how the other crew members were getting on, and if they had other jobs lined up for whatever step they took next. I’d gotten to know the crew guys really well over the course of the production and I liked everyone of them, mainly because they didn’t seem impressed by me or who my father was. It was nice to just be treated as the newbie I was and earn their respect for real. And I had done that by the hugs and looks of admiration in their eyes as we talked over the ups and down of the shoot. I’d been there well over an hour before I saw Eric, chatting up a storm in his kitchen with some guy as they pointed at his flat screen. Some European football game was airing and they were locked in what looked like a intense debate.


It was on leaving the kitchen to step into the yard, that I ran into her, almost breaking her bones in the process.

“Oops. Sorry, I’m so clumsy,” I said, standing back as she held tighter to her drink.

“God, be more careful. This is McQueen.”


She rolled her eyes as she flipped her hair to the side, standing with her hand on her hip.

“So you live next door, huh? I didn’t know that until tonight.”

“I do… I don’t think he knew when he agreed to take this place though,” I commented, feeling ever so awkward. I mean, what the hell was I meant to talk to her about?

“Hmm. It’s nice. I mean, it is a little small, but I’m sure once things start picking up for him, he’ll upgrade.”

Upgrade? This place was huge, too huge really for one person.

“Maybe.” I shrugged.

“You know, we’re going to Sweden, soon.”

If they were dicking around on each other, he was taking her home? That was … odd.

“Oh, really? That’s nice.”

“Yeah, he’s from there you know. He speaks Swedish really well.”

I knew that. I just nodded.

“I mean like, he speaks that AND he speaks Scandinavian. It’s awesome.”

I giggled into my drink, almost spilling it everywhere—accidentally, of course.

“And he said that we could totally visit Scandinavia while we’re in Sweden, too. Well, I mean, he says he’s going, but that just means that I’m going too… he just doesn’t know it yet. Besides it gives me time to put together my most Swedish looking outfits.”

She wasn’t serious.

“So like, I just wanted to say that, don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.”

“What am I doing?”

“Trying to get with him. I’m telling you right now that that’s not going to happen, uhkay?”

“Who said I was trying to get with him? I don’t want him. I don’t go after men who are already taken, sweetie. You must be looking in the mirror.”

She gasped. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean? Are you saying I’m like, a home wrecker or something? Because it’s not my fault if they’re married and just can’t help to themselves, you know? It’s not my fault that my awesomeness has them all obsessed with me.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, I mean, oh God you’re not one of those girls are you? I mean, really it’s not right, being so jealous of me. I know that you’re this chubby failed child star and all Sookie, but really, if you lost like forty pounds and got a nose job… I’m sure people would hire you again.”

I assumed she was drunk. She had to have been. No one could be this… vapid, all the time, could they?

“If I lost forty pounds, I’d die. I’m a size four for goodness sakes.”

“Ew…” she said. “I’m a double zero. It’s so healthy. I don’t eat anything that’s bad for me and I just feel so energized all the time.”

Yeah, it’s not the vegetables that’s doing that, that’s for sure.

“Well, that’s nice for you, I’m sure.”

Call me crazy, but I’d rather look like the grown woman that I am and not a pre-teen. “I like how I am, thanks, but that’s your preference.”

“And Eric’s too,” she snided.

I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t, since it was clear she believed what she was saying. But from the way he constantly stared at my boobs like they were magical, I hated to break it to her, he was a dude like any other, and was a closeted breast man.

Three hours and many, many drinks later, I found myself wandering the halls of Eric’s house in serious need of a bathroom. I walked into one room to find Lafayette and John, my key grip, making out.

“Oops, don’t mind me… Carry on!” I winked to Lafayette as they both stood up as if nothing was going on. Something was so going on. I walked into another room to find Eric sitting on the edge of a very large bed, his head in his hands.

I was closing the door again, when my nose got the better of me.

“You okay?”

“Oh, hey.” He looked up. “I didn’t get talkin’ to you much tonight.”

“It’s been busy. You look like shit, by the way.”

“Thanks,” he said as I walked over to sit next to him, my bathroom needs momentarily forgotten.

“What’s wrong?”

“I broke up with Sandy. I just hope it was the right thing to do, that’s all.”

“Sad. She was so excited about tagging along to Sweden, and then visiting Scandinavia.” I giggled causing him to crack a smile.

“It’s not funny,” he said, biting his lip.

“It’s a little funny.”

He laughed. “I did try and explain it to her…”

“I’ll bet. But really, cheer up. She might get so distraught over you breaking the love off that she might actually eat something.”

He gave me a warning look to which I conceded. “Sorry, nervous humor.”

“Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t know… After today I don’t really know what to say to you?”

“Ah, the awkward after-fake-sex-talk.” He sat back on his arms against the bed, looking up at me as I sat up straight.

I nudged his leg. “You’re not funny either. It was a big deal for me.”

“I know. I was as gentle in taking your onscreen virginity as I possibly could be. And for an onscreen virgin, you sure knew what you were doing.”

“I’m glad it was with you. I mean, despite our … differences since this thing started, you made me feel… comfortable, when I really wasn’t.”

“You’re welcome,” he said with a now smug look on his face.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, both of us drinking our drinks and listening to the party slow down outside and downstairs.

I went to stand up, but he reached for my hand.

“Don’t go,” he said sitting upright.

“I have to.”


“I… really have to pee,” I said laughing.

He laughed too, pointing me to a door in his room, informing me that there was an en-suite back there. I tiptoed into the toilet since I was just about dying from holding it in for so long.

After I’d washed my hands I walked out to find him standing by the double doors that led to his balcony.

“I really should go now. It’s getting late and I really didn’t sleep last night… and …” I thought of going back to my place, alone and cold. Suddenly it didn’t seem such a priority.

“You really need to cheer up dude,” I said, slipping off my heels for comfort. “Really, that sour puss of yours is going to start scaring people soon.”

“I just… how do you know?”

“Know what?”

“If you’re doing the right thing, on the right path?”

Was he a deep thinker when he got drunk? That was new.

“I don’t know, you just… feel it, I guess.”

“Like you knew with that guy? The one you were engaged to? You knew that wasn’t the right path?”

I hadn’t really thought about it like that, but I guess it was.

“I think so. I mean I loved him, and I think a small part of me will always love him, you know? But it’s not what I wanted, marriage, kids…. I just …”

“And career wise, how did you know to quit?”

He looked genuinely lost. I felt bad for him for the first time since we met again.

“I… don’t know. It wasn’t fun anymore. It’s fun again now. And if it stops being fun again, well, I can always quit and try something else.”

“It’s that easy?”

“Well, I don’t know about that either. I mean, I’ve only quit once and that was before I even got breasts, so what did I know!” I smiled. “I’m glad I did it though. Growing up here… it seems harder than it did in France. Being in the spotlight all the time like that? It’s not healthy.”

“You’re annoyingly wise, Stackhouse,” he said moving next to me. I just smiled.

“Nah, it’s just because you’re surrounded by idiots most of the time. It makes my job easier, that’s all.”

“So I need smarter friends?”

“And maybe better management. Just sayin’.”

He nodded.

“I like you, Sookie,” he said, scratching the back of his head again.

Maybe it was the wine, or maybe I was crazy, but I smiled. “Well that’s always nice to hear. I like you too, when you’re not being a douche.”

“I’m ignoring the last part.” He rolled his eyes and took my wine glass from me.

His hand went to my hair, tucking it behind my ear, his fingers gently trailing the shape of my ear and down my neck and right back up again. Tiny sparks of electricity followed his soft touch.

“Stay with me tonight?” he whispered before leaning in, as if in a challenge to see if I’d lean back.

I did.

And I kissed him in lieu of a reply, and it seemed to be good enough for both of us.

A/N: Hi guys! I’m hoping to alternate between this and TSL to give me a break from each of them and hopefully keep things updated regularly. Dying to know what you all thought!Oh and just as a ‘disclaimer’ – any and all characters that may or may not resemble someone/ certain people IRL … is a total coincidence.

*Looks shifty* No, really, I mean it. *Wanders off.*

Chapter 12: Chapter 12


I took his hand after we kissed; of the two of us, I was awkwardly unsure of what came next, but he knew one thing for sure, he wasn’t letting me go. Not that night anyway. We kissed our way to his bed, simply laying there next to each other, his hand in mine, his finger making a swirl pattern on my palm. We laid there for awhile just enjoying the sounds of the party winding to a close beneath us, and enjoying the calm. Of course, the calm didn’t last very long. At least not where he and I were concerned.

I ended up in his lap, straddling him as he sat on his bed. His hands wandered up and down my back, his fingers trailing over my bare skin thanks to my backless dress. God, he could kiss in a way that was more intense than some of the sex I’ve had in the past. He just had this way of making me completely forget that the world existed outside of him, his lips, and how they made my body feel.

He stood us up, I was still in his lap, my legs wrapping around his waist, his lips never leaving mine as I heard the tiny click of a door being locked.

“Godric has boundary issues,” he whispered as he carried us back to where we began. He unzipped the back of my dress—the zip started at my waist—all the way down, I simply stood up, causing my dress to land in a pool at my feet. A small grin spread across his lips as he took in my body, since I was standing there in heels and a tiny pair of panties. He had quite a few things to view. And from the look on his face, and the bulge in his jeans, he really rather liked said view.

His eyes finally met mine before I pushed him onto the bed. That’s when he laughed, just a small laugh, but still it caught my attention.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothin’ I just… I thought you didn’t ‘do’ actors?”

“You want me to stop? I can stop?” I said matching his raised brow with two of my own.

“No… Don’t even think about it.” He grabbed onto my sides sliding me further onto him, and by extension his giant bed, before kissing me hard. When I lifted up for air, I answered him.

Technically, you’re not an actor right now. Right now, you’re just an unemployed bum. Those, I can do,” I smiled before kissing him again. “And, I’m not your boss anymore so we’re avoiding that cliché right off the bat.”

He nodded. “Good to know.”

“Yes, I think it is,” I sassed, before going for the zipper of his jeans, taking my sweet time with it too.

He yanked off his t-shirt exposing those arms to me completely, never mind his now military issue six-pack and man pecs staring up at me.

“Boot camp was so good to you,” I commented and he laughed.

“It made me care, again. You made me care…” he said, raking his fingers through my hair and pulling me in for a kiss that lasted longer than either of us expected, resulting in him flipping us over so he was on top. Pushy bastard.

He made quick work shedding the rest of his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers.

“I never thought I’d see you again,” he said as his lips found my bellybutton and he kissed it, and my tummy ever so gently. “When you quit. I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Ditto,” I replied, resting on my elbows to watch him at work.

“I wanted to though. I liked you, even then.”

“Ew, you little perv. I was eleven!”

“Not that like!” he smiled. “Well, maybe a little bit like that. You were a cutie pie.”

Cutie pie? Oh, I’m cringing so hard right now.”

He snapped the elastic of my underwear, causing me to flinch.

“As I was saying…” he said moving closer to the waistband of my panties, “I missed you, I thought a lot about you when things would get shitty for me. I envied you.”


“You got out, and you had other options. I… well.”

He didn’t. I think I finally got Eric in that second. At least a little part of his personality; he was an actor now, not because he loved it, but because it was all he knew. His family never thought to give him the out that I had, to give him a break to be a kid, to be a stupid teen, to get drunk on peach schnapps and throw up—in private. No, he had to do it all in front of the cameras, whether he liked it or not.

We distracted each other with our bodies as we slipped under his fresh crisp sheets, driving each other nuts in the process. Neither one of us was willing to concede to allow the other to take control. It was an issue we had in our every day life where we each were concerned. I was hardly shocked that it would have translated into our sex life. Each of us unwilling to back down resulted in—what from the outside looking in could have seemed like—naked wrestling for a time, but finally I gave in. His unique brand of sexual insanity came from those amazing fingers of his, followed by his rather talented mouth. But, he wouldn’t give in, he wouldn’t let me come, and that’s when I had to give in and let him has his way. My body couldn’t take it anymore, so when he finally slipped inside of me, I was more than ready for him, even if it did take me a second to adjust. The intensity didn’t stop however. In fact, if anything it only multiplied on itself as he and I fucked out all our frustrations, anger and confusion in the most amazingly, pleasurable way possible. He knew what he was doing, that’s for sure. He played my body like a violin and the music that we made was simply divine.

It took some time before I could finally let myself go though, and it was as if he knew that this was new for me. I had, after all, just gotten out of a six-year relationship where neither of us had ever strayed nor were we particularly adventurous when it came to sex. Usually with Alcide and I, whatever position we began in, we ended in too. With Eric, it wasn’t like that at all. It felt like a goddamn workout, to be honest. Somehow, don’t ask me how, but the giant bed ended up not being big enough for both of us to play around in, and we ended up on the floor with a rather large bang—both literally and metaphorically. I came so hard I thought I was going to go blind I was seeing so many stars.

Three rounds with Eric Northman and I felt like I’d been hiking for days. I felt tired, sore, and amazing all over. The kind of pain that felt really fucking good all over.

There was no sound when we both hit the end of round three; no sound but the ringing in my ears and both of us attempting to catch our breath.

“Jesus Christ,” he said, looping his arm around me, yanking his comforter and some pillows off the bed without getting up. We ended up wrapped up in his goose down, and wrapped up completely in each other. “That was so … so…”

“I know. Weird, huh?” I said as the feeling finally started to come back to my legs.

“Well, when I fantasized about it, it was never this good. I mean, it was good… but nothing beats the reality of you.”

“Look at you, being all charming,” I giggled letting him cuddle me closer. It wasn’t long at all before his breathing evened out, and that was one of the last things I remember of that night, before the dawn came a calling and the panic set in.


Shooting the final scenes of the project were somewhat bittersweet for me. I was on the one hand so glad to be done, and the stress of it and the character would be long forgotten once I got a good night’s sleep. But on the other hand, I wanted it to last forever. I’d come to love the cast—quirky and fucked up each and everyone of them in their own way. Lafayette was one in particular that I’d come to like. He was funny and self-deprecating in a way that allowed you to relax and totally be yourself around him. Though, I thought the same couldn’t be said for him, since it felt as if he was holding back something of himself every time we’d talk. Not my business I suppose, but he was a good guy and that’s all I knew. Then of course, there was my boss, and the whole reason I’d even been considered for this gig in the first place—Sookie, my Queen of Second Chances. With her talent and determination, she carried on, even in the face of serious adversity. And she did it. She turned a wonderful script into what looked like a kick ass movie that I only hoped the networks and the viewers would respond to. They were airing it—as we were told on wrap day—as a mini-series spanning five weeks, which made sense to me and to everyone else. Even if it was still considered a movie by most of us.

The final scene with Sookie was one I knew, despite her protests, that she was nervous about. I saw it in her eyes when she walked onto set. So, despite my wandering imagination and wanting nothing more than to ignore the crew, and fuck her right there for real… I knew I had to be professional. I mean, I was professional, but there was just something about her that made me want to throw that all away if it meant getting to touch her for real.

I took my pervert hat off, though; it wasn’t right thinking of her like that. She was my co-star and my director. More to the point, in that moment we weren’t sitting there as Sookie and Eric, two nervous actors (one of us with a crush). No, we were Ryan and Dena and that’s what we had to focus on.

Sandy decided on that day to reappear in my life. After dinner that night at the Ivy, I’d made it clear to her that whatever the hell our relationship was, it wasn’t working—for either of us. I wasn’t the kind of person to just dismiss someone from my life for no reason, and despite her lacking judgment, she wasn’t a completely bad person. I wanted us, at the very least, to stay some sort of friends. She didn’t. She wanted more from me and I wasn’t sure she got the message when I told her I was done. Not wanting to be rude led to her showing up at the party. Never one to turn down a good time of course, she came with her game face on. I watched her schmooze with the producers and the other actors on the project, laughing and joking as if she wasn’t hanging on by a thread.

I busied myself being sociable, too. It felt right since, after all, people were inside my house having a good time. Most of the night I spent arguing over football scores and teams with a few of the guys. Other than that, one of the project’s producers and his lovely and very influential executive producer wife talked my ear off about a few under the radar projects that they thought I’d be perfect for. Most of them sounded amazing—exactly what I was looking for, in fact. It was when I spotted Sandy pouting by the pool that she caught my gaze in hers, making her way over and subsequently nudging out the two producers with her hand gesturing and whining.

“You haven’t talked to me all night,” she snipped, a hand on one hip, a vodka in the other.

“I’ve been busy, and so have you from the looks of things.” I nodded to her now empty glass.

“Well, I needed something to keep me occupied while I was left to my own devices all night. I need to talk to you… in private.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“No,” she said, marching on ahead of me into the kitchen and using the back stairwell to go upstairs. I just rolled my eyes at her obtuseness before following. I didn’t want to be rude to the guests but I had a feeling she wasn’t going to be happy until she had her say.

I found her in the hallway next to my bedroom door. Before I could reach past it, she kissed me.

“What the hell?” I asked.

“I miss you, okay? I’m really sorry for all those things I said before when you said that you and I were done. I don’t want us to be done, Eric. We’re good together you and I.”

I heard more people wandering up and down the stairs so I led her into my room and closed the door.

“Look, Sandy, I meant what I said. This isn’t healthy, none of it. We can’t keep on like this.”

“Like what? I thought we were having fun?”

“We were, in the beginning. But that… ever since you told me Bill was involved in setting this whole thing up, any reality that I felt with you, it’s gone.”

“It wasn’t a total set up. I mean, I did like you! And I’m glad he set us up, we’ve gotten so much out of this thing, Eric. I’ve gotten more offers in the last eight months than I have in three years. People don’t look nicely on someone who bombs every movie they’re in, but with us being how we are, it keeps things interesting!”

“Look, I want us to still be friends, Sandy, but right now, this just isn’t working. I’m tired of the games.”

“You don’t get it do you? This shit is like the mafia. Once you’re in the game it doesn’t stop till the game has had enough of you.”

“You have issues if you believe that. Everyone Sandy, everyone has the right to choose who they should be, and who they should be with. And right now you are not that person for me. And I know I’m sure as hell not that person for you.”

“You’ll regret this.” She pouted, but I saw it as an empty threat.

“Maybe, but for right now, it’s my decision. So please, respect that.”

She stomped off seconds later, muttering to herself. I knew I’d have to see her again. She very rarely just accepted things outright. But it felt right. I needed something real, someone real. Someone who wasn’t a set up by my management and her PR just to see where they could lead us, someone who had their own opinions on the world and didn’t just agree with mine all the time in order to keep me placated and happy. That had worked once upon a time, but now I wanted more. I didn’t want to settle. I just hoped that I made the right decision and that for all of Sandy’s insanity that she wasn’t totally right when she said that staying visible kept the public interested. I didn’t want to have to base my life around where to get the next photo opportunity. I wanted to live a normal life—as normal as I could given the industry that I was apart of—but did a normal life want me? Could I even live a normal life now? That was the real question.

I’d downed the last of the beer in my bottle in an attempt to shake an all too familiar sinking feeling. I wasn’t about to lose myself inside my head again. I internalized things too much. Even as a kid I kept so much inside that it would build to the point that the only way to let it out was in ways that ended up being totally self-destructive. Just as I was again about to fall down that dark rabbit hole and into myself, she appeared. Much like she appeared that day by the pool. Her blonde curls bouncing as she swung the door open. Her eyes bright and still so full of genuine life. My own eyes now only shone a weary glimmer, whereas hers still had their shine.

I wanted her. I’d wanted her from the day I’d laid eyes on her again after all that time. I really had thought about her over the years. When I was contracted to do those movies I had almost zero say in as a kid, shuffling from place to place, not really making any solid friends, just sort of living that old nomadic life, I often though how she had been right to leave when she did—to live a normal life that had once looked so boring to me.

I knew that when she motioned to leave, leaving was the last thing I wanted her to do. Even though I knew she was only going a few hundred feet next door, it was still too far away. I didn’t care if we had sex—as much as I might have wanted it—it wasn’t what I really needed. I just need her, her and her refreshingly honest company, and if the sex happened it was a giant bonus as far as I was concerned.

Kissing her again, as Sookie and just as Sookie felt wonderful. The kind of wonderful that made your stomach do little flips, I liked that feeling. It certainly beat the sinking feeling of dread that I usually felt recently.

While I might have been fully content in just laying with her, talking with her, or generally enjoying the silence with her, that wasn’t to be. She had a magnificent body—she clearly worked out, but in a way that gave her curves and a supple ass—and these amazing breasts that I just couldn’t get enough of. She was as dominating in the bedroom as she was on a set, and I kind of liked it, but I loved the feeling of her growing frustrations even more as we each wrestled for control. I surrounded her, and the intensity of our time together was simply unmatched in terms of anything else I’d ever felt, with anyone. Listening to her softly chant my name as I got us lost in each other had this staggering result in both of us seemingly unable to get enough of each other—that night at least.

I felt her nails scrape down my back again, the slight pain followed my intense pleasure. Is that how all sex should feel? I felt as if it should. By the time we were both spent, I knew the party had somehow found it’s own end. I didn’t care; how could I when I was wrapped up in pure endorphin inducing after glow snuggles with someone I hoped wouldn’t just be a one time thing.

I had a feeling somehow that even though I woke up the next morning, wrapped like a butterfly in a cocoon with my blankets on the floor—very much alone—that it wouldn’t be the last I saw of Sookie Stackhouse.

Definitely not.

A/N: *kicks rocks* Sooo, what do we think?


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