Chapter 5: Wanna Build A Snowman?
Falling slowly, or rapidly and idiotically depending on how you look at it. We have car sex, snowmen (poor Walter) and flirting with waitresses to cover up your hurt feelings. They’re idiots, but we love ’em, right?
They had been lying on the red tartan blanket for most of the afternoon, the sun high and hot in the sky for late summer, and it was just peaceful bliss. Something he thought he’d never have again. Laying there with her by his side, snuggled together, napping on and off, kissing and touching when the mood struck; but mostly just enjoying the silence of being together offset only be the trees rustling or the birds chirping.
“You know, we’ll have to go to town and collect my things if I am staying here,” he said as she snuggled closer into his chest, both their eyes closed. They hadn’t so much discussed it as much as they hadn’t left each others sides for more than ten minutes in twenty four hours. Leaving to sleep there would be an issue.
“Ugh, that means facing her and she knows you stayed here which means she knows what we did last night,” Peggy answered, muffled by his chest, and it just made him laugh.
“Since when do you care what old ladies think?”
“I don’t, usually, but … I’ve known her since I was a girl. It’s a little awkward is all?”
“Well, she should be happy for you then. You have company. Handsome, charming company that gives you orgasms.”
That earned him a slap on the chest.
“Yes, be sure to point that out to her and I’ll never be able to show my face in the village again.”
His fingers were bunching up the skirt of her dress, he loved it, white with blue flowers, soft and sweet and made her curves stand out in a way that, now he’d seen them up close, was slowly driving him mad.
“Nope,” she said, stopping him, then forcing him to look at her. “Last night was an anomaly. While I enjoy sporadic and unplanned as much as the next girl, we’re not taking any chances.”
He was horny, hard, and confused, currently in that order.
She read it on his face.
“Things must be used to stop other things from happening.”
“Oh good Lord, either you use condoms – which we don’t have, nor do I want to think about buying from the pharmacy in town – or I have to slip up stairs and … well, use something before we begin.”
She was blushing, and it was adorable. He kissed her cheek and laid back down beside her.
“Of course, I’ll use or not use or do anything you need for this to be safe.”
She nodded then, and he realised there was that thing that women wore inside to stop pregnancy, he knew about it but forgot about it. It had been a good long while since the fears of the aftermath of being with a woman were a reality. It was frowned upon and talked about and of course he didn’t give a fuck. Most things he loved in life were frowned upon or illegal, why the hell shouldn’t a woman choose when she had a kid, it was her body and her life after all. And kids, as cute as they were, just weren’t on the agenda for her, at least not then, or for a good long while, he knew that too. He saw her drive and her ambition, and it was one of the many things he was finding in the ‘What I Love About Peggy Carter’ list tucked away in his brain. It was a long list.
She kissed him again before pulling back with a smile.
“Meet me upstairs in five minutes, Soldier.”
She pushed herself up off the blanket, nudging him with her foot and disappearing inside.
He smiled to himself, enjoying the warmth of the sun beating down on his face, and the warmth circulating from his stomach around his body that felt a lot like happiness.
He hoped it lasted. He hoped that it would be strong enough to extinguish the pain and the darkness he carried with him since his time on Zola’s table.
Bedroom distractions of the best kind, of the very best kind, had prevented them from going into town until early evening. It had taken all Peggy’s will to get out of bed again after … well, after they had had their ways with each other a few times over. It wasn’t appealing, leaving the warmth and the comfort of his arms or the pleasure of his body, or the wit from those lips. But he needed a change of clothes, and his clothes were being held hostage at the Bed and Breakfast.
She fixed up her hair, changed her dress into a non-wrinkled version, and even wore a jacket.
“How do I look?”
“You don’t want me to say you look like you spent your afternoon getting thoroughly fucked, right? That would be the wrong answer?” he grinned, evilly.
“You look lovely and serene and lady like and proper and not like you had my di-”
“Hush you now, get in the bloody car and shush.”
He got into the car, but not before he pinched her arse on the way by.
He was dangerous when he was giddy, she realised very quickly.
Peggy decided to stop off at the grocers while Bucky checked out of the Bed and Breakfast, for her own sanity, and for the fact that she wasn’t sure she could stop a smart arsed remark should the proprietor be so bold as to publicly judge her, which she knew she would.
Barnes, on the other hand, had no such qualms.
“You know, shacking up with an unmarried woman is a sin and surely isn’t Christian, Mr Barnes,” the woman commented as he handed her back his unused key with a smile.
He just grinned wider and winked.
“Oh I sure hope so. You have a good day Ma’am.”
She knew by his step he was far too happy. She got into the car and waited for him to join her.
He was laughing still when he threw his bags into the back seat and hopped in the passenger side.
“You said something didn’t you?”
“No, she said something, I merely agreed with her.” Yeah, Peggy didn’t want to know.
She drove in the direction of the house, not that they’d make it of course, instead choosing a sunset drive into the wilderness, ‘because nature, Carter, we’ve to make the most of it, Brooklyn don’t have much!’ Whereas she was just convinced he wanted to fuck her in the woods, not that she would have objected … much.
Turns out it wasn’t the trees, at least at first. Peggy never had had sex in a car before hurricane Barnes blew into her life. It was cramped and hilariously awkward and they laughed and joked and came and joked some more. She loved it, and she was finding rather easily that she loved him too.
They ended up spending a week in secluded bliss, but as always duty called and Peggy was back on mission, and Barnes had a job to get back to in New York. They parted ways at Howard’s private air platform with promises to ‘see a movie’ when she got back.
They both knew no films would be watched, but the pretense was sweet.
Work was work and it took another month to infiltrate the gangs using the hotel fully and another week to get the operation blown apart. She was then sent with three other operatives to Berlin, where she would be all but stuck until the week before Christmas in attempt at setting up a SHIELD base as well as hunting for stray Hydra. She was due home the week before Christmas. She was humming with excitement about it too, and she had a few friends in New York now, Barnes being number one on her list of visits, to say the least.
Letters were great, but they didn’t touch the real thing.
But once again fate wasn’t on her side. Snow storms decided to pop up out of nowhere and she and her three colleagues were stuck in post war Germany at Christmas. Their idea of celebration was pilfered wine from a raided Hydra cell by candle light.
Merry Christmas, indeed.
She ended up back in Brooklyn at insane AM on December 30th, exhausted and lonely as she looked around her cold and empty – and decidedly festive free – apartment. She dumped her bags, changed her clothes and grabbed her car keys.
The drive to Queens seemed to take an eternity, and before she knew it though the sun was peeking through the skyline as she found herself at his front door. He answered half-dressed and adorably dishevelled, hair askew and sleepy eyed.
God, she missed him.
“Hello,” she said in manner for her that was almost shy.
“I … need to sleep, okay? I just … ”
Without saying anything else, he took her by the hand, closed the door and led her to the bedroom at the back of his apartment. She silently slipped out of her shoes, dress, and stockings, then slipped into bed beside him with a content sigh. He kissed her temple, pulling her into his warm embrace.
“Welcome home, Peg,” he said groggily before pulling the blankets up over them for what was the best night sleep Peggy had had in months.
He woke up to the scent of coffee in his nose, slowly opening his eyes when he felt a dip in the bed beside him.
“Afternoon,” she said in a whisper.
“Hmmm,” he groaned, turning over to her side, peeking with one eye then the other. “I thought I dreamed you up, coffee tells me otherwise.”
She smiled down at him from her sitting position against headboard. “There’s a cup here for you if you like.”
He groaned again. Bucky Barnes was not a morning – or early afternoon – person, not after a triple shift. He sat up anyway, attempting to wake up.
“Long day at work?” she asked, handing him the steaming cup.
“Mm, took a triple, guys had families to get to over Christmas, I had … well, the stray cat that the whole block feeds. Figured it was an easy decision to make.”
“Did you have a nice Christmas?”
“Dugan and his wife invited me over for dinner. It was nice I guess, but it was their families you know? Real welcoming and what not, just didn’t feel right in the end, but the food was great. Don’t remember much after they broke out the whisky though.” He smiled then, putting down the coffee and turning to her. “You?”
“In what can be called nothing more than a bunker, with booze and newly appointed SHIELD agents stuck weathering a snow storm.”
“Hell more like it, but it’s just another day really. Without family or kids around, doesn’t seem much sense in making a big fuss. It’s a shame, really.”
“I used to love Christmas, loved when it snowed and we’d go out sledding in the field next door, or building snowmen if we were in the country, before we’d go inside and mum would have a whole big dinner planned. All their friends and family met at ours too, the place in London we used to have because it was close to my father’s job. It was nice.”
“It sure sounds it,” Bucky replied with a wistful look on his face, even with three day (at least) old scruff. “With us it was kinda the same. When Steve’s asthma or whatever else had decided to hit him wasn’t acting up we could do that. You know, before the depression hit Christmas was always fun at least. Then it did, and it was like everything just kinda stopped? I knew not to expect much for Christmas beyond anything handmade – we got a lot of scarves Stevie and I – from my Ma, his Ma, everybody’s Ma knitted you something. It was always a size or two too big, but you were promised it’d fit. Course by the time it did it was summer and you had no use for anything anymore it would get so hot.” He was smiling and she was laughing and it felt nice, just to share.
“Sounds lovely though, the community of people doing that for each other. I was an only child, shipped off to school whenever the time came. That in itself was a community too I suppose, but different.”
He looked at her then before hopping out of bed and padding over to his closet.
“Get dressed, we’re gonna do something … nice.”
“I was thinking breakfast?”
He winked then.
“Me too, but this first. Come on, get dressed and … here–” he threw her a very large blue and black obviously hand knit, obviously well loved, scarf. “Stick that on. You have gloves, right?”
She did, and she saw where he was going with this, and it made her giddy like a small girl.
Ten minutes later they were playfully arguing about the shape and girth of their snow man, and Peggy was finding suitable sized stones for his face. It was probably idiotic, it probably looked it too to passers-by, and they were grownups for heaven sakes. But, she didn’t care. It was the most fun she’d had in ages – innocent, good old-fashioned fun.
“No Carter, come on, his head is too skinny, look at that! We gotta fatten him up with some more of this,” he whined, balling more snow around the side of the man’s head – Walter was his name, Bucky decided. Why, he wouldn’t say.
“His head is perfectly shaped, look at it!”
“I am, and for one it’s crooked as fuck.”
“Oh do you now, well excuse me.” He mocked her accent, badly, and it earned him a snowball to the face. “Ohh, no! Come on that’s not– We said no snowballs! Building!” That didn’t stop him from throwing a small one at her and hitting her square in the chest. Christ, even with snow he had good aim.
She retaliated and got him good with one right between the eyes. Of course that set him off, and she ran, but he ran after her, part of Walter’s head in his hands.
“No!!!” she cried as she circled her snow covered car. “Come on, that’s half of poor Walter’s head you’ve got there!”
“Thought you said it was perfect as it was? This is for you – Sweetheart.” The Brooklyn boy was back in full effect as he shouted back to her. She was trying desperately to get some ammo so she could at least distract him. It was no use. He snuck up on her and yanked the snow right down her back.
She ran toward the house, and him, screaming.
“You ARSE Barnes!! Nooo!” She was trying desperately to shake it out but it was doing no good. The fucker would pay!
She saw him then, giggling like a bloody school girl from behind another car, and she got him with a small hard snowball before she went back to putting Walter back to rights.
“Look at what he did to you, you poor snowy man you,” she said loud enough that he’d hear her. And he did, and he approached.
“Least you could do is help me fix him!” she said, but she had her own ammo now, tucked away in her pockets. He conceded and bent to straighten Walter’s head on straight. He got a palmful of snow right down his front.
She was stuck with the giggles and then a very jittery large man, grabbing her and pulling her, they landed rather ungracefully on top of the snowman.
“Oh no, Walter!” she cried in false concern, as he put his snow covered paws on her face, pulling her in for a kiss.
“Fuck Walter, he’s gone back to his roots…” he said with a grin as he kissed her, sweetly at first, but soon with a hunger they both felt in the absence of the other since England.
“I’d rather fuck you, if it’s all the same, Barnes,” she whispered just in case there were any stray passers-by.
His eyes widened then before he kissed her again.
“Such language for a lady…”
That earned him a slap on his now wet chest.
“Let’s get inside before we both die of consumption or flu.”
Once inside they both shamelessly stripped down. Rather, she stripped him, and he stripped her, both of them ending up in a messy heap on his unmade bed in just their underwear.
“There are a few ways I can think of to get warm,” he muttered against her neck, his fingers dancing over her breasts, down her side, grabbing and spreading her thighs, as she willingly moved against him.
“Yes, friction creates heat…”
“So educational, tell me more,” he said against her mouth as he slipped his fingers inside her wet warmth. Christ, that never stopped being amazing.
“I was always more a show than tell kind of girl, Barnes, I thought you knew that about me by now?” she spoke, her eyes closed in silent pleasure, grinding against his palm, her own hand grabbing him just so to make her point. He stifled a moan with a kiss as he skimmed his other palm up along her soft inner thigh. He brushed his digits along her underwear, soft and cotton this time, unable to ignore the pure heat emanating from between her legs that made his cock pulse inside his drawers.
They didn’t say a word. They didn’t have to. The desire brewing between them was more than obvious. She groaned quietly when his tongue teased its way into her mouth, over and over, in a never ending battle for control. This was them, through and through though, and they both knew it, loved it, seeked it out. He could never have this with any other woman, he knew that too. There would be too much backstory, too much to explain, but with her, she just got him and accepted him. No one had done that since … well, since Steve.
Her hands glided into the back of his hair, softly scraping her perfectly painted nails along his scalp. His hand travelled down and she all but hummed softly, grinding her private warmth against his fingers.
“Shit, bloody actual shitting shit,” Peggy cursed, causing him to stop making her writhe and look at her.
“No, I forgot my thing my … thing for the … thing.”
It was adorable she couldn’t say it.
“It’s fine, I have rubbers.”
That got a raised eyebrow.
“Wait, you’re judging me? We need ‘em and you’re being judgey face?”
“No, no. I just … no, it’s good that you do otherwise this would be hastily stopping or ending in a not so happy place for both of us.”
He kissed her then.
“Honey, I could end it very happily for both of us in so many ways without me ever having to risk us fucking with your future.”
“I know but the woman has to do all the–” he gestured to her belly and it made her laugh, “the work, and I like kids but I know we’re not–”
“No, it’s not–”
“And it’s not a topic for when we’re both half cocked, so to speak.”
That set her off then, a fit of giggles that he had to pull away from because he was really half way there and her jiggling wasn’t helping. Instead he moved to root around in his bedside locker for the necessary aids.
“That’s not really what that saying means Bucky.”
“I don’t care,” he huffed.
She was still giggling, and there was only one way to stop her. Once he had everything in place he all but sauntered to where she was half laying, half sitting on the bed, stroking himself slowly. And slowly, she stopped laughing, catching his eye, then he watched her eye wander lower.
Got ya, he thought.
She opened and closed her mouth a time or two, words not quite making it out.
“What was that, Agent?”
She just grinned, a twinkle in her eyes. God he loved her like this.
“I’m still cold.”
He slid over her as she allowed herself to fall back onto the blankets softly, positioning himself between her thighs. She hitched her legs around him as they came face to face.
He just smiled.
“Never let it be said that I let a lady go cold in my bed; it would be a damn shame and I would never forgive myself,” he whispered into her soft neck. God he loved how she smelled.
“No, well, we can’t have that can we?”
And that was the last of the banter as they spent the rest of the early afternoon in various states of blissed out undress, only really resurfacing because of tummy rumbles.
By three they had finally gotten back into their clothes and trekked the two blocks to ‘the best pancakes you’ll ever eat,’ or so he promised. It was a tiny diner of sorts, not too packed given that it was New Year’s Eve that night. Most sensible people were at home enjoying their day off work if they had it.
They took the booth near the window. He liked to be near an exit she realised, always slept closest to the door too in bed. It was a quirk, a small one, but one she noticed.
“Bucky it’s good to see you in here again. I was beginning to think you’d forgot about us?”
Peggy looked up and saw a young waitress all but beaming at Bucky. Her name, so her name tag said, was Katherine.
“Kitty, course not. Just got busy with work, you know how it is.”
She was bubbly; tall and slim with no real curves the uniform could give away anyway. She had a wavy blonde do, tucked back for her job, Peggy assumed. She was a pretty girl.
Girl being the operative word, a girl who was giving her the stink eye.
“This is Peggy, she’s … a friend of mine.”
“Pleasure I’m sure,” Kitty replied, her tone anything but pleasant.
“I’ll have a large stack of my usual please, darlin’, and a side of bacon – crispy if possible – and a cup of coffee, black with two sugars if you got it.”
She jotted it all down with a smile, and then turned to Peggy and her smile dropped. It was hard to not find the whole thing amusing if she was being honest.
“Um, apparently they’re the best pancakes around and that sounds rather good, so I’ll have the same if you don’t mind – except a tea for me please – milk and two sugars.”
She sighed as if it was the world’s hardest task, and Bucky noticed.
“How’ve you been, Kitty? They treating you right here?”
“They’re fine, just waiting for the New Year, you know? I love New Year’s Eve, it’s the last chance to get festive for a long while.”
“That it is.”
“You got plans, Bucky?” she asked him but her eyes were on Peggy. She looked up and his eyes were on her too, he was smiling slightly.
“Um, you know I’m not sure yet.”
At that she took her leave with the orders.
“Someone has a crush,” Peggy whispered before sitting back in her seat. He just rolled his eyes.
“I meant to say before, Dugan and the boys, well, and their wives who’ve got ‘em and what not are having a bit of a get together in O’Shea’s pub. It’s your side of Brooklyn, you know it?”
She did, she passed it most days on her way to work.
“Anyway, I mean I wasn’t going to go, but I mean … if you … I would go if you wanted to go?”
“I wasn’t invited though…” Yes, she felt herself cringe at how awful a response that was.
He rolled his eyes again, this time playfully.
“Well yeah Carter, that’s kinda what I’m trying to rectify here.”
She wasn’t sure why, but a sweat broke out on the back of her neck, almost a panic.
“I … I mean … won’t it be … I don’t know, a little awkward?”
“I was their … I mean during the war I was their–”
“You worried they’re gonna think you’re too good for them because you were their superior during the war?”
She shrugged, that was one reason but not the reason, and they both knew it. She saw it in his face.
“Or is it you think you’re too good for them now or–” Or me, she heard it, though he never said it.
“No, that’s not it at all I just–”
With that Kitty appeared with the drinks, and never had Peggy heard so much judgement in a silent settling of cups before.
When she was out of earshot, Peggy spoke up.
“I just think it might be a tad awkward is all, I haven’t seen them all since the–”
The funeral, well, memorial. There was no body to bury but they all attended anyway, except Bucky. Jones said they had tried to reach him but at the time no one knew where he was.
“It’s fine, really. I don’t wanna pressure you into something, forget I asked.”
“No, seriously.” He attempted a friendly smile but it didn’t reach his eyes, shitting shit. “It was silly and … you know stupid and just an idea anyway, so it’s not a big deal.”
Except now she felt like shit. Whether she meant to dismiss him or not, she had, and she really hadn’t meant to. She had wanted to spend the night with him, but those men knew her from the war, they knew her as … well, someone who had something going on with Steve. Everyone knew there was something there, even if they didn’t know the details. To suddenly, okay, almost four years later show up as Barnes’ date in front of them, a first date really all things considered too… God it gave her such anxiety.
“Order up.” Kitty appeared again, expertly balancing the plates, placing Bucky’s down first of course, followed by Peggy’s. Everything did smell and look amazing even if her appetite had died in her throat.
“Thank you, looks fantastic,” she commented to her unimpressed waitress, whose eyes were still on Barnes, shockingly.
“What are your plans for tonight, Kitty?”
The girl blushed and all but sighed.
“Well… actually me and the girls are going dancing. You know that new place that opened not far from the Square? We’re going there, Susan’s brother got us tickets what with it being New Year’s an all. But it’s a struggle you know, working here and then having to rush getting all pretty in time to leave,” she sighed again as Peggy sipped her tea. Bucky was beaming at the girl, who was clearly revelling in this attention. He was trying to make her jealous, she knew that, and she wasn’t about to rise to it.
She might not think herself about anyone like Barnes thinks she thinks, but she was certainly above petty jealousy.
Or she was until the bloody blonde ran her hand down Bucky’s arm.
The absolute gall.
“Oh Sweetheart, I don’t know about them other girls,” his Brooklyn boy act was back in full effect now, his whole demeanour changed. “But you’ve got nothin’ to worry about. The boys around here should be lining around the block to get a shot at dancing with you come midnight.”
The girl blushed even deeper then, and Peggy stabbed her pancake, annoyed at how good they were.
Another customer came in and sadly dragged Katherine away from her favourite person ever, leaving them to eat in silence. It was awkward and tense, but neither one was willing to budge, apparently. Silently eating and drinking until she was about done, she couldn’t stomach anymore stupidly amazing pancakes, or looking at his stupidly handsome face as she was just so annoyed at … well … everything. Mostly herself, but mostly him too, and the waitress, and everything in between.
But again, mostly herself.
“Well,” she spoke up, fixing her knife and fork to the side of her almost empty plate. “You were right, these are the best pancakes I remember having.” She stood up then, yanking her scarf around her neck and pulling on her coat in haste. “You really should tip your waitress,” she said as she hopped out of the booth before bending down to his ear, “though don’t tip her too hard, she might get pregnant.”
And with that she marched out into the December chill, her anger keeping her warm all the way to her car.
Reviews are more than welcome 😉 xo